Have you ever struggled with a saviour complex? (Affection-wise)

[Sana Muñequita Linda]

Yes, there also exists the "white saviour complex", whose toxicity I'm aware of and would better be discussed in another thread.

 

Okay, this is a tricky one. 

 

The reason I post this thread is because I look back in my life and I realise that when it comes to affection I'm sometimes drawn to the "broken souls", sometimes hoping to "save them" and picturing myself as a compassionate, sort of a Pietà kind of stuff. So, instead of being actually affectionate and truly understanding with said person, I'm there because somehow I see good in those "poor unfortunate souls". Like the Beauty and the the Beast, that shite. That actually costed me a couple of abusive behaviours of their side, but I'd like to find a way in which I can "show my true form" to somebody without all the "redemption" bullshit.

 

Have you ever had one of these experiences?

 

Discuss!

[DragonFury]

Yes, but strangely only in a fantasy/fictional way. There's a reason why my favorite musical in Miss Saigon.

[Lord Bendtner]

Struggled? This is my ultimate dream.

[campfire]

Wow well that explains why I always go for fuck ups and think 'they're almost there! with a little bit of help they could stop being total trash!'

[Rapmon's Ahjussi Husband]

No I don't have daddy issues

[Stepkdramafan226]

Kind off 

[Envied]

Nope

 

 

I don't mind myself and the other person working on ourselves at the same time. There's nothing wrong with having someone's back, and I love to be the one cheering them on, but I'm not Captain Saveahoe.

[Sana Muñequita Linda]

Struggled? This is my ultimate dream.

 

Struggle=Saviour complexes can be dangerous in the sense that they can entail a kind of superiority complex in which your way of thinking is the only one valid + you don't allow the other person to grow as themselves, but rather as your concept of what is the best for said person + that "redemption object" turns out to be abusive, toxic garbage which is better you can avoid

 

No I don't have daddy issues

 

Te refieres a la falta de figura paterna o cómo?

[Keline]

I think I have a problem with wanting to fix people? It's probably one of the main motivating factors for me to become a doctor, for me to have the knowledge to fix people who are sick.

 

Idk if it's the same as what you're saying, but I've noticed that some of my close friends really struggle with things like insecurity and self-esteem. And I feel really frustrated sometimes because I feel like I've gone through the same thing in the past and I want them to be able to work through it too, since I know how it feels. But I don't know how to help them through it aside from giving support and trying to give them advice.

[Sana Muñequita Linda]

I think I have a problem with wanting to fix people? It's probably one of the main motivating factors for me to become a doctor, for me to have the knowledge to fix people who are sick.

 

Idk if it's the same as what you're saying, but I've noticed that some of my close friends really struggle with things like insecurity and self-esteem. And I feel really frustrated sometimes because I feel like I've gone through the same thing in the past and I want them to be able to work through it too, since I know how it feels. But I don't know how to help them through it aside from giving support and trying to give them advice.

 

No, it's not the same thing. Sorry if I was misunderstood. And I support that you want to become a doctor and use your support to help people!

[Gloupipoo]

Nope

 

 

I don't mind myself and the other person working on ourselves at the same time. There's nothing wrong with having someone's back, and I love to be the one cheering them on, but I'm not Captain Saveahoe.

[Keline]

No, it's not the same thing. Sorry if I was misunderstood. And I support that you want to become a doctor and use your support to help people!

 

It's ok! I wasn't sure if I was interpreting the term correctly or not either.

Aww thank you~

[Rapmon's Ahjussi Husband]

Te refieres a la falta de figura paterna o cómo?

Yes, usually people who had the lack of a father figure or have a negative one tend embrace leachers / abussive type of people