[KB] Study Shows Korean Women Not Happy in Marriage Long-term

[Kaleidoscope]

Study Shows Korean Women Only Happy in First Two Years of Marriage

 

 

A study has shown that Korean women’s level of happiness decreases after 2 years of marriage to the same level they experience before marriage.

 

On April 2, according to a paper by two researchers from Korea University: Professor Robert Rudolph from the International Department, and Professor Kang Seong-jin from the Economics Department, women’s level of satisfaction with marriage disappears after two years, Professor Rudolph’s team used information from the Korea Labor Panel for their study, including data on 1000 people’s perceptions of their first marriage before and after getting married, and data from 200 people before and after getting divorced.

In the first year of marriage, couples reach their maximum level of satisfaction, with men’e levels increasing 0.3 points, and women’s levels increasing by 0.25 points.

The study shows that for women, this increase drops back to pre-marriage levels two years after being married, while for men, their satisfaction levels stay at 0.15~0.2 points above their pre-marriage rates throughout marriage.

 

Additionally, for couples who are divorced, or where one partner is deceased, compared to women, men’s levels of happiness drop swiftly, and it is not as easy for them to recover from the loss.

 

Professor Rudolph said, “For Korean couples, they are not able to equally divide the gains of marriage, meaning they have a high level of gender inequality.†“In contrast, our study shows that couples in England and Germany were able to equally divide the gains of marriage.â€

This study was published in January’s edition of the “Feminist Economice.â€

 

Source: http://www.koreabang.com/2015/stories/study-shows-korean-women-unhappy-after-2-years-of-marriage.html

 

Comments from Naver:

aaja**** : Rather than the right man, it’s important for women to meet the right in-laws. Before marriage, if you don’t like your in-laws, it’s better not to get married

 

 

prim****: In just a little bit, this will become a battlefield [between male and female netizens arguing with each other].

 

 

rjae****:Whether you’re a woman or a man, if you think you will not be happy getting married, then don’t. You’ll make things difficult for each other.

 

 

mins****:In reality, no matter how you try to divide the household work between husband and wife after marriage, the wife will end up getting involved with all of it. I don’t like cleaning up after others…As a woman, this would be the end for me, and I would have to sacrifice everything for my family…the conclusion is that I will remain single. I need to make a lot of money.

 

 

wlsd****: It’s more of a benefit not to get married

 

 

gise****: You have to pay back loans together….Even if both are working, the wife has to take care of the birth and childcare. She has to go to the in-laws for ancestral rites and holidays… If her parents are rich and she spends lots of money, [her in-laws] will say sh*t about it. If her family is poor, they will say she is uneducated. If she is competent, they will say the husband is intimidated. If she leans on the man, they will say she is not good enough for their son…kekekekeke I would never try to win their heart.

 

 

tini****: I am five years into marriage. I want to live with my mom.

 

 

minj****: Just seeing my mom..ke she graduated from college, and left her good job as a high school teacher to have me and my young sibling. She doesn’t get any praise for doing household chores, or any money, and just labors on day after day. She doesn’t have self-esteem. Recently, she said her life was ruined. As I grew up seeing mom like that, I don’t have an inch of illusions about marriage at all

 

 

see0****: Women lose the most when it comes to marriage. It’s a difficult road to walk. Think carefully before you make the decision.

 

 

hong****: Live by yourself. You won’t be happy getting married, it just makes things more difficult.

 

 

tmdq****: Taking care of your husband, your kids, your in-laws~ there is no more respect for yourself. sad~~

 

 

evek****: The reality of marriage…make food, take care of kids, clean up, make food, take care of kids, clean up, and then make..

[Jcey]

I will NOT get Married.

 

 

(Unless its to Kris and Jr. For them I am willing to Climb Mt Everest)

[h0neanias]

Sadly, not surprised.

[Azero]

Every woman that goes to university and makes a bachelor/master/doctor and stops working after getting married is a stupid woman.

Never lose your independence. Never!

[timpa]

Not a shock. Most Korean men view the wife as a servant they acquire for the rest of their lives.

[bluesclues]

That's the sad reality. Women usually get put on the back burner because they're too busy caring for their families at that point. 

 

I'm not surprised that so many women are unhappy, promises aren't kept and  expectations aren't met (by husband especially) and you yourself forget to put yourself at a priority because you're now supposed to be this selfless being who tends to everyone else's needs and wants and then have to hear them complain at you for doing so.

[PsychoLotus]

Every woman that goes to university and makes a bachelor/master/doctor and stops working after getting married is a stupid woman.

Never lose your independence. Never!

preach!

[Unnie-Oppa-Senpai-Chan]

T

[Substation]

Not a shock. Most Korean men view the wife as a servant they acquire for the rest of their lives.

 

Except that most Korean women view the husband as a money-making machine they acquire for the rest of their lives.

[。Beach Angel 。]

extremely depressing.. 

[Unnie-Oppa-Senpai-Chan]

X

[EVA02]

Yup, not getting married

[Slowpoke X]

Every woman that goes to university and makes a bachelor/master/doctor and stops working after getting married is a stupid woman.

Never lose your independence. Never!

 

well, some women like being housewives, anything is possible tbh

[sane]

Marriage and parenthood are generally difficult, thankless roles for both parties. Women aren't the only ones who have it hard, they just have it hard in ways that they find more difficult to be satisfied with.

 

I think it basically comes down to two main problems. The first is how men are more easily satisfied than women in general. After a couple years if the relationship has "settled" and there's no more upward momentum, a man will think "alright, stability! Now my life can begin for real!" and a woman will think "ugh, stagnation, my life is officially over". Men want to find a comfortable place to settle, but women want their men to keep breaking their backs reaching for the stars. If you don't find a healthy balance between these two conflicting desires, it creates a lot of tension and one or both parties is gonna end up unhappy. In Korea the situation is unfortunate because even if the man is overworking himself he's still unlikely to make satisfactory progress in his career, which will eventually give his wife a sense of stagnation. She didn't give up her own career to sit around going nowhere, after all; she did it to support (and ride on) his upward momentum.

 

The second is how men's identity is based off of what they do, while women's identity is based off of what they are. When a man becomes a husband and a father, he gains a new identity and a new life. When a woman becomes a wife and a mother, it overshadows her womanhood and robs her of her core identity, and there's much more of a feeling of giving up her old life rather than gaining a new one. Since Korean men don't really care much about helping their wives remember their womanhood after marriage, it only worsens the problem. There's this habit of calling each other "mom" and "dad" once you become parents, too, which starts out cute for both, but for the woman over time it can start to feel like "does he even remember that I'm a woman at all and not just a mother??". This also explains why men are on average much more devastated by the loss of a spouse... to them it was a large part of their identity, while for women it's important to them, but it's just something they're doing, not who they are. Even if they stop being a wife, they'll still have their core identity of "woman" to fall back on. When a man stops being a husband, he needs another really strong identity like "brother" or "father" or something to fall back on, and without it he'll just keep falling.

 

 

 

 

 

Edit: My bad, it must be because Koreans hate women or something. That's always the reason for everything, right? 

[Azero]

well, some women like being housewives, anything is possible tbh

Then you shouldn't waste 10 years of your life in a stuffy classroom from 9am till 10pm and waste a precious university place, that other students would kill for.

[Lillya]

Every woman that goes to university and makes a bachelor/master/doctor and stops working after getting married is a stupid woman.

Never lose your independence. Never!

 

When a Korean woman gets married, she signs up to doing all the household chores and taking care of kids. Because, for a working person it's inappropriate to leave their workplace before their bosses do. So husbands stay late at work all the time. 

Both spouses cannot do that if they have kids.

 

A woman in Korea is welcome to stay at her job but then she's still expected to do all the housework and all things for kids. Not everyone is physically capable of that.

 

An unmarried Korean woman is stigmatized and gets a hell of pressure and emotional "beating" from her family, friends, and colleagues, as an "old maid".

 

It's easy for you to just go and say that, I should guess you haven't tried to imagine what it feels like. For any Korean person the biggest thing in life is their obligations for family and society. It's thanks to THAT mentality that Kpop is so professional and well-crafted.

 

Things are changing little by little though, even in SK. 

[sasuke_uchiha]

Marriage is overrated. It's just another mainstream narrative that doesn't work for everyone.

[KaniPi]

This is pretty much all conservative societies...

[slutty slut]

Marriage and parenthood are generally difficult, thankless roles for both parties. Women aren't the only ones who have it hard, they just have it hard in ways that they find more difficult to be satisfied with.

 

I think it basically comes down to two main problems. The first is how men are more easily satisfied than women in general. After a couple years if the relationship has "settled" and there's no more upward momentum, a man will think "alright, stability! Now my life can begin for real!" and a woman will think "ugh, stagnation, my life is officially over". Men want to find a comfortable place to settle, but women want their men to keep breaking their backs reaching for the stars. If you don't find a healthy balance between these two conflicting desires, it creates a lot of tension and one or both parties is gonna end up unhappy. In Korea the situation is unfortunate because even if the man is overworking himself he's still unlikely to make satisfactory progress in his career, which will eventually give his wife a sense of stagnation. She didn't give up her own career to sit around going nowhere, after all; she did it to support (and ride on) his upward momentum.

 

The second is how men's identity is based off of what they do, while women's identity is based off of what they are. When a man becomes a husband and a father, he gains a new identity and a new life. When a woman becomes a wife and a mother, it overshadows her womanhood and robs her of her core identity, and there's much more of a feeling of giving up her old life rather than gaining a new one. Since Korean men don't really care much about helping their wives remember their womanhood after marriage, it only worsens the problem. There's this habit of calling each other "mom" and "dad" once you become parents, too, which starts out cute for both, but for the woman over time it can start to feel like "does he even remember that I'm a woman at all and not just a mother??". This also explains why men are on average much more devastated by the loss of a spouse... to them it was a large part of their identity, while for women it's important to them, but it's just something they're doing, not who they are. Even if they stop being a wife, they'll still have their core identity of "woman" to fall back on. When a man stops being a husband, he needs another really strong identity like "brother" or "father" or something to fall back on, and without it he'll just keep falling.

stop spewing your own twisted ideas of gender onto the forums

[joylandnationalpark]

Every woman that goes to university and makes a bachelor/master/doctor and stops working after getting married is a stupid woman.

Never lose your independence. Never!

 

Both incredibly shortsighted and disrespectful to say, especially when you're not under the same societal pressures they're under. If you honestly think all women who have to quit their careers to manage their homelives do it while fully willing, you're just as stupid as you say they are.

[WhaleWhisper]

Both of these things.

 

In the west, marriage is a relic of the old paradigm and is nothing but a contract full of liabilities in a culture that's moving towards gender equality. You can see how antiquated it is in how people are treating divorce like it's barely different from breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend. As of 2014, it's estimated that half of marriages end in divorce (USA). It won't be long before MOST of them will.

actually divorces are trending down in the US and also it seems in areas more traditional the divorce rate is higher

Where there is more pressure for women to marry, they are more likely to rush into a marriage with someone that isn't compatible with them. 

[coward]

Then you shouldn't waste 10 years of your life in a stuffy classroom from 9am till 10pm and waste a precious university place, that other students would kill for.

Just because you want to be a house wife doesn't mean that you're education is wasted. You may not get married until after thirty. Should you spend all those years doing dead end jobs that you hate? Out get a degree, go into a field that you enjoy and enjoy the time you spend working? You may not realize that you want to stay at home until after you have kids.

 

Your education is never wasted. And the college experience goes beyond the classroom. Not everyone finds a college class stuffy. Your comment comes off as really ignorant. What works for one does not work for all. Each person has a different path in life.

[coward]

Where there is more pressure for women to marry, they are more likely to rush into a marriage with someone that isn't compatible with them.

This so much. My sister's conservative religious university had a 70% divorce rate amongst could who married within one year of graduation.

[Azero]

When a Korean woman gets married, she signs up to doing all the household chores and taking care of kids. Because, for a working person it's inappropriate to leave their workplace before their bosses do. So husbands stay late at work all the time. 

Both spouses cannot do that if they have kids.

 

A woman in Korea is welcome to stay at her job but then she's still expected to do all the housework and all things for kids. Not everyone is physically capable of that.

 

An unmarried Korean woman is stigmatized and gets a hell of pressure and emotional "beating" from her family, friends, and colleagues, as an "old maid".

 

It's easy for you to just go and say that, I should guess you haven't tried to imagine what it feels like. For any Korean person the biggest thing in life is their obligations for family and society. It's thanks to THAT mentality that Kpop is so professional and well-crafted.

 

Things are changing little by little though, even in SK. 

 

 

Both incredibly shortsighted and disrespectful to say, especially when you're not under the same societal pressures they're under. If you honestly think all women who have to quit their careers to manage their homelives do it while fully willing, you're just as stupid as you say they are.

I am from an asian background and know what pressures they're under. The pressure is big, the thing is if you follow the path, you become unhappy. You are unhappy while being in school, unhappy while in college, unhappy while being married. Everybody tells you what to do. You just follow them and in the end you give up everything for your family, while feeling total useless. If you don't break this circle alone, you will be unhappy for your whole life. The only way to break it is to become independet which a lot of woman give up. And this is stupid in my opinion.

[♥SNS-Shinomiya♥]

Marriage and parenthood are generally difficult, thankless roles for both parties. Women aren't the only ones who have it hard, they just have it hard in ways that they find more difficult to be satisfied with.

 

I think it basically comes down to two main problems. The first is how men are more easily satisfied than women in general. After a couple years if the relationship has "settled" and there's no more upward momentum, a man will think "alright, stability! Now my life can begin for real!" and a woman will think "ugh, stagnation, my life is officially over". Men want to find a comfortable place to settle, but women want their men to keep breaking their backs reaching for the stars. If you don't find a healthy balance between these two conflicting desires, it creates a lot of tension and one or both parties is gonna end up unhappy. In Korea the situation is unfortunate because even if the man is overworking himself he's still unlikely to make satisfactory progress in his career, which will eventually give his wife a sense of stagnation. She didn't give up her own career to sit around going nowhere, after all; she did it to support (and ride on) his upward momentum.

 

The second is how men's identity is based off of what they do, while women's identity is based off of what they are. When a man becomes a husband and a father, he gains a new identity and a new life. When a woman becomes a wife and a mother, it overshadows her womanhood and robs her of her core identity, and there's much more of a feeling of giving up her old life rather than gaining a new one. Since Korean men don't really care much about helping their wives remember their womanhood after marriage, it only worsens the problem. There's this habit of calling each other "mom" and "dad" once you become parents, too, which starts out cute for both, but for the woman over time it can start to feel like "does he even remember that I'm a woman at all and not just a mother??". This also explains why men are on average much more devastated by the loss of a spouse... to them it was a large part of their identity, while for women it's important to them, but it's just something they're doing, not who they are. Even if they stop being a wife, they'll still have their core identity of "woman" to fall back on. When a man stops being a husband, he needs another really strong identity like "brother" or "father" or something to fall back on, and without it he'll just keep falling.

   well that is a fair point