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The Official Mental and Physical Health Support Thread [PLEASE READ OP]

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So here's a follow up to my last post. Hiding it because it may be disturbing to some, so everyone can decide for themselves if they want to read it or not.

 


The last few days were horrible. My depression got to a point where i just wanted to end it all. I won't go into detail about it for obvious reasons, but i've had everything planned and was ready to go. I've decided to listen to my favorite songs one last time while thinking it all through, and i'm glad i did because it gave me enough time to realize that going out this way is not what i want and probably won't change the way i feel anyway. If anything, things would just get worse.

 

I'm not sure how it even came this far. I've always ruled out suicide as a solution for myself. I guess i just did the mistake to let every single issue pile up in my mind and by the time i had found a new therapist, it had already thrown me over the edge. I'll talk about it with her next week, ironically on one of my biggest idols birthday who recently lost his battle to this very same illness, but i've decided to share it here aswell in hopes that it may get someone else to think twice about this decision, and simply because opening up in this forum has had some kind of positive effect for me in the past.

 

 

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i wasnt here for a while but i am pretty much on my end. i am rlly tired body wise and even more mentally. Everything gets too much for me. I need more free time, but i dont have them. And plus this i have a fight with my Mom and bc of it i am not talking with her anymore since a week. And i dont feel like there is a need. But there is a grandma who is on Moms site without knowing shit abt situation and fucks abt how i feel and comes with manipulating stuff like "its your Mom so u have to talk with her" or "she is air to u (u need her like air)" or "what if she gets sick bc u dont reply her", "she is hurt u dont reply" etc etc blah blub.. U know my Mom dont respect the privacy of my room, go on my table and damage (on purpose or not dont even matter) my stuff. Stuff what i invested money in and stuff i needed over a week to make done. "what if she gets sick bc u dont reply her?" How abt that it makes me sick she go on my things, damage them and than seriously have the guts to say that she wasnt and she didnt touch my things? And this basically is the point that makes me mad the most. When i left room everything was ok. When i came back my things was piled up on the table like them fall down and she put it random back to table.. and than she telling me she didnt touch them? Rlly. U know how much it hurts when u realize that your own Mom makes an Idiot out of u and to high lvl maybe even thinking i am rlly are one. And than also try to manipulate u when saying "i got a high blood pressure bc of u. Its 3 am and i couldnt sleep." the fuck? No, its NOT bc me. Its YOUR fault. U fucked up. U couldnt sleep bc YOU fucked up. Stop mentally manipulating me, it dont works anymore. In the therapy i am leaning abt validation, but no, there isnt smg to validate anymore. I am done with it. no. and its the 3rd thing Mom damaged of alike things.

I am so tidy.. so rlly rlly tidy. Coming home dead every day, dont know what to do first. Having even stomach pain again as body symptoms or have the need to sleep when coming home bc i am basically done. And than having such fucked up family. I am done with the world again.  

I don't know if I can help you but I really hope you don't mean it when you say you're done with the world. I get it, my mom is the same I always come back to find her messing everything up with the excuse of cleaning, sometimes even breaking stuff. No matter how much I tell her to stop it she always goes back to doing it, that's why I just place everything inside drawers because I know she'll come to "organise" stuff no matter what. I know it can really get on your nerve but she probably does it because she cares about you, I don't think she'd be intentionally breaking your stuff, but you would know better. I know parents have strange ways of showing their love and I know that what hurts you the most is her saying she's tired because of you and all that stuff. I'd suggest talking to her about how that hurts you and about how you feel, I know it can get tiring and sometimes you don't even feel the need to talk to anyone and you just want to be in silence and peace, but don't give up. If you need someone to PM i can talk to you.

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So here's a follow up to my last post. Hiding it because it may be disturbing to some, so everyone can decide for themselves if they want to read it or not.

 

 

The last few days were horrible. My depression got to a point where i just wanted to end it all. I won't go into detail about it for obvious reasons, but i've had everything planned and was ready to go. I've decided to listen to my favorite songs one last time while thinking it all through, and i'm glad i did because it gave me enough time to realize that going out this way is not what i want and probably won't change the way i feel anyway. If anything, things would just get worse.

 

I'm not sure how it even came this far. I've always ruled out suicide as a solution for myself. I guess i just did the mistake to let every single issue pile up in my mind and by the time i had found a new therapist, it had already thrown me over the edge. I'll talk about it with her next week, ironically on one of my biggest idols birthday who recently lost his battle to this very same illness, but i've decided to share it here aswell in hopes that it may get someone else to think twice about this decision, and simply because opening up in this forum has had some kind of positive effect for me in the past.

 

 

What you have write really touched me, i havent backtrack ancient posts so i dont know what have lead you to such a decision to want to end everything for good but if you havent it might be because the force to continue is bigger in you. 

Are you alone ? Do you have family/friends around you ?

Its good you talk about it and even more with a therapist !!!

Myself i never suffered about depression or i never have really put a word on it for myself when i was really down.

But my big sister did and it was really bad, i rmb some scene that i will never be able to forget.

But i was here for her, and even today because she is still fragile.

Maybe someone around you would like to be that person for you, try to find force in someone else if you feel ur getting down, if you feel you might want to end everything, dont stay alone, if you dont have someone irl please come always here to share, just to say its a bad day, dont be alone. 

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Well I have this friend from oh and akp who made me join oh and ditch akp,she has serious mood swings and she can end up liking me to making fun of my family but I know it's her mental problem so I don't hate her and I want to support her and get rid of mood swings and get rid of her eating disorder but I don't know how? I feel like useless friend unsure.png ohdearplz.png I always tell her she can get rid of it but she doesn't believe me since her therapist told her that but he end up harassing her.

Edited by lumissi

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What you have write really touched me, i havent backtrack ancient posts so i dont know what have lead you to such a decision to want to end everything for good but if you havent it might be because the force to continue is bigger in you. 

Are you alone ? Do you have family/friends around you ?

Its good you talk about it and even more with a therapist !!!

Myself i never suffered about depression or i never have really put a word on it for myself when i was really down.

But my big sister did and it was really bad, i rmb some scene that i will never be able to forget.

But i was here for her, and even today because she is still fragile.

Maybe someone around you would like to be that person for you, try to find force in someone else if you feel ur getting down, if you feel you might want to end everything, dont stay alone, if you dont have someone irl please come always here to share, just to say its a bad day, dont be alone. 

 

Thanks for the encouraging words smile.png

 

Loneliness is probably my biggest issue, only got my brother here that i can't meet very often due to work, the rest of my family and friends all live anywhere but close. My social anxiety doesn't really help either. I've tried to build new contacts but i don't know, i always feel out of place wherever i go, even here on OH. But yeah i think you're right, even when my mind had given up already there was still something that kept me here, i'm just afraid even that will be gone at some point. 

Edited by Enki91
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I need someone to talk about abusive relationships during childhood, adolescence, but I don't even know how to start.

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I need someone to talk about abusive relationships during childhood, adolescence, but I don't even know how to start.

I'm here if you need to talk.

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I'm here if you need to talk.

 

Shit, i don't know, i just discovered something today about the people that i used to surround myself with, my abusers and, to know they're happily living their life, while i'm here living miserably. just wanting to let all out because i had a panic attack over that and those constant thoughts of feeling like scum. and me being a teacher, how can i even pretend to help children when i couldn't even defend myself, i just know that i don't want people to go through the same but? can i really? i don't know what to do, i'm still going through shit, i thought i got over it but now i realize that feeling never left, and just by the thought of it i lost control so bad, ugh

 

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Shit, i don't know, i just discovered something today about the people that i used to surround myself with, my abusers and, to know they're happily living their life, while i'm here living miserably. just wanting to let all out because i had a panic attack over that and those constant thoughts of feeling like scum. and me being a teacher, how can i even pretend to help children when i couldn't even defend myself, i just know that i don't want people to go through the same but? can i really? i don't know what to do, i'm still going through shit, i thought i got over it but now i realize that feeling never left, and just by the thought of it i lost control so bad, ugh

 

 

I know your feeling, tell the children that you will be there if they need help, dear. If you want further talk, just hit me up, okie? Since my dream is being a teacher too, I hope that you can go through this, dear.

 

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Shit, i don't know, i just discovered something today about the people that i used to surround myself with, my abusers and, to know they're happily living their life, while i'm here living miserably. just wanting to let all out because i had a panic attack over that and those constant thoughts of feeling like scum. and me being a teacher, how can i even pretend to help children when i couldn't even defend myself, i just know that i don't want people to go through the same but? can i really? i don't know what to do, i'm still going through shit, i thought i got over it but now i realize that feeling never left, and just by the thought of it i lost control so bad, ugh

 

Look man, you’re you and you’re fucking awesome. You’re a teacher and you help kids everyday I bet. You’re worrying that you might not be able to protect them and you know what? That means you give a shit.

 

The people you used to be around, they live sad miserable, shallow, awful lives being a shell of something that could resemble a human if you reallllllllly squinted your eyes. What are you judging their quality of life by anyways? Some social media posts? What they say? Staged things say nothing about their lives.

 

Now just take solace in that.

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Look man, you’re you and you’re fucking awesome. You’re a teacher and you help kids everyday I bet. You’re worrying that you might not be able to protect them and you know what? That means you give a shit.

 

The people you used to be around, they live sad miserable, shallow, awful lives being a shell of something that could resemble a human if you reallllllllly squinted your eyes. What are you judging their quality of life by anyways? Some social media posts? What they say? Staged things say nothing about their lives.

 

Now just take solace in that.

This, words that friend will give <3

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Hello amazing people here on Earth. In case you want to rant/talk/ask about almost anything, I'm here for you. 

 

We can also talk privately. smile.png

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Hello amazing people here on Earth. In case you want to rant/talk/ask about almost anything, I'm here for you. 

 

We can also talk privately. smile.png

Thanks for your offer, it helps us! ><

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This, words that friend will give <3

Idk who they are I just say whatever I think is true lol.

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Well I have this friend from oh and akp who made me join oh and ditch akp,she has serious mood swings and she can end up liking me to making fun of my family but I know it's her mental problem so I don't hate her and I want to support her and get rid of mood swings and get rid of her eating disorder but I don't know how? I feel like useless friend :unsure: :._.: I always tell her she can get rid of it but she doesn't believe me since her therapist told her that but he end up harassing her.

Look you just cannot help someone who doesn’t want help. You can reach out your hand as much as you want but at the end of the day if the other person doesn’t take your hand you’re just giving yourself an ache.

 

Just tell her, “look I know you’re going through a lot and I want to help you. But sometimes the way you treat me makes me feel bad, and I don’t think that’s okayâ€. Her going through shit doesn’t make it ok to inflict it upon others.

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Look you just cannot help someone who doesn’t want help. You can reach out your hand as much as you want but at the end of the day if the other person doesn’t take your hand you’re just giving yourself an ache.

 

Just tell her, “look I know you’re going through a lot and I want to help you. But sometimes the way you treat me makes me feel bad, and I don’t think that’s okayâ€. Her going through shit doesn’t make it ok to inflict it upon others.

thanks.. I'll try and help her as much as I can

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thanks.. I'll try and help her as much as I can

Oh maybe the therapist said that he can help her, but it's only she that can help herself, but she took it wrong.

As a patient, it's normal to be shocked, maybe she lost hope, but you can always encourage her <3

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Thanks for the encouraging words :)

 

Loneliness is probably my biggest issue, only got my brother here that i can't meet very often due to work, the rest of my family and friends all live anywhere but close. My social anxiety doesn't really help either. I've tried to build new contacts but i don't know, i always feel out of place wherever i go, even here on OH. But yeah i think you're right, even when my mind had given up already there was still something that kept me here, i'm just afraid even that will be gone at some point.

 

No i understand how u feel, sometimes its not easy to try to go in the middle of smtg that exist already, but its not out of the place to want to build smtg or made new friends, to want to share.

Express yourself more and dont let this feeling eat you, you have nothing to loose in trying to make new contacts :)

For the family part im bit like you too, i only have my sister and my godson near me, my brother is far away too but i try to enjoy the most possible when he is here and we pm often, just a little hello or a good night is fine already, meet him when u can :)

Never loose this little smtg please ♥ï¸

I add u as friend, if u need u can pm me, lol i just saw we are the same age haha

Edited by Lusciღ
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I wanna not exist,even cant explain properly. Too afraid of being called an attention seeker bcz im actually always avoiding attention.

 

Edited by OfficialQueenOfOH

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I wanna not exist,even cant explain properly. Too afraid of being called an attention seeker bcz im actually always avoiding attention.

 

 

Hey why are u feeling like dis ? Smtg happened to you to express it now ?

Your not an attention seeker if  you feel bad and u search support, not at all, actually its a really good decision.

Dont stay alone, lots of persons in this place are here to listen to u if u need it. 

Nobody have the right to judge how u feel, and if someone do, its not a person to look at, dont u think ?

 

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Hey why are u feeling like dis ? Smtg happened to you to express it now ?

Your not an attention seeker if  you feel bad and u search support, not at all, actually its a really good decision.

Dont stay alone, lots of persons in this place are here to listen to u if u need it. 

Nobody have the right to judge how u feel, and if someone do, its not a person to look at, dont u think ?

 

 

I feel like my friends are tired of me,I can't stop being jealous and the friendship is hurting me rather than making me happy now. Instead of being happy I cried all time when talking to them and they weren't even saying bad things to me,welp they didn't see coz they are online friends. But still I am hurt as hell,can't breathe properly and i feel hangover TT

 

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I feel like my friends are tired of me,I can't stop being jealous and the friendship is hurting me rather than making me happy now. Instead of being happy I cried all time when talking to them and they weren't even saying bad things to me,welp they didn't see coz they are online friends. But still I am hurt as hell,can't breathe properly and i feel hangover TT

 

 

Your friends are special to you, why would they be tired of you?

Have they told you smtg in this way ? 

Your not feeling good with this situation and u might see it like dis but its just ur point of view, because its hurting you . 

Dont interpret, even more now that your emotions are running very high. 

Breath slowly,  try to order ur feelings, maybe dont talk to them right now if its hard and if it hurts you more then makes you happy.

What makes u jaleous in this relation ? Do you feel excluded at some points ?

 

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Your friends are special to you, why would they be tired of you?

Have they told you smtg in this way ? 

Your not feeling good with this situation and u might see it like dis but its just ur point of view, because its hurting you . 

Dont interpret, even more now that your emotions are running very high. 

Breath slowly,  try to order ur feelings, maybe dont talk to them right now if its hard and if it hurts you more then makes you happy.

What makes u jaleous in this relation ? Do you feel excluded at some points ?

 

 

It's that sometimes I feel like the jokes or teasing that I do can be too much for them. Bcz for me it's this way. I'm sensitive and fragile as hell. No one would cry bcz of being teased (if it was irl I would just hide inside rather than cry tho lol I'm not that spoiled)

 

Plus it's that my friend found another friend and seems to love her more than he loves me TT

 

The other big problem is that talk abt sexual stuff and more hurts me to a certain high level bcz of a bad experience i had in early teenage days. I feel like a horrible human being to tell them not talk abt it. Like who am i to do that?

 

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No i understand how u feel, sometimes its not easy to try to go in the middle of smtg that exist already, but its not out of the place to want to build smtg or made new friends, to want to share.

Express yourself more and dont let this feeling eat you, you have nothing to loose in trying to make new contacts smile.png

For the family part im bit like you too, i only have my sister and my godson near me, my brother is far away too but i try to enjoy the most possible when he is here and we pm often, just a little hello or a good night is fine already, meet him when u can smile.png

Never loose this little smtg please ♥ï¸

I add u as friend, if u need u can pm me, lol i just saw we are the same age haha

 

Thanks, you're too kind. I'll probably end up being too shy to message you out of nowhere, another big issue of me but maybe i can overcome that. And you can also message me if you ever need someone to talk smile.png

Edited by Enki91

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Shit, i don't know, i just discovered something today about the people that i used to surround myself with, my abusers and, to know they're happily living their life, while i'm here living miserably. just wanting to let all out because i had a panic attack over that and those constant thoughts of feeling like scum. and me being a teacher, how can i even pretend to help children when i couldn't even defend myself, i just know that i don't want people to go through the same but? can i really? i don't know what to do, i'm still going through shit, i thought i got over it but now i realize that feeling never left, and just by the thought of it i lost control so bad, ugh

 

Do we scorn a soldier who got injured? No, we celebrate them as the heroes they are.

There's no one better for the children, than someone who survived, who is living and helping to make this world a better place.

You are amazing and your sad moments are just as beautiful as the happy moments because they didn't take away what makes you, you; you're a full person, capable of a range of emotions and they are scum, with an emptiness inside them that they can't ever fill.

Whenever you feel sad, let it wash over you, let it be released from your body through your tears or any other menthod, don't ever think this is you giving them undeserved time, as this is you taking time out for yourself to get recentered.

You are loved, you deserve your life, to be a teacher to those kids and never forget that you are hero, your own hero, the one that has kept you together and kept you going.

I love you, you're amazing.

 

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