The Official Homework Help Thread!

[sakurahanabira]

can someone give me feedback on this, its part of my mid term essay for summer session i have to critcally engage in the book 'Connecting Social Problems and Popular Culture"

idk if i worded the last part of that right???

 
First of all I can't tell what your argument here is since you have no thesis. You need a thesis in order to write a good essay. Secondly, you have a lot of run-on sentences and grammar issues in your introduction.
 
[spoiler]

If anything looking at the timeline of media can show proof that media really isn’t something that influences us, we influence media.

 
This sentence sounds awkward. Try:
 
When we look at a media timeline, it proves that media isn't what influence us; rather, we influence the media. 
 

In the 1920s racism against black people was obviously very prevalent and we can tell when we look at certain songs from that decade and also the fact “black face” was such a popular thing but if those same things were done in these days it would very much be highly looked down upon, why? because we have realized how wrong it is and the popular opinion nowadays is that racism is wrong.

 
 
Run-on sentence. It should be:
 
In the 1920s racism against black people were obviously very prevalent. We can tell when we look at certain songs from that decade, along with "black face" being a common occurrence. Yet if those same things were done today, they would be looked down on. Why? Because we have come to realize how wrong they are. 
 
("the popular opinion nowadays is that racism is wrong" part is unnecessary)
 

We can’t go around ridiculing singers for using sex to sell when we are the ones buying it, Parents can't go around complaining about foul language and sex in films have a bad influence on their children when they're the ones buying and consuming those same exact films at the end of the day helping it to become the popular thing (...)

 
Another run-on sentence. Here's a fix:
 
We can’t go around ridiculing singers for using sex to sell when we are the ones buying it. Likewise, parents also can't go around complaining about foul language and sex in films have having a bad influence on their children when they're the ones buying and consuming those same exact films at the end of the day. helping it to become the popular thing (...)
[/spoiler]

 

Your introduction also seems to be all over the place with you talking about different things at once. First you talk about racism, and then you jump into talking about how we can't criticize sex being prevalent in the media when we're the ones consuming it. You need to make clear what your argument for your essay is. 

Edited August 1, 2016 by tea macaron