Salieri 4,473 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 So just a while ago I posted a thread about a few of my friends getting married My old topic so in the few years back my friend and i was talking about love and interest and we were saying how we like to meet up one day in the future with our kids but now after two years my friends (almost most of them are engagef and even have children of their own) While I'm here alone single (told them i want to get married when I'm ready and commited getting a decent job, able to support myself and a family if needed while my wife not having to work and able to live our life comfertable and not get into any relationship until I got a decent salary and have my own place) yet when i told them just recently as some of us met a few days ago. They just laughed due to being single still and what made matters worse is the fact the girl i used to have a crush on asked me if I'm still a virgin which i said yes because i don't want to lose it until I'm married and commitied. I know a few of them are in work already but I'm still in education in my first year of university and still a virgin. And have my own goal in life and I'm passionate about. Their all older than me but only by a few months and I'm only 18 coming 19 this year. Am i really that slow or what Coz honestly it feels like that all of them have moved on but I'm still in education single and virgin. Really i dont know anymore On what to think about it.T It just feels they are all moving so fast in life. Source: http://onehallyu.com/topic/171444-am-i-slow/ but now I seriously am getting quite worried for some reasons. Another one of my friends are getting engaged and (I'm happy for him of course) but It really seems like I'm always slow within relationship building, all my friends are ether dating or engaged/married and I'm just here wondering what to do with myself and my relationship and even thinking about online dating to be honest. But I just don't really get how to in all honesty. My mates whom I hang around in university even told me to join a mobile dating app (deleted it like a few days after) and they called me weird for not like using it . I just sometimes feel uncomfortable in dating in all honesty. Is this actually weird and am I just overthinking this.? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mako Yagami 4,462 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 People with goals often find love a bit late. Dont worry about it too much. Eventually you will come across someone to motivate you enough to try building a relationship with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nev Schulman 7,960 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 You're falling into the pressure of your friends... date when you're ready but don't force it as that can lead to unhappiness stay strong have pets have a guineapig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
l u n n a 1,382 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Don't worry about it. Your life is your life and you shouldn't base it on others lives. Just go at your own pace and things will naturally fall into place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indiechingu 1,242 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 People with goals often find love a bit late. Dont worry about it too much. Eventually you will come across someone to motivate you enough to try building a relationship with. ^^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Hanks 326 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 I mean, do you want to be in a relationship? You shouldn't be comparing yourself to others tbh. As long as you're content and happy, isn't that what matters? A lot of people are perfectly content with never being married or having an intimate relationship with someone. I actually know a guy who is like that. He doesn't plan on getting married, but enjoys being an uncle and stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Yotsubato~ 3,849 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 You are 19 and you wanna get engaged/married? (I mean ur friends) I think the weird thing is jumping into a commitment such as marriage and having a family when u are a young fuck that hasnt experienced life yet.As for the dating thing, I told another user the same thing yesterday I think. There is always someone out there for you. Your time will come and when it does you gonna love it. Concerning the virgin thing, I am totally against it but I repect your choices and I find nothing weird in it either, sex is great but at the same time the most intimate thing you will do with a human being so there is no right or wrong answer regarding the subject of whether getting it done early or waiting, the one who does say stuff like that is a fucking dumbass.Enjoy your schoolife, I had some of my fondest memories there and I met the most amazing peeps when I was in uni, connections you make with people who are different than you is what makes life great imo, seeing stuff from another perspective and growing yourself due to those meetings/connections. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sully 4,318 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 You're still way ahead of me. At least you're still in college and can meet people. It really is true that if you don't meet someone while in school it's be VERY hard to meet people once you graduate. So if you want to be in a relationship, really look now. I'm 30 and not married, no boyfriend, and no prospects. I'm probably going to die alone This wasn't what I wanted for myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErikaEGO 8,626 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissxkiss_baby 5,756 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 You're 18/19? Omg you have so much time to settle down, you shouldn't be pressured at all. I work with brides and a lot of them are like 28-30, it honestly depends. You can focus on relationships when you're done school... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xharuharux 2,487 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 the quote says you are still 19 take it slow~ especially marriage. many people jump into it. thats why the divorce rate is so high don't worry, relationships are a two way stream. if you make effort and the other person makes the same effort then its worth the wait right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salieri 4,473 Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 You're falling into the pressure of your friends... date when you're ready but don't force it as that can lead to unhappiness stay strong have pets have a guineapig I can't have any pets since I live with my parents and we have a takeaway so.... I mean, do you want to be in a relationship? You shouldn't be comparing yourself to others tbh. As long as you're content and happy, isn't that what matters? A lot of people are perfectly content with never being married or having an intimate relationship with someone. I actually know a guy who is like that. He doesn't plan on getting married, but enjoys being an uncle and stuff. I just feel the pressure is getting to me. During school I've dated only once but afterwards I just can't seem to find any motivation to find love itself though I would love to get into one.. Just makes me uneasy when I talk face to face Get a waifu How do you define 'wifu' anyway? the quote says you are still 19 take it slow~ especially marriage. many people jump into it. thats why the divorce rate is so high don't worry, relationships are a two way stream. if you make effort and the other person makes the same effort then its worth the wait right Yep I'm a 96 but even my friends whom are younger than me are also in committed relationship. I just feel like I'm way too slow in it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xharuharux 2,487 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 I can't have any pets since I live with my parents and we have a takeaway so.... I just feel the pressure is getting to me. During school I've dated only once but afterwards I just can't seem to find any motivation to find love itself though I would love to get into one.. Just makes me uneasy when I talk face to face How do you define 'wifu' anyway? Yep I'm a 96 but even my friends whom are younger than me are also in committed relationship. I just feel like I'm way too slow in it don't worry, I'm a 94 and same situation as you tbh and I'm living and enjoying life as a singleton haha more money to spend on me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
93605 1,232 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 you're only 18 going on 19, this isn't something you should worry about yet. this'd be a different situation if you were 30 or so but you're still a teenager, work on your own life and goals before thinking about committing to someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussySlayedByTzuyu 7,430 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 aren’t you fuckin 18? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JILLheartsTVXQ 34 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 You're young. Complete your education, do some traveling & settle into a nice job. Enjoy life and don't worry about love. Love might turn up when you least expect it. Most of my friends have kids, are engaged or married, but I'm not worried (I'm older than you). I'm sure someone will come along for me, but in the meantime, I'm not gonna stress over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unafraid 187 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 I think your in a good place, you just started uni so your priority should be school. Your young, its okay not to he married or in a committed relationship. Let one develop naturally and take it as it goes instead of rushing into a relationship and marriage because that might not end well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shimjoohyun 1,137 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 honestly i am more shocked with your friends already got engaged/marriage with kid at the age of 19!!!! right now education should be your priority. and then dating if you wanted too, but even if there's none it is normal don't feel pressured. it's your life not theirs, enjoy your uni while you still can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geassu 2,887 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Well, if that can help you, I'm 25 and I'm not engaged, just had 2 gfs on my entire life and nothing more You can't help yourself if you compare with other people, your goal is your goal not other's one, so if you want to get married soon, you'll need to looking for someone, if you think the process of dating is uncomfortable, probably you are not ready to be in one, you need to be comfortable with that person to start a date Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salieri 4,473 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 aren’t you fuckin 18?Coming 19 why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil 139 Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 I understand how you feel, I'm also 18 (turning 19 soon) I do want to find love and such and I still have my virginity and such. I'm worried for not finding someone though due to my past relationships but.. It is good to focus on studies to get an stable job at the same time, we are still pretty young to be honest so there shouldn't be such a rush to get into a relationship, I think that you should try being more social, meet new people. You don't need to try dating websites or anything like that if you are too uncomfortable with that but you could ask friends to introduce you and such or by your own means. Don't worry, you'll find someone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lactosecat 79 Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 it's okay. people flow through life at different speeds. you could be 35, single, unmarried and i'd still say the same. i understand the anxiety of seeing people around you progress so fast and it makes you feel as if you should be doing the same thing. you're probably just wasting your time worrying over matters when you could be spending the time working on yourself. a lot of my friends in their early 20s are in the point of reflecting on their past relationships because they felt as if they wasted two years on nothing when they could be using the time to work on self improvement. that's just food for a thought. you're extremely, extremely young at 19. you are probably tired of people telling you this, but you're so young. you literally have so many opportunities. i would think about it. some people build their families at a later age, and those people aren't any less happy than the ones who start a family at 21. i wouldn't even see this as "waiting for the right one". that still speaks of repressed impatience. just do you and you'll naturally attract people. i'd say people who try to rush things, especially when it comes to relationships aren't going to be met with much success. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boo! 111 Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 A good relationship takes a while to find and its slow building. Don't give into all the social pressure to be in a relationship or have kids or w/e because everyone else is doing it. A lot of people pretend to have good relationships and its really the opposite. A lot other people rush into things and then regret it like friends I have, unfortunately you can't remove a kid from your life once its been born or undo a marriage. Just focus on you and being the best you possible and then relationship and kids and all that stuff will fall into place for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aubybong 26 Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 You're still way ahead of me. At least you're still in college and can meet people. It really is true that if you don't meet someone while in school it's be VERY hard to meet people once you graduate. So if you want to be in a relationship, really look now. I'm 30 and not married, no boyfriend, and no prospects. I'm probably going to die alone This wasn't what I wanted for myself. i feel pampered because of your comment homie (y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aubybong 26 Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 A good relationship takes a while to find and its slow building. Don't give into all the social pressure to be in a relationship or have kids or w/e because everyone else is doing it. A lot of people pretend to have good relationships and its really the opposite. A lot other people rush into things and then regret it like friends I have, unfortunately you can't remove a kid from your life once its been born or undo a marriage. Just focus on you and being the best you possible and then relationship and kids and all that stuff will fall into place for you. it's okay. people flow through life at different speeds. you could be 35, single, unmarried and i'd still say the same. i understand the anxiety of seeing people around you progress so fast and it makes you feel as if you should be doing the same thing. you're probably just wasting your time worrying over matters when you could be spending the time working on yourself. a lot of my friends in their early 20s are in the point of reflecting on their past relationships because they felt as if they wasted two years on nothing when they could be using the time to work on self improvement. that's just food for a thought. you're extremely, extremely young at 19. you are probably tired of people telling you this, but you're so young. you literally have so many opportunities. i would think about it. some people build their families at a later age, and those people aren't any less happy than the ones who start a family at 21. i wouldn't even see this as "waiting for the right one". that still speaks of repressed impatience. just do you and you'll naturally attract people. i'd say people who try to rush things, especially when it comes to relationships aren't going to be met with much success. ^^^ yeah you're young, dongsaeng, dont worry too much. I'm 25 in 2015 and i never ever get hold to a man's hand (except for my male bestie) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.