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NYTimes: "A Year After Sewol Ferry Tragedy, Peace Is Elusive for South Korean City"


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http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/16/world/asia/sewol-ferry-disaster-anniversary-finds-south-korean-city-still-bewildered.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=photo-spot-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news

 

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Photos, flowers, letters, and gifts are left on vicitims' desks in a classroom at Danwon High School. (Lee Jin-man/Associated Press)

 

 

MARTIN FACKLER APRIL 15, 2015

ANSAN, South Korea — The classrooms where the dead students once studied sit empty, as they have since Danwon High School lost nearly three­quarters of its 11th graders to a ferry disaster a year ago. School cafeteria menus for April 2014 hang on the walls. Desks are piled high with offerings from grieving parents and friends: flowers, favorite snacks and notes.

 

“Sae­hyeon, this is Dad. I will never forget you,†read one message on a desk bearing the photo of a smiling teenage girl. “I am so sorry that I was not there to save you.â€

 

The name Ansan means “peaceful mountain,†but as this gritty industrial city prepares to mark the anniversary on Thursday of the ferry sinking, it is clear that Ansan is far from finding solace. Instead, it remains frozen in time.

 

The city of 760,000 still seems bewildered, unsure of whether, or how, to move on after the deaths of 250 students and 11 teachers. Individual suffering still radiates into the community, where a collective, haunting sadness has taken hold. Restaurants, once bustling, have lost about a third of their business; many people feel they should not have fun when so many of their neighbors are in mourning.

 

Among the parents, there is paralyzing grief, but also a rage that makes healing out of the question for now. Yearlong investigations suggest that the tragedy was avoidable, the result of corporate greed and lax government oversight. The families, and their community, live with the memory of some of the children’s last moments, recovered in shaky hand­held cellphone videos that document their panic as they realize the crew’s instructions to remain below deck might have doomed them.

 
Some say that a type of shared paranoia has set in. Students at the middle school next door to Danwon High School say school leaders have become so anxious about keeping them safe that they have halted all school trips, like the one that the high school students were on when the ferry Sewol sank, and have even banned children from running in the hallways.
 
“There is talk of recovery, but we are still far from that,†said Ansan’s mayor, Je Jong­geel, who wore a black tie of mourning as his city began a week of events to mark the sinking.
 
Eom Ji­-young lost her 16-­year­-old daughter in the tragedy.
 
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A relative of a victim of the Sewol disaster during a visit on Wednesday to the site of where the ferry sank off South Korea. (Pool photo by Ed Jones)
 
Like many of the devastated parents, Ms. Eom says she still drinks herself to sleep several nights a week. She took a year off from work to protest against the government and spend time with her remaining child, an 11-­year-­old son, because of her regrets that her job had kept her from spending more time with her daughter, Park Yae­ji. A year after the sinking, her life is nowhere near normal.
 
Her son still misses the sister who took care of him while his mother worked; he goes to school, but refuses to leave his bedroom much once he returns. Her husband is one of the fathers who regularly visit the town’s memorial site — with its wall of photos of the children and other victims — to do what they feel they cannot in front of their wives and remaining children. They drink stiff Korean alcohol, then sob on one another’s shoulders.
 
Ms. Eom has returned to work as a manager of a home­repair store, but she can sometimes barely finish her commute, pulling her car over to the side of the road when sobs overcome her.
 
What keeps her going are the protests to hold the government accountable for failing to rescue the children — the coast guard did not make a serious effort to reach the trapped students — but also to demand a deeper investigation of the collusive ties between industry and government at the heart of the disaster. Without that, they say, there will be no justice for the children whom they believe were betrayed by the adults who were supposed to protect them.
 
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Relatives mourned victims of the Sewol tragedy during a visit on Wednesday to the site of the tragedy off the coast of the southern island of Jindo. (Pool photo by Ed Jones)
 
“ ‘Acceptance’ and ‘healing’ are not in our vocabulary,†said Ms. Eom, 38, a formerly shy woman who has been transformed by the loss of her daughter into a vocal activist. “I have friends who wake up in a panic at night and run all the way to the school to look for their children.â€
 
The deaths have become a terrible burden for this city of mainly bluecollar workers an hour southwest of Seoul that was built in the 1980s out of farmland, and where factories today stamp out auto parts and electronics.
 
Danwon High School has recovered enough that students’ laughter and shouting once again fill the hallways. But the dead children’s absence remains a constant, not only in the silent classrooms dedicated to their memory, but throughout the city.
 
Outside the school, rows of identical high­rise apartment blocks hang bright yellow banners bearing solemn, often poetic odes to the perished students: “Buds that never blossomed, we will not forget you,†proclaims one.
 
A few blocks away, above an Internet cafe that the students once frequented, another memorial has sprung up, sponsored by local governments. Called “The Children’s Room,†it is an exhibit of more than 50 photos of the empty bedrooms of the students who died. The intimate look at loss shows beds covered with teddy bears, and desks stacked with books left undisturbed.
 
The exhibit’s director, Kim Jong­cheon, 42, a filmmaker who lives in Ansan, said the photos showed how each death had ripped a hole not only in a family, but also in the community. He said he had hoped the photos would get the neighborhood, called Gojan 1, talking about the losses, and thus start the healing process.
 
“This is a wounded community, where everybody knew these children,†he said.
 
One of the photos showed the bedroom of Yae­ji, Ms. Eom’s daughter, and the piano that she had practiced on every evening while her mother cooked dinner. “Now I will never hear that again,†said Ms. Eom, who said her daughter had been her best friend.
 
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Like many of the grieving parents, Eom Ji-young says she still drinks herself to sleep several nights a week. (Woohae Cho for the New York Times)
 
Ms. Eom admits to engaging in self­-deception when the sense of loss feels too great. She tells herself that Yae­ji has gone abroad to study. But then her eyes fall on some detail in her family’s cramped apartment — a childhood photo, a school name tag, the piano — and the harsh reality comes rushing back.
 
She said that she and other grieving parents do not keep in touch with the parents of children who survived; they are afraid of burdening those already traumatized teenagers with their sadness. But Ms. Eom also finds it hard to relate to old friends from before the accident, so she spends her time with other parents who lost their children, especially her fellow protesters.
 
“We have become very close,†said Ms. Eom, whose smartphone chirped repeatedly with messages from other parents. “We all know that healing cannot start for a long time, at least until we have answers.â€
 
Soon, the disconnect with other neighbors might become more glaring. Ansan’s mayor, Mr. Je, said that while the city has supported the parents by providing protesters with meals and umbrellas, many residents were starting to feel that dwelling too much on grief would actually delay Ansan’s recovery.
 
After this week’s anniversary, he said, the city would try to find a new balance between “sorrow and recovery.†It is holding a street ­performance fair next month that will be the community’s first upbeat event since the tragedy.
 
“Ansan is not the most affluent town in Korea, so we have only humble incomes to carry out our lives,†Mr. Je said. “Everyone has a right to be upset, but we also cannot just let our city collapse.â€
 
Su­Hyun Lee contributed reporting.
 
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I hope the families get the justice they deserve and finally get the chance to move on. I know the probability of the government taking responsibility is slim to none, but these students deserve to get recognize.

...tsk im crying now...

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This is still very sad... 

 

i know they do things their own way in their own culture... but... this type of grieving i feel like... is not good for anyone.

 

If i lived in Ansan, i feel like i'd have moved elsewhere by now... what with businesses barely surviving and constant reminders plastered everywhere...protests... not because anyone wants to heal...but because they are stuck in the process of grief. 

It would all be way too depressing and unhealthy imo. I feel like without embracing some sort of counseling and psychotherapy...these parents can protest forever against everything...get exactly what they want, whatever that is now, and still, wake up miserable for the rest of their lives. I don't think any of them will ever mend, because they don't know how to it looks like.

 

All quite tragic.

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This is still very sad... 

 

i know they do things their own way in their own culture... but... this type of grieving i feel like... is not good for anyone.

 

If i lived in Ansan, i feel like i'd have moved elsewhere by now... what with businesses barely surviving and constant reminders plastered everywhere...protests... not because anyone wants to heal...but because they are stuck in the process of grief. 

 

It would all be way too depressing and unhealthy imo. I feel like without embracing some sort of counseling and psychotherapy...these parents can protest forever against everything...get exactly what they want, whatever that is now, and still, wake up miserable for the rest of their lives. I don't think any of them will ever mend, because they don't know how to it looks like.

 

All quite tragic.

 

I agree. Wallowing in sadness and grief will do no good. The best way the parents can honor their children's memories is by living well.

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This is still very sad... 

 

i know they do things their own way in their own culture... but... this type of grieving i feel like... is not good for anyone.

 

If i lived in Ansan, i feel like i'd have moved elsewhere by now... what with businesses barely surviving and constant reminders plastered everywhere...protests... not because anyone wants to heal...but because they are stuck in the process of grief. 

It would all be way too depressing and unhealthy imo. I feel like without embracing some sort of counseling and psychotherapy...these parents can protest forever against everything...get exactly what they want, whatever that is now, and still, wake up miserable for the rest of their lives. I don't think any of them will ever mend, because they don't know how to it looks like.

 

All quite tragic.

I found one part of this article pretty interesting. One of the mothers described how she couldn't relate to any of her old friends and parents of survivors because she, and other grieving parents didn't want to burden them. So all the grieving parents have developed some sort of exclusive support system. I think that in itself makes sense because it's just so common for people to bond over loss, but it's definitely a big sign that their wounds aren't healing. That very mother is still a parent for her living son, so there's a growing importance for mental wellness and cherishing the family she still has in the name of her daughter.
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I found one part of this article pretty interesting. One of the mothers described how she couldn't relate to any of her old friends and parents of survivors because she, and other grieving parents didn't want to burden them. So all the grieving parents have developed some sort of exclusive support system. I think that in itself makes sense because it's just so common for people to bond over loss, but it's definitely a big sign that their wounds aren't healing. That very mother is still a parent for her living son, so there's a growing importance for mental wellness and cherishing the family she still has in the name of her daughter.

 

Most of these parents are completely stuck in time, understandably. 

Even I feel like one year has passed by way too quick since this happened, it's almost crazy how fast time has moved. 

 

I remember this documentary I watched, where parents were on standby during the golden hours where rescue teams should have been vigorously moving to save the passengers, but were idly cruising, eating noodles and doing literally nothing. (Plus, they were blatantly lying to the guardian's faces and the media that they were sweating blood trying to save the passengers). The parents probably blame themselves more than anyone else- especially since the ship was at the tip of their noses (When it hadn't sunk completely). They kept screaming about how they wanted to jump into the waters themselves to save their children.

 

It's just too sad. It has only been an year.. we can't expect them to move on just yet. It's easier said than done.

Even a lifetime wouldn't be enough to heal it completely, and the year probably moved like a day for them.  

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Most of these parents are completely stuck in time, understandably. 

Even I feel like one year has passed by way too quick since this happened, it's almost crazy how fast time has moved. 

 

I remember this documentary I watched, where parents were on standby during the golden hours where rescue teams should have been vigorously moving to save the passengers, but were idly cruising, eating noodles and doing literally nothing. (Plus, they were blatantly lying to the guardian's faces and the media that they were sweating blood trying to save the passengers). The parents probably blame themselves more than anyone else- especially since the ship was at the tip of their noses (When it hadn't sunk completely). They kept screaming about how they wanted to jump into the waters themselves to save their children.

 

It's just too sad. It has only been an year.. we can't expect them to move on just yet. It's easier said than done.

Even a lifetime wouldn't be enough to heal it completely, and the year probably moved like a day for them.  

Every direction of this story is just horrible. Do you know what the documentary was? I'd like to see it.

What I feel most concerned about is the fact that even after a year, after all the support that we see through our computer screens, some families still don't seem to be getting the help they need. I hope for nothing but their strength.

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Every direction of this story is just horrible. Do you know what the documentary was? I'd like to see it.

What I feel most concerned about is the fact that even after a year, after all the support that we see through our computer screens, some families still don't seem to be getting the help they need. I hope for nothing but their strength.

 

 

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