Mononoke 151 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Today, I met her at the gym. me and my friends were on the way to back home and she approached me, so my friends left me with her. then, she asked me out tomorrow, at that time I was in shock and accidentally say "ok". but actually I don't want to go, I was very close to her but I just see her as a big sister no more than that, how do I respond/cancel without hurting her feelings? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Netizenbuzz 86 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Is she ugly or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mononoke 151 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Share Posted September 5, 2013 Is she ugly or something? she is cute, many of my friends was crush with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
junglove 4,071 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 she is cute, many of my friends was crush with her. so what's the problem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Netizenbuzz 86 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 she is cute, many of my friends was crush with her. Then why not go out with her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mononoke 151 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Share Posted September 5, 2013 so what's the problem? Then why not go out with her? first, she is older than me. my age difference with her about 5 years. it's just make me look like her little brother. second, i don't like her as a girl. i just look at her as a big sister and she was really kind to me. And I do not want to change this relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mnt21 702 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Go out with her just to test it out if you dont like it tell her how you feel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deaneira 581 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 tell her that you suddenly had some urgent work to do , or assignment or anything necessary . if you like , tell her that 'maybe' you'll hang out with her in the future but its just sweet talk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ogre Shrek 8,980 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Don't be a douchebag and not turn up for the outing. It must have taken a lot of courage for her to do what she did. Just because you don't have romantic feelings for her, doesn't mean you guys can't go out. Just take it as a normal outing between friends, and not make it into such a big deal. Edit: 5 year age gap? How old are you again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Secret 366 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Be honest and nice. Tell her that you think that she is a great person, but you only see her as a big sister. And tell her that you're sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Secret 366 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 tell her that you suddenly had some urgent work to do , or assignment or anything necessary . if you like , tell her that 'maybe' you'll hang out with her in the future but its just sweet talk That's not a good idea. He will be giving false hope and she will probably ask him out again. He can not make excuses forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mononoke 151 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Share Posted September 5, 2013 Don't be a douchebag and not turn up for the outing. It must take a lot of courage for her to do what she did. Just because you don't have romantic feelings for her, doesn't mean you guys can't go out. Just take it as a normal outing between friends, and not make it into such a big deal. Edit: 5 year age gap? How old are you again? Ok, i will go with her and think this is just hang out between sister and brother. But I'm afraid that she will thinking I really liked her. I was 19 and she is 24. she has worked and i still in college Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RubberDuckyTai 2,731 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 first, she is older than me. my age difference with her about 5 years. it's just make me look like her little brother. second, i don't like her as a girl. i just look at her as a big sister and she was really kind to me. And I do not want to change this relationship. My mom is 5 years older than my dad. He was 15 and she was 20 when they started dating (he was 18 and she was 23 when they got married)...So age shouldn't matter. But if you only see her as an older sister then make sure you make that clear to her. Don't be mean about it though. Go on that date as a "friend" and if you don't like it, then tell her how you really feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby Faith 5,082 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Maybe she just wants to hang out casually...How do you know she meant a date Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deaneira 581 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 That's not a good idea. He will be giving false hope and she will probably ask him out again. He can not make excuses forever. my life is full of 'false hope' . when i ask someone out , that someone gives reason like that and i understood them . btw , do you think that she likes you ? if you do think like that , then try to tell her properly and nicely without any harsh words that you just think of her as your friend . speak nicely and softly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mononoke 151 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Share Posted September 5, 2013 wth, who is downvoting every comment in here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winxred12 244 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 15 and 20?... Meet with her before hand and tell her the truth. Or go on the thing and treated as a friends hang out and if she asks you again tell her in person the truth, I would go with the first choice though. I think mentally it would be better for me if I got rejected that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mononoke 151 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Share Posted September 5, 2013 my life is full of 'false hope' . when i ask someone out , that someone gives reason like that and i understood them . btw , do you think that she likes you ? if you do think like that , then try to tell her properly and nicely without any harsh words that you just think of her as your friend . speak nicely and softly Maybe she just wants to hang out casually...How do you know she meant a date i hope so but why it's just me and her, when she is close with my friends too and and I've heard from my friend that she likes me. My mom is 5 years older than my dad. He was 15 and she was 20 when they started dating (he was 18 and she was 23 when they got married)...So age shouldn't matter. But if you only see her as an older sister then make sure you make that clear to her. Don't be mean about it though. Go on that date as a "friend" and if you don't like it, then tell her how you really feel. ok, but how? I'm afraid she is hate me or losing her after I tell my feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RubberDuckyTai 2,731 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 ok, but how? I'm afraid she is hate me or losing her after I tell my feelings. Sincerity is usually the best way. I think if you're sincere (not mean, just softly being sincere "Hey *insert name here* I really like you and respect you as a friend, but *insert reasons here.*) then she shouldn't hate you or leave you as a friend. It might create awkwardness afterwards, but if she's a good friend then it shouldn't matter. Or at least I hope not. I tend to be a very blunt person so I don't get shocked or bothered by things like this. All I can say is, make sure you don't leave her hanging and not go on the "date." Good luck with it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mononoke 151 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Share Posted September 5, 2013 Sincerity is usually the best way. I think if you're sincere (not mean, just softly being sincere "Hey *insert name here* I really like you and respect you as a friend, but *insert reasons here.*) then she shouldn't hate you or leave you as a friend. It might create awkwardness afterwards, but if she's a good friend then it shouldn't matter. Or at least I hope not. I tend to be a very blunt person so I don't get shocked or bothered by things like this. All I can say is, make sure you don't leave her hanging and not go on the "date." Good luck with it all. thank you, i will try it. I hope, I have the courage to say it tomorrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abra 40,910 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Actually I think you should give it a shot. This is a chance to take your relationship a step further, and since you're already friends I think it's more likely to stay friends if you go to the date and try to make it work and it doesn't instead of just half-assing it or not going at all because that could hurt her feelings. Try it out, it could be a great experience and she deserves the chance. Just try to enjoy it and see what happens. She's most likely been anticipating this for a while so if you tell her that you might just ruin her day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winxred12 244 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Actually I think you should give it a shot. This is a chance to take your relationship a step further, and since you're already friends I think it's more likely to stay friends if you go to the date and try to make it work and it doesn't instead of just half-assing it or not going at all because that could hurt her feelings. Try it out, it could be a great experience and she deserves the chance. Just try to enjoy it and see what happens. She's most likely been anticipating this for a while so if you tell her that you might just ruin her day. But if he doesn't like her why should he? I think it's cruel for both of them. There's no obligation to give it a try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abra 40,910 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 But if he doesn't like her why should he? I think it's cruel for both of them. There's no obligation to give it a try. If he's already said yes then he might as well give it a shot. You never know, he might see her in a different light. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rinne 11,705 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Go for it. You may see a different side of her coz noona neomu yeopeo lalala michyeo lalala replay replay replay uh uh yeah Love is unpredictable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prosperity 209 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Go to the meet up/date, whatever it is lol. Plan up your speech beforehand, and at the end of tomorrow tell her that you had a great time with her and you want to remain friends forever ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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