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The Official Mental and Physical Health Support Thread [PLEASE READ OP]

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I let anxiety get the better of me on Wednesday. I work in a call center, and we finished up training for tech support so they put us on the phones for two hours. I got two calls in, both tech calls, and both customers were doubting what I was saying which was making my anxiety slowly rise but I thought I would be fine, I could handle it. On the second call, I got stuck, the customer got a little impatient, I panicked a bit, but tried to save it by asking for help. I don't know why, but when the supervisor started asking me questions about the call so she could better understand, I froze up, my brain went blank, and I had a panic attack. I started crying right there at the desk, not able to continue. Luckily I finished that call but I was a damn mess after that. I actually had to leave early because I couldn't get back on the phone after a break after that second call. I had a rough night that night, too.

 

Thursday, I tried to go in, sat down at the desk... could not get on the phone. My anxiety was screaming at me to run. I had to go outside because I thought I was going to throw up, my anxiety was still so high. Went back in, sat down, and still could not get on the phone. I ended up leaving after only thirty minutes of being there.

 

Luckily I powered through it today and felt a hell of a lot better, but I still felt so stupid that I let my anxiety get the better of me. I have always easily panicked in stressful situations before, my anxiety always goes into overdrive whether it is public speaking, the center of attention even being on me for a minute or two, anything like that. I probably have an un-diagnosed anxiety disorder but I don't want to be put on medication so I don't get evaluated. I've tried techniques to get myself to calm down but they never work. I hate it, but I guess I'm stuck with it.

 

Thanks for letting me rant and get the last bits of self-doubt of my chest.

 

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I hate myself for the scars that I left on body. At the same time I'm still struggling and want to start to self-harm and even worse again, every day, every day. It's so fucking painful. It has been 7 years already, it's ruining my life which ads even more stress and I'm so scared it's only getting worse. I just can't take it anymore. I started to strangle myself  wih my own hands while I had one an anxiety attack(?)  because I knew deep down inside that I couldn't have done it to the end. My chest was hurting so much so I just tried to rub it while crying and silently screaming in the bathroom, it was all red and there was even blood on my whole hands and chest. My head hurts horribly too. This started to happen more often lately and it's only getting worse, more frequent and more intense, sometimes I just don't understand what I'm doing and can't control myslef anymore. I should have done it earlier but what if the doctor thinks I'm crazy if I tell them everything? I'll try to conact a doctor next week, and I just hope she won't tell me "It's not a big deal" like I was told by my own parents and adults at school a few years ago. I feel like it will completely break  me down. But I feel like I'm on the edge, if I don't kill myself, I'll just go crazy and completely lose my mind. But I don't want to go to the hospital either. But there will be no point if I start lying to them

 

Eevrytime I do everything to ignore it it comes back even stronger, I just can't

 

Edited by Hanah

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I've made the terrible mistake of suddenly cutting off my anti-depressants because I was waiting for a new med prescription. It made me go through a dreadful week where I had to skip college most of the time because of my non-stop crying, my fucked up sleep schedule (I normally sleep 8 hours per night, during this week I had to sleep 14 to 15 hours to feel somewhat okay), panic attacks and very suicidal thoughts. It's crazy how just the fact that I didn't have any anti-depressants pills anymore made me feel x10 worse than usual. I had to take almost 4 Ativan pills to stop my body from trembling and crying, even if sometimes it didn't work.

 

 

bitch 10/10 wouldn't recommend doing this mistake lol

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Insanity or mental disorder, depression... Forget this words! Just let yourselves do what you like just for a moment every day. You become much stronger with your hobby and one day even your scars will be gone!

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i fucking hate that i'll never be able to be off anti-depressants for basically the rest of my life, why did I have to have this disorder what did i do. Every happy moment I have is ALWAYS going to be interrupted by my fucking disordered brain, therapy doesn't help it's never helped it's all bullshit. Everything is bullshit

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Umm i've been holding something in for a while now. My father died last year on september due to an accident, it happened so suddenly that i still have a hard time accepting the fact that he's gone now. I feel like I'm not that close to my father because I don't talk to him a lot and he is always busy with his work but even if we weren't that close, I can't stop crying almost everyday, it's like I feel guilty on why I didn't talk to him that much when he was still alive. I kept blaming myself.

My oldest sibling is autistic and I felt bad for her because when she saw him on the casket, she kept on knocking on it. She probably thought my father was sleeping and she was trying to wake him up. It broke my heart so much. My other older sister is going through depression and will probably undergo therapy. She only goes to school for like once a week after my father's death.

For the first few months, I was still fine but I've been breaking down lately and I don't want to be a burden to my mom so I didn't tell my family about it. I don't want to say it to my mom because she already suffered a lot. Because the accident was sudden, she had to find money for my father's hospital bills, we still have debt until now. And she has to take care of us, alone.

It just makes me so sad how I cannot see my father anymore, that I can't hear him anymore, his jokes and everything. I think that I'm feeling much better now that I let my feelings out.

 

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i hate the fact that no matter hw much i hate myself nobody is ever there to comfort me in a way that is genuine. i feel so alone. nobody actually likes me theyre all here just to keep my company bc theyre bored. none of them actually give half a shit about me

 

Edited by iaryyy

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heck of a friend u guys are. seeing me close to tears and not even asking whats wrong. i know itll be fake and you dont give a shit since evrryone is worried with their own lifes but at least be fake and act like you give a fuck. ill never actually get any comfort, nobody likes me anyway. im a trash human being and i just deserve this

 

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Is there anyone I can talk to here? I don't know if I should ask for this here but I'm having an anxiety attack and I don't know what to do.

Edited by Green Tea Is Green

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Is there anyone I can talk to here? I don't know if I should ask for this here but I'm having an anxiety attack and I don't know what to do.

you can talk to me, sorry for late response, but I'm always here^^

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i fucking hate that i'll never be able to be off anti-depressants for basically the rest of my life, why did I have to have this disorder what did i do. Every happy moment I have is ALWAYS going to be interrupted by my fucking disordered brain, therapy doesn't help it's never helped it's all bullshit. Everything is bullshit

same minus the meds cuz i have no money for those. i came to rant here about this situation. 

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I am so scared of losing the most important girl/person in my life. She is just so important and precious to me and I cherish her the most. But I am so scared of losing her.

 

There are also friends I am avoiding because I am ashamed to talk to them. I don't even have the strength to like their IG post.

 

I feel so weak mentally.

 

 

 

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I don't have anywhere or anyone I can say this to, so I guess I'll rant here...

 

2018 has been one of the worst years of my life. I feel so alone and everything has taken a turn for the absolute worst... and I hate myself so much for not being as strong as everyone else around me. I try to smile and pretend everything is okay, but it's not. Even when I'm surrounded by people, I feel lonely and sad. I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.

 

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i hate how i'm always scared that everyone secretly hates me and i feel like such a dumb bitch all the time like...how do people live like this? and i hate telling people that i'm borderline because whenever i open up about it i feel like i'm being judged for it. like i mentioned to my friend that i used to go to dialectical behaviour therapy so he asked if i'm borderline & i said yes and he said that it's such a "tumblr disorder," like i'm not already self-conscious enough? it just feels like no matter what i do, no one will ever care about me or i'll just end up annoying them. how can i possibly stop making myself be this damn unlikeable when it's just a part of my personality. i don't remember what i was like before i was mentally ill so i have nothing to even base the "real" me on

 

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I don't have anywhere or anyone I can say this to, so I guess I'll rant here...

 

2018 has been one of the worst years of my life. I feel so alone and everything has taken a turn for the absolute worst... and I hate myself so much for not being as strong as everyone else around me. I try to smile and pretend everything is okay, but it's not. Even when I'm surrounded by people, I feel lonely and sad. I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.

 

I know how you feel, I really know how it feels, and I don't want to remember that time anymore, so let me just say this: This happened for you for a reason that you need to be encouraged, at least from me or someone else. I believe that you're beautiful and wonderful, as you're here in this world. This harsh world is getting harder day by day, but I'm sure that you can go through it. Hwaiting, dear.

 

 

i hate how i'm always scared that everyone secretly hates me and i feel like such a dumb bitch all the time like...how do people live like this? and i hate telling people that i'm borderline because whenever i open up about it i feel like i'm being judged for it. like i mentioned to my friend that i used to go to dialectical behaviour therapy so he asked if i'm borderline & i said yes and he said that it's such a "tumblr disorder," like i'm not already self-conscious enough? it just feels like no matter what i do, no one will ever care about me or i'll just end up annoying them. how can i possibly stop making myself be this damn unlikeable when it's just a part of my personality. i don't remember what i was like before i was mentally ill so i have nothing to even base the "real" me on

 

Don't let anyone change you, you are yourself. And you're good for yourself. If you enjoy what you do, just do it. People around you don't know what you're actually doing, but you know what you doing for yourself. If you're happy because you're doing it, just do it. Also don't be too open for people that don't have same hobby with you, it's nothing that you can get, because you're basically waste your time by telling them what your loves, but they can't understand you. So, if you want to feel better, you can talk about it with us who has same interest with you. Hwaiting~

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I know how you feel, I really know how it feels, and I don't want to remember that time anymore, so let me just say this: This happened for you for a reason that you need to be encouraged, at least from me or someone else. I believe that you're beautiful and wonderful, as you're here in this world. This harsh world is getting harder day by day, but I'm sure that you can go through it. Hwaiting, dear.

 

Thanks ^_^

I hope I can get through this

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I'm a bit late but you can PM me

hi, i think i'll be okay now, but thanks for offering~

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To be honest, right now at this point in time, I feel useless at everything I do. The past 2 months been hellish for me. I feel depressed, emotional, cried easily. Recently, I don't longer have the strength to fight on anyway. I don't think I can even smile in front of the girl I like and be strong in front of her anymore. I am running away from her to avoid my problem.

 

This year, I learn that who are my real friends who still stay on by my side and tried to help me despite seeing my darkest side.

 

But even with their help, I feel too tired of life to hold on anymore

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To be honest, right now at this point in time, I feel useless at everything I do. The past 2 months been hellish for me. I feel depressed, emotional, cried easily. Recently, I don't longer have the strength to fight on anyway. I don't think I can even smile in front of the girl I like and be strong in front of her anymore. I am running away from her to avoid my problem.

 

This year, I learn that who are my real friends who still stay on by my side and tried to help me despite seeing my darkest side.

 

But even with their help, I feel too tired of life to hold on anymore

Hey man, are you okay? Do you need someone to talk to?

Edited by masayume☆chasing

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