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I need your advice please ��


taro

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I've been dating this guy for a while...

I've noticed that he always mentioned his exes, for ex. in these short stories and it bothered me but I never said anything because I didn't want to look crazy. Eventually I felt so paranoid that he still had feelings for her, that I had a dream she came back and he left me for her. I told him to stop mentioning them after he asked me if I would like to meet one of his exes, which made me very uncomfortable. I was content until he kept changing plans and leaving me hanging for our scheduled dates... So I decided to confront him... I planned to do it today when we were alone, but as he was helping a friend at their store, I saw his phone (which is huge) and he had a picture with a girl standing side his side... I panicked so I asked him right then and there who she was, and he told me she was an ex, I asked him why he it was on his phone...and he said he was staring at it while he was eating(???). I walked out the store, because I felt awful and I couldn't make a scene in front of the customers.... I've seen 2 other pictures like this, one was a Polaroid at his bedside and the other was the cover photo for a song... He chased after me and explained that he looks at his photos all the time to reminisce and that he has no feelings for them (rigght) and that he's not cheating. Okay so what do you guys think, normal behavior or strange? Obvious answer right? I can't just get myself to break up with him... What should I do... I really like him :( :'(

 

 

Edit: sorry this is really long

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Not normal.  I don't like to tell people what to do with their lives, but if you want an honest opinion - dump him.  No one reminisces about their exes obsessively like that unless they still have feelings, or at least still want to play the field.  If you did that to him, I'm sure he'd be pissed.  He sounds like an ass hat honestly (no offense).  I would dump him.  Don't let someone disrespect you like that. 

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Hello, Hobi. ^^

 

I'll tell you what I think based on my own experience, but of course I could easily be wrong.

He sounds like he's not over his ex and like he still misses her. I think talking about her in the manner that you mention sounds strange; I would never bother to go on about my ex in such a way to a new significant other unless it was really relevant or they asked about it, nor would I want my significant other to keep bringing up their ex. And I sure as hell wouldn't wanna meet theirs nor would I offer my new SO to meet my ex.

 

It sounds like he's not ready for a new relationship and needs to work out his feelings he clearly has left over for the past. If I were you, I'd suggest to him to take a break from your current relationship, or simply end it now if it's making you feel strong waves of anger/sadness/other bad emotions.

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Hello, Hobi. ^^

 

I'll tell you what I think based on my own experience, but of course I could easily be wrong.

He sounds like he's not over his ex and like he still misses her. I think talking about her in the manner that you mention sounds strange; I would never bother to go on about my ex in such a way to a new significant other unless it was really relevant or they asked about it, nor would I want my significant other to keep bringing up their ex. And I sure as hell wouldn't wanna meet theirs nor would I offer my new SO to meet my ex.

 

It sounds like he's not ready for a new relationship and needs to work out his feelings he clearly has left over for the past. If I were you, I'd suggest to him to take a break from your current relationship, or simply end it now if it's making you feel strong waves of anger/sadness/other bad emotions.

thank you so much for your advice, I appreciate it : )

I just wanted some more opinions besides my friends because they already hate him LOL

I'm obviously just denying it but I have to face the truth now...

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Tell him to get rid of the photo's of his EX's & if he can't he's not the right guy for you  :hoplz:

basically, as harsh as it sounds it's a good indication of whether he can move on and continue his relationship with you without mentioning his ex. if he can't then you'll know that his heart is not completely in this relationship and you shouldn't have to deal with guy who obviously has interests elsewhere. plus it's quite inconsiderate to constantly talk about your exes when they've explained they're uncomfortable with it and if it continues you should just dump him. hope that will help out and good luck!

RnY0k0g.gif

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basically, as harsh as it sounds it's a good indication of whether he can move on and continue his relationship with you without mentioning his ex. if he can't then you'll know that his heart is not completely in this relationship and you shouldn't have to deal with guy who obviously has interests elsewhere. plus it's quite inconsiderate to constantly talk about your exes when they've explained they're uncomfortable with it and if it continues you should just dump him. hope that will help out and good luck!

RnY0k0g.gif

thanks I asked him right now and I am waiting for his response...
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You told him to get rid of the photos, right? So now pay attention to his response. If he tries to convince you to let him keep the photos OR if he agrees but don't show you that he indeed got rid of these photos, then you should leave this boat. I would say that you should "leave the boat" anyways, but that's not as easy as we say. Just... pay a lot of attention on how he's going to behave now, that's the final answer that you need. 

 

I don't think he's cheating on you, he apparently just can't move on... And that's a problem too. 

 

 

And, I think you should ask him what he feels, ok, that can be hurtful but better than keep deluding yourself. Just ask and see what you get, but I think you should ask that face to face, it's easier to see if he's going to lie or not. 

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You should just leave him and I think there's no need for you to stand that behavior. Even if they were not his exes he just don't seem very committed to you and he either lacks some common sense or just doesn't care enough for you.

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My advice, trust people by their action, not by their words. If his action doesnt match up with what he's saying then that's a big problem.

 

He won't, my heart is broken
I need someone to hug me

 

Aw honey  :cry:

 

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My advice, trust people by their action, not by their words. If his action doesnt match up with what he's saying then that's a big problem.

 

 

 

Aw honey  :cry:

 

giphy.gif

  

I'm really sorry. You really weren't asking all that much of him and it's inconsiderate that he didn't respect such a normal and simple request. I hope you feel better soon <3

 

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thank you guys, I sincerely appreciate it
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