[ENG Lyrics] Black Nut's ′내가 í• ìˆ˜ 있는 건′ ft Jessi SMTM4 Semi-final performance

[ethereal]

 

 

 

(intro)

My name is Daewoong, nice to meet you.
Uh… I really wanted to say this
I really wanted to do rap, right?
So I just quit college and…
Stayed home telling everyone that I was going to do what I wanted to do
and made my parents worry and
Everything… just looked so cool to me
Everything looked cool.
I wanted to be cool on stage and stuff
and have a lot of girlfriends
and make a lot of money…
but that’s just me when I knew nothing
It was something I only fantasized about…
Well, now that I’m really doing rap… it’s really exhausting.
When I see my friends,
being successful and having a job, one by one
I only have one thought, “Wow what did I do until now…â€
But when I think back, there was actually
nothing that I could do…
I only rapped and wrote lyrics,
but I’m not even good at rapping so…
So… well there’s nothing actually
I think I’m just some retarded son of a bitch haha
But.. I think this…
is the only thing I can do.

(verse1)
I was a weak kid since I was young
To me, rap was my only friend, I always held a pen in my hand
I had nothing to relate with other people
Everyone ran to the field with a ball
I couldn’t even play computer games, I only went to the PC room on weekends
I went home alone with a backpack that dragged off of me
I wanted to laugh and talk with you guys,
but I had to go to my parents’ store to help them because they were busy
I started serving since I was in middle school
My heart became darker as I saw more and more crazy people
They broke bottles and fought with blood dripping in front of me
and next to me, there were some women with children who giggled with other guys that were not their husbands
and my mom and dad had no chance but to suck up to them
I came back from work when it  was late twilight
I collapsed in my dark room and slept a sleep without a dream
I hated the repetiton of my hellish life that starts again when the alarm goes off
I hoped for time to go slow after I threw blankets on myself
I wanted to be diagnosed with cancer back then.
Because then these hard days would disappear
I put on my uniform and went to school as I sighed
Closed my textbook and opened my notebook which was like a rag
Every class, I rested my chin on my hand and wrote lyrics
No one looked at me with a smiling face
and I stepped on them on top of my paper
That was my happiest days
I wrote so many stories on that small, white piece of paper
How would I be if there weren’t those times?
After a few years, I read what I wrote again
It made me squirm a little, but I decided my path
Another darkness overcame me starting then

(hook)
There is no one that’s not struggling baby
When things tangle up, it becomes better later
You ain’t gotta worry about a 
Thang baby
Cause there ain’t nothing in 
this world you can’t do baby
There is no one that’s not struggling baby
When things tangle up, it becomes better later
la la la la la

(verse2)
I didn’t even expect anything of Soul Connection
I became a little arrogant after I passed auditions
I ignored all messages from the old friends that I used to rap with
and wrote lyrics with my foot (meaning bad lyrics), acting fake in front of the Soul Connection hyungs
I gave myself air as if I became something
You know Soul Connection?
Yeah… I’m part of them who sang 새벽아래
Oh, you do some rapping?
I become more stuck-up as time goes
It feels like everyone is so useless
I said some things without thinking while I was drunk in front of Soul Connection hyungs
I escaped acting like I forgot what happened the next day
I held the mic on the stage with no seriousness at all
I put down my pen and only thought about getting the high school girls who were my fans with shallow words
and all the lyrics I wrote just to get by were all lies
Fake, bubbly lyrics filled with nothing inside that ignored and put down others
Now that I look, I think those words were all warnings directed at me
Everyone is leaving me
That night, I told Maslo that I was leaving Soul Connection
and started from the beginning again in my room alone. Watch me
The calendar in my room fast forwarded a multiple pages after that

(hook)

(verse3)
I think I’m walking my way with all I can, but
people around me who doesn’t know hip-hop worry about me when they’re not even interested
How long is he staying in his room like that?
Even when I hold my pen in my room alone
I feel like everyone’s looking at me, even when the windows are closed
I’ll pay all this back one day, all this judgement directed at me
so that they all change to jealousy and envy
I bet everything on my right hand that’s holding the pen
I think I took a difficult road, but there are no regrets
Don’t bottle it in and laugh, so I become more pitiful
I’m going to do it in silence because then my success will feel more valuable
I’m alone and lonely, but I don’t want to go outside
You’ll spit on my face again and laugh at me, “you, rap?â€
I just laugh, that’s right, it’s my reality
and think about what you said to me when I come back home
You probably went to sleep without thinking about what you said,
but I stayed up until morning out of anger every time I met you
Just watch me, I say it to myself a few 100 times
I don’t even have any more tears, I grip my pen harder
I don’t give up, little by little and slowly
I pull through my hardships like an egg cell traveling through a fallopian tube 
I don’t waver even though I’m in the middle of endless dispair because
Shine is always with me unlike JK (he’s referring to shine in an abstract term, but also referring to Tiger JK and DJ Shine. 
DJ Shine was part of Drunken Tiger with Tiger JK, but left due to personal reasons).
Hurry, burn my pitiful yesterday so it disappears
I want to say goodbye with a smiling face
I sell my voice with deadly courage (ì£½ì„ translates to deadly and 죽 translates to rice porridge. 본죽 is a store that sells rice porridge. 
So this is a wordplay kind of thing)
Even if everyone laughs at me, calling me an idiot
and the bank keeps raising the interest rate of my debt,
when my eyes suddenly dazzle in my dark room,
everything will come back. I’ll keep fighting with my hardships soundlessly.
I already changed my calendar 7 times, but I don’t regret about the time I spent
I keep fighting my hardships
I keep fighting my hardships
You, who has fallen, never give up
Grab my hand, if you’re the same as me

(hook)

 

credit

 

these lyrics made me tear up, tbh. knowing his full story makes you realize a lot of things about him. he’s in a state of reflection and self discovery thanks to smtm4 imo and it’s nice to see that he’s being 100% real in his lyrics for once. 

 

this was a great way for him to go, leaving with a song with great lyrica content and pouring his soul into it, and I'm happy the Mino vs Black Nut rivalry didn't get dragged out into the finals and they both seem to be fine with each other. 

 

good job, Black Nut. his song is currently #2 on melon and I truthfully believe he deserves it. Him and Mino really gave a lot of real emotions and I wish more content like this could come out of the k-hip hop scene and hip hop scene in general. 

[harootony]

[kpopluveer]

 

I'm still not feeling him.... but this performance was great and the lyrics are even better.

 

 I honestly thought he would beat Mino. I'm happy with the results, tho.

[le youth]

unnecessary tbh 

[Gravity]

God Daewoong

[jooheon]

Proud of him

[memejae]

this is what we needed from BN. he clearly has the talent and doesn't need the offensive gimmick to get attention. I hope releases more stuff like this now.

[jay234]

That was good. I wonder if he is going to take this path with his music later on in his career.

[Hanabi dream]

Not bad

[Hanabi dream]

Not bad

[Foodielove]

He did well

[craZee]

Wow. He did real good.

 

I don't know why but perhaps after reading those lyrics, the shout out to his parents got to me.