I'm depressed and i can't stop crying

[SiFenny]

Today i've been feeling down and it got worse when i ask my boyfriend if we could meet but he told me that he can't go out at night. When he asked me why i'm feeling like this i told him that sometimes i don't know if he knows whats going on with me even when i told him about my illness. He didn't respond and later he just told me he's not feeling good and just stop texting me.

 

Now, i'm hurt, i can't stop crying and i just think he's being selfish because i know he thinks im angry at him when that's not the reason.

 

I've been dealing with depression for almost 5 years and its been really difficult, i have no support from my family and i lost all my friends because of it, so i'm pretty much alone.

 

I just can't believe he left me alone feeling like this when yesterday when he told me that he wasn't feeling Well and was missing me, i tried to make him feel better.

 

I know he will try to talk to me tomorrow like nothing happend or he will say that he went to bed upset because i was angry and that he couldn' sleep because he was sad, and i don't know if i should text him and forget about it. Im just really dissapointed and i never stopped talking to him even when i was angry and him. And we are supposed to meet on the weekend but i don't know if i should cancel.

 

What can i do? Should i text him tomorrow and pretend that im okay or should i let him know how i feel? Its okay if i cancel our date or should i go and see if we can resolve this?

 

He's a nice guy and i know he loves me but sometimes i tink he doesn't understand me or maybe my depression is starting to afect my relashionship and i can't see it.

 

Sorry for the the long post and my bad english, its hard to think when i'm feeling like this.

[*lesigh*]

Express your feelings. This depression clearly seems to be something that's affecting you greatly, you also might want to consider getting some form of professional help.

[campfire]

Meet with him and tell him everything you've said here and see what he says. Also have you received any kind of counseling or anything over the 5 years? And your English was fine to me, but I must admit I skim read it.

[palechibi]

you need find someone whether family member friend or counselor to just let everything you're feeling out first of all bottling it up will only let it get even worse.

[Suzuran]

I wouldn't know much about how it feels to be depressed myself so I can't really comment on that but if it's been going on for 5 years, professional help would be a worth a try at least I reckon.

 

Also (and I know it's easier said than done) but being honest about things and explaining it to try and make your partner aware would be the best, as that would create understanding and support from his side in the future, hopefully.

[abra]

Tell it to him in person

[Jcey]

Express your feelings. This depression clearly seems to be something that's affecting you greatly, you also might want to consider getting some form of professional help.

[Chase]

You're in luck. Today is #WorldSuicidePreventionDay

 

[Aegyo Chorong]

Honestly, I think perhaps your boyfriend is probably stressed or is becoming depressed as well. 

I think you should try calling him tomorrow or  at least try to meet up with him and talk about the issues that are stressing you guys out.

Also the last thing you would want to do is get angry, so if you could just look past his mistake tonight it would help your situation.

Take care!!!

[YNRA]

be clear with him on your depression and your feelings. if he still acts like that regularly he isnt a very good boyfriend for you and maybe you should see someone else

[Thotcahontas]

Ah I hate when random depression happens believe it or not fanfics help me out of it..and that's truth man I just click to see if a fanfic is updated (usually it is) and boom it disappears it's like temp relief

[Pourquoi]

Not everyone can deal with someone that is depressed. The fact that he doesn't talk about it proves that he doesn't know what to say/how to react.

It doesn't make him the bad guy, better say nothing that saying words that can hurt. 

[Voldemort Sunbaenim]

Do you want a cookie?

[♩ ♪ ♫ ♬]

for some reason i kept reading "boyfriend" as "brother" & was a bit confused..

 

in the end your illness is your own journey & it's very hard to ask people to be understanding.. i just cried this afternoon too..

[Rapmon's Ahjussi Husband]

Try to seek professional help if it's affecting your life so hardcore; maybe at school with some counseling; I recommend therapy, letting all out may help; the relationship with your boyfriend is not the thing to focus here

[Isaac]

Depression can be contagious. When you are depressed, it really affects other people around you as well. People are avoiding you not because they don't love you - it's rather the opposite. They love you, but they just don't know how to deal with you so as a result they may opt for avoidance as they don't want to lash out the words that hurt you. On the other hand, you just assume that they don't care and become even more depressed, which in turns drives them away all the more.

 

I'm not saying this in a condemning way. I'm saying this as a person who battled depression and won. The "you" I stated above is also me years ago. I heard on the radio that today is Suicide Prevention Day and I recalled how I was on the verge of killing myself years ago. Like really, I was just seconds away from suicide. Obviously, that didn't happen and I thank God every day that I'm still alive and I've overcome depression. I can't tell you what to do as everyone's situation is different. But if there is one advice I can give you I would say instead of trying to seek others' understanding, be understanding. It's not easy for people who have never experienced depression to understand why we are the way we are. It's frustrating for them. So instead of trying to change others, change our mindset. Be happy. I know it's easier said than done, but it is not impossible. Depression is contagious, but so is happiness. Depressed people drive others away, happy people draw others in.

 

For me, it works like this:

 

You're depressed - people are drifting away - you're even more depressed

You're happy - people want to be around you - you feel loved

 

I know it sounds simple, but you get the gist of it. You may also think that these "people" are selfish, but  it's really our depression, our move. We can't just stay the same, continue to be self-pity, and expect others to change for us.

 

I wish you the best of luck. Hit me up if you need someone to hear you out.

[Lil]

Express your feelings. This depression clearly seems to be something that's affecting you greatly, you also might want to consider getting some form of professional help.

in schools and such they do offer professional help, you should try going to them, it will be difficult though so hang in there sweet pea

[SiFenny]

Express your feelings. This depression clearly seems to be something that's affecting you greatly, you also might want to consider getting some form of professional help.

Yeah, i'll try to express my feelings more often, and Im trying to seek professional help. Thanks for the advise.

[SiFenny]

Meet with him and tell him everything you've said here and see what he says. Also have you received any kind of counseling or anything over the 5 years? And your English was fine to me, but I must admit I skim read it.

I was waiting for him to text me in the morning but he didn't. I know when he does that its because he's upset so i'm going to give him some time and space.

i've had professional help but i stopped going there last year.

[SiFenny]

I wouldn't know much about how it feels to be depressed myself so I can't really comment on that but if it's been going on for 5 years, professional help would be a worth a try at least I reckon.

 

Also (and I know it's easier said than done) but being honest about things and explaining it to try and make your partner aware would be the best, as that would create understanding and support from his side in the future, hopefully.

I know, i'm trying to be honest with my feelings and he knows i have depression. But sometimes i think that he doesn't understand whats going on with me and thinks that if im happy today its because i'm better or something.

We usually get upset with eatch other once a week and im trying not to do that anymore.

[SiFenny]

Honestly, I think perhaps your boyfriend is probably stressed or is becoming depressed as well.

I think you should try calling him tomorrow or at least try to meet up with him and talk about the issues that are stressing you guys out.

Also the last thing you would want to do is get angry, so if you could just look past his mistake tonight it would help your situation.

Take care!!!

Yes, i'll try to do that. Thanks for the advise.

[SiFenny]

for some reason i kept reading "boyfriend" as "brother" & was a bit confused..

 

in the end your illness is your own journey & it's very hard to ask people to be understanding.. i just cried this afternoon too..

Yeah, i know that i have to see whats best for me in order to stop feeling like this but we are partners and he doesn't like that i keep my feelings all by myself and just shut down.

I know that wants to help me but i feel that he doesnt understand whats going on with me.

 

And i hope you feel better.

[Naru134]

Its better to share what ypu feel with another person who will listen to you, then when you're ready to say it to your bf...talk with each other and maybe i think...your depression has kinda affected ur relationship cause ur needing someone yet no one helped you. So fix it first and then talk to yohr bf. I think he just doesnt understand how depressed or what ur true feelings are so thats why he may not respond to u...but thats just my opinion.

[SiFenny]

Depression can be contagious. When you are depressed, it really affects other people around you as well. People are avoiding you not because they don't love you - it's rather the opposite. They love you, but they just don't know how to deal with you so as a result they may opt for avoidance as they don't want to lash out the words that hurt you. On the other hand, you just assume that they don't care and become even more depressed, which in turns drives them away all the more.

 

I'm not saying this in a condemning way. I'm saying this as a person who battled depression and won. The "you" I stated above is also me years ago. I heard on the radio that today is Suicide Prevention Day and I recalled how I was on the verge of killing myself years ago. Like really, I was just seconds away from suicide. Obviously, that didn't happen and I thank God every day that I'm still alive and I've overcome depression. I can't tell you what to do as everyone's situation is different. But if there is one advice I can give you I would say instead of trying to seek others' understanding, be understanding. It's not easy for people who have never experienced depression to understand why we are the way we are. It's frustrating for them. So instead of trying to change others, change our mindset. Be happy. I know it's easier said than done, but it is not impossible. Depression is contagious, but so is happiness. Depressed people drive others away, happy people draw others in.

 

For me, it works like this:

 

You're depressed - people are drifting away - you're even more depressed

You're happy - people want to be around you - you feel loved

 

I know it sounds simple, but you get the gist of it. You may also think that these "people" are selfish, but it's really our depression, our move. We can't just stay the same, continue to be self-pity, and expect others to change for us.

 

I wish you the best of luck. Hit me up if you need someone to hear you out.

Yeah, i understand what you're trying to say and i think you're right.

This is my battle and i should know whats best for me without deppeding to much on others.

I know he really cares for me and its trying to understand whats going on with me, but when i talk to him and tell him how i feel, sometimes i keep thinking he's just waiting for me to get better and move on and stop being depressed.

 

I just don't want this to ruin our relashionship.

 

Thank you for your kind words and mi glad you're okay now.

[SiFenny]

Its better to share what ypu feel with another person who will listen to you, then when you're ready to say it to your bf...talk with each other and maybe i think...your depression has kinda affected ur relationship cause ur needing someone yet no one helped you. So fix it first and then talk to yohr bf. I think he just doesnt understand how depressed or what ur true feelings are so thats why he may not respond to u...but thats just my opinion.

I think you're right. He told me that i cant trust him and just tell him how i feel, but since he never experienced nothing like this, i think he's confused and just think that if i'm feeling sad its because he did something wrong.