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I wrote a poem for a contest tell me what you think please ?


Jela

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When the skies and the grounds were one,

the legends, through their twelve forces, nurtured the tree of life.

 

An eye of red force created the evil

which coveted the heart of tree of life,

and the heart slowly grew dry.

 

To tend and embrace the heart of tree of life,

the legends hereby divide the tree in half and hide each side.

 

Hence, time is over-turned and space turns askew.

The twelve forces divide into two

and create two suns that look alike into two worlds that seem alike.

 

The legends travel apart.

The legends shall now see the same sky but shall stand on different grounds,

shall stand on the same ground but shall see different skies.

 

The day the grounds be kept a single file before one sky in two worlds that seem alike,

the legends will greet each other.

 

The day the red force is purified, the twelve forces will reunite into one perfect root,

a new world shall open up.

 

I spent a lot of time on this, I really hope I'll win

So what do you think ? 

Are there things i should change ? :)  

 

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What exactly is the point of your poem? It seems like a narrative, I'm guessing? Or the beginning of an epic. You should try your hand at limericks and make one about exo xoxo  :chu:

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What exactly is the point of your poem? It seems like a narrative, I'm guessing? Or the beginning of an epic. You should try your hand at limericks and make one about exo xoxo  :chu:

i was aiming for epic yes. limericks are too complicated and why would i write a poem about exo ?

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i was aiming for epic yes. limericks are too complicated and why would i write a poem about exo ?

 

To proclaim your love in a funny way? Idk I see your sig, dp, badges are all exo  :derp:

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