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Depressed/Overwhelmed. Advice?


KoreaxxLove

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Well, it's really a long story. Some of you may remember a post I made about my friend (posted it back on Hallyu8, I believe). Anyway, long story short, I really loved him, but he wasn't gay, and things didn't work out. 

 

Anyway, I still really miss him, but I've been talking to other guys, too. I met a guy a few months ago, and we've been talking a lot. He'd recently left his ex, and we were in a similar situation. 

 

We got pretty close, but I never really felt as if I would ever really like him like I did my friend. This guy is extremely rich (I'm very poor) and super cute (I'm just an average guy). I know that's superficial, but I say it only to say that he basically gets anything and everything he wants because (whether they should or not), money and looks can go a long way. 

 

Anyway, we've become pretty good friends, but lately, he barely writes back. I told him that I was going to stop writing multiple times just for him to ignore me because it made me look stupid, but he just laughed. 

 

We made a deal the other week not to talk about his ex/my friend anymore so that we could both kind of move on, but he told me tonight that he got back with his ex, and (coupled with the fact that my football team was losing) I felt very irritated/depressed by his statement. I don't know why, but I really feel like it bothers me more than it should, and I don't really have anything to do about it. He was taking so long to reply and replied so little that I basically blew up on him, and now I feel bad about that, too. 

 

I never really felt that way about this guy, so it shouldn't bother me. But, it really does. Maybe I'm just jealous he got back with his ex, and something like that is impossible for me. I really want to be happy for him because he's my friend, and I know I shouldn't be jealous, but it just feels like he gets everything handed to him. I feel like I should be happy for him, though, but I just get angry every time I see him. 

 

Anyway, I don't know what to do. Any advice? 

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Ugh damn trolls  :>_>:

 

Sorry to hear about all that :/ Yeah jealousy among friends is really common. I would say just try and distance yourself from him if it really disturbs you that bad. Or talk to him about it if you really want to remain friends.

 

I think your best bet is to move on and make new friends, though. 

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The way I see it is that you seem to be stuck in a loop of being rejected. Obviously, your first choice, the best friend that you loved so much would and will never work. Your other choice seems to have their situation figured out too. It seems that since the rich guy fixed his situation and got back with his ex while your love relationship is unrequited, you feel jealousy towards him? The best move for you to do right now would be to cool down, move on, and just have fun being single. If a potential relationship arises, then take it. Its not like you need to have to be in a relationship. The point is to try not to think about them.

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I've never been in love nor had any of these experiences but what I personally do when I'm upset or really sad is first you need is to watch a really sad tearjerker movie to get rid of all the negativity and cry your heart out and then try to go out more do the things that you like and make you happy it's gonna take some time but you'll be over it soon :)

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"The only way to really remedy this whole thing — the source of your jealousy — is to concentrate on yourself. You need to practice some major RADICAL SELFLOVE. Learn to love & value yourself — then you won’t be constantly seeking people to weigh yourself up against. Stop comparing yourself to other people, for your own sake."

 

I hope that helps.

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Like other people have said, the best thing for now is to separate yourself from him. It doesn't have to be forever, just while you're feeling this way. Even if you weren't in love with him, you were still close with him, and maybe thought you could get to that place eventually. It's understandable that you're upset. Don't be too hard on yourself and just take some time away. Try to meet new people or hang out with friends you haven't seen in a while. Being sad about it won't change his situation, so just do your best to move on to bigger and better things :)

 

Also, just take the no fucks given approach. Seriously. I had a rough year last year, and the minute I stopped giving a fuck about things I couldn't change and stopped worrying about what other people thought and just started living life, things instantly got better. It will be tough for a while, but eventually you'll be over it and onto the next thing. Good luck~

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I do believe that at this point. You ought to look at yourself. Look at yourself. Are you happy where you are right now? Is having a relationship the only way that will make you happy? Can't you be happy doing the things you are interested in? 

There's a lot of other gay people out there who are in the same position. 

It's really hard for me to give advice because I don't experience the same as you but I do believe that another good person will come your way and will make you in a peaceful state.

If a friend is making you feel all of these toxic feelings. It's better to let them go and look for a bright tomorrow. 

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"The only way to really remedy this whole thing — the source of your jealousy — is to concentrate on yourself. You need to practice some major RADICAL SELFLOVE. Learn to love & value yourself — then you won’t be constantly seeking people to weigh yourself up against. Stop comparing yourself to other people, for your own sake."

 

I hope that helps.

^This..nice advice

 

 

Find another friend or move on. I am kinda in a similar situation with a friend of many. You are the only one getting hurt by this not him.

True

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The way I see it is that you seem to be stuck in a loop of being rejected. Obviously, your first choice, the best friend that you loved so much would and will never work. Your other choice seems to have their situation figured out too. It seems that since the rich guy fixed his situation and got back with his ex while your love relationship is unrequited, you feel jealousy towards him? The best move for you to do right now would be to cool down, move on, and just have fun being single. If a potential relationship arises, then take it. Its not like you need to have to be in a relationship. The point is to try not to think about them.

 

Yeah, I think this is pretty much it. =/ Thanks for the advice! I'll try to follow it.

 

 

"The only way to really remedy this whole thing — the source of your jealousy — is to concentrate on yourself. You need to practice some major RADICAL SELFLOVE. Learn to love & value yourself — then you won’t be constantly seeking people to weigh yourself up against. Stop comparing yourself to other people, for your own sake."

 

I hope that helps.

 

Thanks! I really do need to stop comparing myself. It's hard sometimes, but I'd be a lot better off if I quit. It helps. :)

 

 

Like other people have said, the best thing for now is to separate yourself from him. It doesn't have to be forever, just while you're feeling this way. Even if you weren't in love with him, you were still close with him, and maybe thought you could get to that place eventually. It's understandable that you're upset. Don't be too hard on yourself and just take some time away. Try to meet new people or hang out with friends you haven't seen in a while. Being sad about it won't change his situation, so just do your best to move on to bigger and better things :)

 

Also, just take the no fucks given approach. Seriously. I had a rough year last year, and the minute I stopped giving a fuck about things I couldn't change and stopped worrying about what other people thought and just started living life, things instantly got better. It will be tough for a while, but eventually you'll be over it and onto the next thing. Good luck~

 

I've tried that approach, but I find when I do that, I can get very curt/offensive with people, and I always end up feeling bad. I guess I should just be more mindful. haha

 

Anyway, thanks, guys. I feel a little better today after sleeping on it. I'll see how things go from here.  :meow:

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