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Overcoming shyness towards guys


Ghostly

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It seems like i can't concentrate whenever i'm talking to them,also i started to talk fast and stumbled upon my own words.My mind kinda went blank too,like i can't even make a decent conversation going.Makes me feel guilty of not contributing much to the conversation and just end it off when i know that they're really trying.This is even more prominent towards guys that i find slightly attractive.

 

help :(

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hang out with guys more often, eventually it'll just be something normal and not something that makes you nervous. if you feel ashamed of your shyness it'll only get worse, so try not to be too hard on yourself. focus on the topic of the conversation instead of what the person will think or how shy you feel, and have fun. even if you feel like you're embarassing yourself by being awkward or stumbling over your words or something, most people won't think badly about you as long as you're nice and try your best to keep up with the conversation. 

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first, you must know what causes you to be shy. are you self-conscious about something? if you like the guy, are you afraid he might not like you? maybe you should just try to relax and be comfortable. cos if you're talking to them, it's not that bad, it sounds more like you get nervous rather than shy. maybe pick a topic that you have a lot to talk about, that way you'll be able to hold a conversation to some extent. everyone can get shy, as long as you don't concentrate on it and make it a big deal, they won't notice it.

the only way to overcome would be practising though. good luck!

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I went through something similar, the catch is you've gotta stop looking at all guys as romantic possibilities and instead look at them as just people you're friends with. I didn't have any guy friends up until I was 16 (which is pretty old for a co-ed school), but once I treated them like I treat my girl friends, I got plenty. Maybe too many...  :unsure:

 

Another thing is, just be yourself. If you're not at a point where you can comfortably hang out with guys, don't force yourself too much. Baby steps.

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practice

start off with family members/friends/classmates/people you have any sort of connection with so you have something to talk about

 

i even got nervous around a guy who's also my neighbor lol

 

hang out with guys more often, eventually it'll just be something normal and not something that makes you nervous. if you feel ashamed of your shyness it'll only get worse, so try not to be too hard on yourself. focus on the topic of the conversation instead of what the person will think or how shy you feel, and have fun. even if you feel like you're embarassing yourself by being awkward or stumbling over your words or something, most people won't think badly about you as long as you're nice and try your best to keep up with the conversation. 

 

hardest part tbh but you might be right

 

first, you must know what causes you to be shy. are you self-conscious about something? if you like the guy, are you afraid he might not like you? maybe you should just try to relax and be comfortable. cos if you're talking to them, it's not that bad, it sounds more like you get nervous rather than shy. maybe pick a topic that you have a lot to talk about, that way you'll be able to hold a conversation to some extent. everyone can get shy, as long as you don't concentrate on it and make it a big deal, they won't notice it.

the only way to overcome would be practising though. good luck!

 

i'm a self conscious person in general and thnx

 

You want to talk with them but are you sure they want to talk with you?

 

well they're the one who walked to my table

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I went through something similar, the catch is you've gotta stop looking at all guys as romantic possibilities and instead look at them as just people you're friends with. I didn't have any guy friends up until I was 16 (which is pretty old for a co-ed school), but once I treated them like I treat my girl friends, I got plenty. Maybe too many...  :unsure:

 

Another thing is, just be yourself. If you're not at a point where you can comfortably hang out with guys, don't force yourself too much. Baby steps.

 

weird thing is even they're not attractive to me i still got awkward,it's just that guys are wayy too alien for me

 

 

i know you guys are right tho,i just couldn't kick out the nervousness yet

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i even got nervous around a guy who's also my neighbor lol

 

 

hardest part tbh but you might be right

 

 

i'm a self conscious person in general and thnx

 

 

well they're the one who walked to my table

Well this was a question just. I'm sometimes being misunderstood but I am very nice. You are probably very young so things will change in the future. I've heard women reach their highest level of emotional stability around age 30. : - (

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Well this was a question just. I'm sometimes being misunderstood but I am very nice. You are probably very young so things will change in the future. I've heard women reach their highest level of emotional stability around age 30. : - (

 

oh.. hopefully i'll get better with time,seems like i'm way behind all the girls rn ahha

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I think it would be best not forcing yourself if you feel that uncomfortable but also you shouldn't stop trying, so trying starting with small conversations. Also it would help trying to talk with the same guy rather with different people and of course it would be best if you could identify someone you want to be friends with.

 

I don't know if this might help you but I consider myself a reserved person and when I was younger I also had problems talking with the opposite sex (girls) and with strangers in general. So in my case I feel somewhat uncomfortable and annoyed with loud people in big groups or people that I barely know and are too friendly so in those situations I would barely speak. However I feel more comfortable when I'm with more quiet and relaxed persons than hang by themselves. So maybe a certain type of person and environment could improve your situation.  

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It's probably been said already but talking to guys every other day will help your case. I haven't read over the thread so I'm not sure if you've explained it or not, but I feel like being shy around a certain gender typically means you distance yourself from them. If you break that habit and welcome it more, you'll eventually overcome whatever shyness you have.

 

Most people are understanding enough that they won't look down on you or something because you're shy and have a hard time coming up with things to say. If you can accept that it's a work in progress, you should have no issues with it =)

 

Also just a suggestion: Talking to guys online might make it easier for you to practice. In person, there's more to communicating than just through words. Someone with a shy personality tends to struggle with that, but online there's not much else but verbal communication. If that's what your primary goal is, just chatting with them will be a pretty decent help. Just be sure you make yourself aware they're guys!! It's easy to not pay attention at all to someone's gender online so lol

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