LaFlo 25 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 I just came back home from a biological competition. I studied a lot, A LOT, but my score was quite low. And now, my parents don't even want to talk to me... It's usually like that when I don't get straight A or perfect score at test. They only said that I won't be going on competitions any more because I embarrassed both them and myself... They terrorized me because of school ever since I was young... I love school and I enjoy studying, but I went to school with fear for many years. Only now, when I'm old enough to think for myself, I realized that I should do what I enjoy doing and that I should do it without fear of anyone's opinion! I realized that my parents have complexes because they haven't finished any school. I also know that they are going to regret everything later, but I don't think I'll be able to forgive them, even though I love them a lot... So..... I don't really know what's the point of this post. Guess I just needed to share my feeling with someone. I'm sure I'm not a lonely case... unfortunately... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lipslocked 3,780 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 wow, you must be under a lot of pressure and stress :( have you approached a counselor? he/she might help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thotcahontas 5,149 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Ummm at your parents..... remind them that because of shit like this students are literally suiciding left and right.. ask them if you suicide if they'll be happy then and remind them you're only human not a machine and that you can't always win everytime... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaFlo 25 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 wow, you must be under a lot of pressure and stress :( have you approached a counselor? he/she might help you. I really have a need to talk with someone, but here were I live there is a lot of stigma about going to psychologist. People think that it is reserved for "crazy people". Besides, my school psychologist wouldn't listen to me, so I don't know where to go and with whom to speak... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Choco 1,199 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Your parents sound a bit harsh >.> My parents were like that at first but you just need to show them how hard your working or maybe tell them to realize that your trying your best. I had depression because of stress in school. I wasn't a first generation so they expected even more from me. My brother did really well in school. I had a couple advanced classes and I never made the high honor roll once at all (maybe in like 1Q of 9th grade; when I was in 10th I got a 33 on my algebra test once). My parents didn't like that at all and I got scolded often. They realized how hard I was trying since I'd use to stay at the library til 4 or 5PM working for a B in my classes. Then they just stopped talking about it and asked me if I wanted to cut down on sports or if I wanted a rest. Have you ever told them they're upsetting you? Remind them you are human with a different personality and needs and not just a student. They need to see that you need to be encouraged and nurtured rather than intimidated and threatened or scolded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heethighs 807 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 My parents have always been pretty chill with my studies because they know I push myself enough for it. As for your case, I think it'll be great if you could have a talk with them, let them know that you're trying your best, and maybe ask to sign up for classes to help yourself with the particular subjects? All the best in whatever you intend to do after this, don't ever give up on your studies! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaFlo 25 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 Your parents sound a bit harsh >.> My parents were like that at first but you just need to show them how hard your working or maybe tell them to realize that your trying your best. I had depression because of stress in school. I wasn't a first generation so they expected even more from me. My brother did really well in school. I had a couple advanced classes and I never made the high honor roll once at all (maybe in like 1Q of 9th grade; when I was in 10th I got a 33 on my algebra test once). My parents didn't like that at all and I got scolded often. They realized how hard I was trying since I'd use to stay at the library til 4 or 5PM working for a B in my classes. Then they just stopped talking about it and asked me if I wanted to cut down on sports or if I wanted a rest. Have you ever told them they're upsetting you? Remind them you are human with a different personality and needs and not just a student. They need to see that you need to be encouraged and nurtured rather than intimidated and threatened or scolded. I think they know that it is hard, but sometimes they can't help themselves! They simply have complexes. And trying to talk is useless. For them my hardships are only excuses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaFlo 25 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 My parents have always been pretty chill with my studies because they know I push myself enough for it. As for your case, I think it'll be great if you could have a talk with them, let them know that you're trying your best, and maybe ask to sign up for classes to help yourself with the particular subjects? All the best in whatever you intend to do after this, don't ever give up on your studies! Oh no, I'm not giving up. I don't have problems in any subject. Schooling system is a bit different in Serbia. Highest grade is 5 and lowest is 1. We have exams from some subject almost every day. And we don't have a choice, everybody has to take 15 subjects, from math to Latin language. I usually manage to have 5 in every subject. But if you want to know more you have to go on "competitions" and go to certain extra classes for gifted students. I enjoy most of these things, but problem is fear and stress that my parents cause. I want to stop fearing. I feel that I'd be able to do even better if I could stop fearing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Choco 1,199 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 I think they know that it is hard, but sometimes they can't help themselves! They simply have complexes. And trying to talk is useless. For them my hardships are only excuses. Parents are like that, they only want the best. Show them you are trying. If they can't be helped then you really should talk to them often and stress that you aren't appreciating all the "encouragements" they are giving you. I mean if you're scared because of them then that's not a well balanced relationship. I learned it in pysch (which I never thought would be useful) that if a child is fearful, they can't always be honest to their parent because of the fear You really need to talk to them if its affecting you P.S I took Latin too =.= It's a freaking pain isn't it? =.= all those declensions and conjugations and freaking exceptions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaFlo 25 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 Parents are like that, they only want the best. Show them you are trying. If they can't be helped then you really should talk to them often and stress that you aren't appreciating all the "encouragements" they are giving you. I mean if you're scared because of them then that's not a well balanced relationship. I learned it in pysch (which I never thought would be useful) that if a child is fearful, they can't always be honest to their parent because of the fear You really need to talk to them if its affecting you P.S I took Latin too =.= It's a freaking pain isn't it? =.= all those declensions and conjugations and freaking exceptions Your advices truly are helpful! You could be a psychologist And Latin!...... I thought it's hard... and then we started learning syntax... hell, true hell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Choco 1,199 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Your advices truly are helpful! You could be a psychologist And Latin!...... I thought it's hard... and then we started learning syntax... hell, true hell! Thanks! even though i suck in pysch For Latin, my strategy is just to remember the vocab because i hate latin so i dun care about anything else in it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grumpybiscuit 46 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 my parents are just like that...they can be quite nasty with their words and the words like 'stupid', 'ugly' and 'just die cos you will never succeed in life'. i grew up pretty sensitive with people around me, and i try to work my ass off to make them proud of me. but really, i can't study something i am not interested in. things i love i do well. and i do so well that i am now doing my own business. i am a rebel and the blacksheep of the family. all the others are doctors or lawyers. some went to harvard and oxford, you name it. at this moment, i just can't be bothered with how they viewed me. not a good example of an advice but if you could talk to them, go ahead. let them know how you feel. i can't be bothered with mine when they told me to go to hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sapphicsunmi 2,714 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 I really have a need to talk with someone, but here were I live there is a lot of stigma about going to psychologist. People think that it is reserved for "crazy people". Besides, my school psychologist wouldn't listen to me, so I don't know where to go and with whom to speak... Omg.. Do you have any friends thank are going trou the same thing? maybe you can talk to them... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nowhere Boy 2,431 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Not sure if I'm lucky or not.. but my parents aren't that strict about school. They don't freak out if I don't get that good of grades or something. They just want me to go and finish High School. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaFlo 25 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 my parents are just like that...they can be quite nasty with their words and the words like 'stupid', 'ugly' and 'just die cos you will never succeed in life'. i grew up pretty sensitive with people around me, and i try to work my ass off to make them proud of me. but really, i can't study something i am not interested in. things i love i do well. and i do so well that i am now doing my own business. i am a rebel and the blacksheep of the family. all the others are doctors or lawyers. some went to harvard and oxford, you name it. at this moment, i just can't be bothered with how they viewed me. not a good example of an advice but if you could talk to them, go ahead. let them know how you feel. i can't be bothered with mine when they told me to go to hell. That is terrible!!! I honestly want to slap some parents until they came to their senses. I mean, is it more important to be alive or to have good grades! How many children commit suicide because of their parents? You and me, we are maybe not that sensitive, but some kids are going through living hell because of their parents! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clownny 179 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Razgovaraj sa njima o školi,ocenama i reci im šta misliš o njihovom detinjastom ponašanju.Verovatno ćete se posvađati,ali oni neće shvatiti da njihovo ponašanje nije u redu sve dok im ti to ne kažeš Bori se za sebe Sigurno nećeš uspeti iz prvog razgovora,ali budi uporan/uporna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaFlo 25 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 Razgovaraj sa njima o školi,ocenama i reci im šta misliš o njihovom detinjastom ponašanju.Verovatno ćete se posvađati,ali oni neće shvatiti da njihovo ponašanje nije u redu sve dok im ti to ne kažeš Bori se za sebe Sigurno nećeš uspeti iz prvog razgovora,ali budi uporan/uporna Heej cao Hvala za savet. Zaista, pokusala sam im objasniti par puta i svaki put su se naljutili. Uvek je tu onaj cuveni izgovor "to je za tvoje dobro"... Ali borim se i ne odustajem! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bananabrows 2,169 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 it's because they care about your future, but you should definitely talk to them about it. it's not like you want to quit studying, so just tell them you think you could do better if they stopped criticizing you so harshly. my parents are sorta the opposite tbh. they expect me to do well, but dont really ask about my grades or punish me bc of them. i guess it's fine because i put enough pressure on myself to get good grades but i think i could do a lot better with more discipline... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyorris 84 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Ive been threatened to be kicked out of the house if I didnt get good grades in my Uni entrance exam., thankfully I didnt, but if I had a bad mark, I wouldnt hear the end of it.. but at the same time they encouraged me and wont give me the silent treatment. Maybe the reason why theyre pushing you to be at your best is because, of their experiences.. they dont want you to end up struggling like they did (if they did) as a consequence for not finishing school.. the best thing to do is talk to them about it, let them know, whether they like it or not.. theyll understand, even if they say they wont but theyll come around.. smile always Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean Grey 2,400 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 No offence to anyone, but some of yours parents are acting horrible. I know education is important but when you feel depressed I think it's too much presion to handle. Me and my mom are more like friends (I don't have contact with my dad so screw him). My mom encouraged me to study things I like and don't care about the rest. I hated maths and physics and I had terrible grades in these subjects. I focused on literature and english instead. You don't have to be perfect in everything. Now I am on University of my dreams, majoring in something I really want to study. And by the way friend from Serbia we have the same schooling system and I can understand some Serbian words which you used. That's cool hahah ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all-them-pies 654 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 relatable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherry yuuki 458 Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 I understand. And I'm glad you now realize that it's mostly important to do what you enjoy and not what your parents tell you to. My mom used to be a lot more strict in grade school, but she's become more lenient and understanding ever since I started college, mostly with classes I struggle with such as college algebra, biology, etc. so I don't feel as pressured, at least not from anything she says. That doesn't mean I have it easy if I do badly but her comprehension makes things a lot easier and I appreciate that. I'm also very glad that she finally accepted my career goals as opposed to constantly suggesting things that she wanted because in the end, we'll be the ones doing the work, not our parents. Good luck now and in the future! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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