The Official Mental and Physical Health Support Thread [PLEASE READ OP]

[VANTE]

Do you want to talk about it personally with me?

sure, i'll send you a pm

[KaniPi]

 

 

I feel like nothing is going right for me.

 

No matter what I do, I never get appreciated for what I do. I'm really tired, and I miss my father. He always used to ask about me, and when I used to get upset, he never raised his voice. He would be the first one to say sorry. He's not here anymore. I don't have anyone. I just pretend to be alright, but the reality is that I wish I never existed.

 

My grandmother died in the same year as my father, we haven't been contacted by our extended family in months. They have always hated us.

 

I'm really tired... I just can't deal with this.

 

I miss EP, so much. Its been 7 months and I still can't get over him. He has no idea how much he has affected me.

 

 

 

Edited February 5, 2018 by KaniPi

[WonderJoyous]

First time posting here...

 

 

 

Around 4 days ago I was in the middle of a panic attack when I told my mom I don't want to live anymore

 

She pressured me to tell everyone else in the family and I wish she didn't do that because I just got one of my siblings emotionally attacking me and even telling me to stop some of my hobbies or trying to shove his mindset that I don't have a reason to feel depressed or anxious down my throat.

 

And i've been feeling completely empty since then, and sometimes I burst into tears while i'm on my own.

 

I told my parents i'm going to get help, I can't afford it but there is a psychologist working for free near an university, I just need to go make an appointment, I was planning on going tomorrow but now i'm sick and i'm not sure if i'll be able to but I don't want to postpone it.

 

I don't have anyone to rely on and every day I feel like my head is going to explode at any minute, and although i've found something I love (Which is uni), the emotional pressure i'm constantly in is just horrible, I really wish I wasn't here at all.

 

 

[-masayume-]

Sending hugs to everyone struggling with their problems.

 

 

 

I myself have been down this whole day. I met this guy on a date app, had first date last weekend and everything was perfect and beautiful. He is funny, smart, hot - everything I've looked for and more.

Last night I went over to his place... And things didn't work out well.

We are both fucked up mentally, each of us are dealing with our own struggles and each of us looked for the wrong solution of our problems, thinking that finding someone for consolement will make us feel better. So in the end we're now even more fucked up than we were before, lol.

I guess I will never see him again.

I'm feeling so sad and awful right now and would do anything to make the situation better, even though I know deep down that this ending yesterday was the best for both of us.

So I just need some time to heal and everything will be okay. I wrote down all my feelings on a paper and will meditate before bedtime - these two things always help me to feel better so it's my recommendation to you who have their thoughts all over the place like me.

No need for quoting or commenting... I just wanted to put down my thoughts somewhere.

 

 

[Vanille]

 

 

Your post worry me and idk how to react on this. First of all i am happy u failed and u are alive. 

I dont think that u are usless. I often feel this too, but its not true at all. Do u help cooking in the family or clean up? Do u get buy things when asked for help? Do u help in general when asked? U arent useless. U also can find smg what makes u fun, relax u and dont makes u think much. Do u like drawing, dancing, singing or sport? I think its important to have an yin and yang. U also can try to engage u in things, like teaching things u have fun with to others, or get yourself mobil in politics, church or simply "work" in a kitchen for homeless ppl etc. there are many things to do feel less useless when u see the real help u bring. 

 

For the parents, sadly i do have the same problem as u. But the only thing we can do is radical acceptance as we cant change them. Dont listen to what they say. get it in one ear and in the other out. Its hard, i know it myself. But simply think in the moment abt other things, so u will not hear the shit yr parents say. Its a method i use. I gave up with talking with them, so i dont listen to them anymore eighter. Or try to make a fun out of it. Try to make them as a joke. U can try to develop a technique to laugh in yourself, every time yr parents are ignorant and laugh abt their ignorance. I got it from of of the Gilmore Girls Episodes as Lorelai  do it against her Mother. It can be effective.

 

Why was u kicked out and of what? I didnt rlly got it. sry. 

 

 

 

 

 

No my whole life is a mess and I don't have the energy for anything anymore. There's nothing I really enjoy, only music but sometimes I reach a point I can't even finish my fave songs...

 

I got kicked out of college because I got sick too often, they no longer believe me and I had some mental breakdowns in class... I might be allowed to come back later but if my state hasn't improved... Idk what will happen then. I still went to internship because my chef didn't know about anything and expected me, while everyone else was like "I thought you were sick" such mess...

 

 

[zao]

 

 

I feel like nothing is going right for me.

 

No matter what I do, I never get appreciated for what I do. I'm really tired, and I miss my father. He always used to ask about me, and when I used to get upset, he never raised his voice. He would be the first one to say sorry. He's not here anymore. I don't have anyone. I just pretend to be alright, but the reality is that I wish I never existed.

 

My grandmother died in the same year as my father, we haven't been contacted by our extended family in months. They have always hated us.

 

I'm really tired... I just can't deal with this.

 

I miss EP, so much. Its been 7 months and I still can't get over him. He has no idea how much he has affected me.

 

 

 

I can feel what you feel, since yeah I felt like that and still feeling like you feel. I still have my family, but I don't know where to talk about my problem personally, so I just keep it, and then crying a lot when it's burst out after some times.

I still can't believe about something that in my mind, like I want to approach myself and then hug me tight, and then talk about problems personally. 

I hope that you can move from your problems, it's hard but you're precious, and I hope you keep smiling whatever is happening, smile is surely a big move. 

 

First time posting here...

 

 

 

Around 4 days ago I was in the middle of a panic attack when I told my mom I don't want to live anymore

 

She pressured me to tell everyone else in the family and I wish she didn't do that because I just got one of my siblings emotionally attacking me and even telling me to stop some of my hobbies or trying to shove his mindset that I don't have a reason to feel depressed or anxious down my throat.

 

And i've been feeling completely empty since then, and sometimes I burst into tears while i'm on my own.

 

I told my parents i'm going to get help, I can't afford it but there is a psychologist working for free near an university, I just need to go make an appointment, I was planning on going tomorrow but now i'm sick and i'm not sure if i'll be able to but I don't want to postpone it.

 

I don't have anyone to rely on and every day I feel like my head is going to explode at any minute, and although i've found something I love (Which is uni), the emotional pressure i'm constantly in is just horrible, I really wish I wasn't here at all.

 

 

I'll be there if you want to talk personally about everything in your mind. But if you don't want, please at least keep you accompanied. And about your problems, I can't say anything but wish you all the best, since I feel similar with you^^

 

 

No my whole life is a mess and I don't have the energy for anything anymore. There's nothing I really enjoy, only music but sometimes I reach a point I can't even finish my fave songs...

 

I got kicked out of college because I got sick too often, they no longer believe me and I had some mental breakdowns in class... I might be allowed to come back later but if my state hasn't improved... Idk what will happen then. I still went to internship because my chef didn't know about anything and expected me, while everyone else was like "I thought you were sick" such mess...

 

 

Hey, prove that you can do better and better from before, you can do it for sure.

My problem is pretty similar with you, because of last semester, they doubted me that I will do better this semester. But somehow I got encouraged by something in my heart, and still going in. After talk a lot about this and that with my parents, I was hella confused but somehow I still want to go college. If you still want to do it, then go for it. You can do it for sure.

[WonderJoyous]

I'll be there if you want to talk personally about everything in your mind. But if you don't want, please at least keep you accompanied. And about your problems, I can't say anything but wish you all the best, since I feel similar with you^^

I don't think I want to talk about it further but thank you for quoting me^^ I wish you all the best too and if you feel like talking you can PM me.

[zao]

I thought about it more and more, still can't get over it.

Let me rant about something here for the first time.

 

I just don't like how they seeing my disability to speak well in front of public or class, because I was super nervous. I always regretted the moment that I prepared so much, but then they made me flop. It was really hard and hurtful moment, but still it already happened. I just feeling like I'm the worst. Also how they compare me with someone that having disability and do well in her study is somehow motivating me, but at the same time I feel really discouraged, because I don't see any future in my life. I just stuck in this point, how I will be better person then?

[Khyler]

I thought about it more and more, still can't get over it.

Let me rant about something here for the first time.

 

I just don't like how they seeing my disability to speak well in front of public or class, because I was super nervous. I always regretted the moment that I prepared so much, but then they made me flop. It was really hard and hurtful moment, but still it already happened. I just feeling like I'm the worst. Also how they compare me with someone that having disability and do well in her study is somehow motivating me, but at the same time I feel really discouraged, because I don't see any future in my life. I just stuck in this point, how I will be better person then?

What's your goal for the next 5 years?

[Cizza]

My dad beat me in the street days ago.

 

i'm adult

 

my mom is defending him

 

i dont know what to do

Edited February 9, 2018 by Cizza

[imreddy]

 

Lately my mental health seems okay, but my personal life is basically on hold until I can start my new job. It's really making me miserable.

 

I don't know what's going on with my mom, but she is so ridiculously self-centered. I don't remember it ever being this bad, but it's so apparent now. 85% of what comes out of her mouth is complaining about either her health or about my dad and telling him what he does that's annoying or "making me feel like you don't care" (which doesn't make sense wording it that way but she does). I'm waiting to see if my parents will get a divorce. My mom never shows appreciation for my dad, and when she does thank him for something, she has to tell him how to do it better. She undermines the fact that my dad can be caring for other people by saying things like "yeah, he apologized because I told him to." My mom really wants to be stuck in the idea that she gets no help when she refuses help to begin with. She tries to get people to do things for her by complaining when typically, people just fucking ask someone to do something for them. "I have a migraine" isn't what most people think means "can you turn the tv down?" or "can you take the dog out?" She picks on my dad in public while she knows damn well that if my dad did the same to her, she'd cry. She doesn't practice what she preaches because she can never see things from another person's perspective. 

 

I don't know if my mom is a narcissist or what.

Sorry if this is all over the place. I basically never talk about this to people, so I just typed like a madman. 

 

 

[zao]

What's your goal for the next 5 years?

-Opening shop

-Making some books

-Making a bunch of poems

 

 

Lately my mental health seems okay, but my personal life is basically on hold until I can start my new job. It's really making me miserable.

 

I don't know what's going on with my mom, but she is so ridiculously self-centered. I don't remember it ever being this bad, but it's so apparent now. 85% of what comes out of her mouth is complaining about either her health or about my dad and telling him what he does that's annoying or "making me feel like you don't care" (which doesn't make sense wording it that way but she does). I'm waiting to see if my parents will get a divorce. My mom never shows appreciation for my dad, and when she does thank him for something, she has to tell him how to do it better. She undermines the fact that my dad can be caring for other people by saying things like "yeah, he apologized because I told him to." My mom really wants to be stuck in the idea that she gets no help when she refuses help to begin with. She tries to get people to do things for her by complaining when typically, people just fucking ask someone to do something for them. "I have a migraine" isn't what most people think means "can you turn the tv down?" or "can you take the dog out?" She picks on my dad in public while she knows damn well that if my dad did the same to her, she'd cry. She doesn't practice what she preaches because she can never see things from another person's perspective. 

 

I don't know if my mom is a narcissist or what.

Sorry if this is all over the place. I basically never talk about this to people, so I just typed like a madman. 

 

 

 

 

I can see it disturbing your personal life, have you talk about this with them?

 

[Khyler]

My dad beat me in the street days ago.

 

i'm adult

 

my mom is defending him

 

i dont know what to do

Wait what kind of beating

 

-Opening shop

-Making some books

-Making a bunch of poems

 

 

 

I can see it disturbing your personal life, have you talk about this with them?

 

Are you working towards these goals? btw are you in highschool?

[zao]

Wait what kind of beating

 

Are you working towards these goals? btw are you in highschool?

I'm, I always posted my poems somewhere tho~

 

Nope, I'm theology student, but it's actually flopped nowadays

But, yeah, I'm working and studying hard~

[imreddy]

-Opening shop

-Making some books

-Making a bunch of poems

 

 

 

I can see it disturbing your personal life, have you talk about this with them?

 

 

With my mom, it usually gets twisted around to be about her.

Like when I was in my last relationship, my mom would tell me I was on my phone too much because she felt like I was being taken from her. Or how she's joked that I'm not allowed to move out. When I mention something to the extent of "your behavior is affecting me", it's morphed into "well, I'M going through so much. of course, I'm gonna complain." Typically, I walk out of the room when she starts yelling at my dad. She tells me "I notice you do that a lot, and it makes me feel like I can't do anything right." She basically tells me how I should deal with her behavior. 

 

She was going to therapy, which I also go to by myself. She always stops going. 

 

It's starting to seem like something I can't do anything about. I can only look forward to my time out of the house.

 

 

[zao]

 

With my mom, it usually gets twisted around to be about her.

Like when I was in my last relationship, my mom would tell me I was on my phone too much because she felt like I was being taken from her. Or how she's joked that I'm not allowed to move out. When I mention something to the extent of "your behavior is affecting me", it's morphed into "well, I'M going through so much. of course, I'm gonna complain." Typically, I walk out of the room when she starts yelling at my dad. She tells me "I notice you do that a lot, and it makes me feel like I can't do anything right." She basically tells me how I should deal with her behavior. 

 

She was going to therapy, which I also go to by myself. She always stops going. 

 

It's starting to seem like something I can't do anything about. I can only look forward to my time out of the house.

 

 

 

 

It's hard, already tried making a letter to expressing your feelings for your mom?

 

[imreddy]

 

 

It's hard, already tried making a letter to expressing your feelings for your mom?

 

I never thought of writing a letter before! That's a really good idea.

[zao]

I never thought of writing a letter before! That's a really good idea.

Yup, it always a best way to expressing your feeling

I hope you can solve your problems with your mom, hwaiting~

[imreddy]

Yup, it always a best way to expressing your feeling

I hope you can solve your problems with your mom, hwaiting~

Thank you so much. It make take a bit of time for me to do, but it's worth trying

[Khyler]

I'm, I always posted my poems somewhere tho~

 

Nope, I'm theology student, but it's actually flopped nowadays

But, yeah, I'm working and studying hard~

Are you working towards goals that'll give you longterm benefits?

[zao]

Are you working towards goals that'll give you longterm benefits?

Yup, I'm! ><

working for my books actually, which is leading me to reach my dream to being a writer someday~

[Khyler]

Yup, I'm! ><

working for my books actually, which is leading me to reach my dream to being a writer someday~

So why you don't see any future for yourself?

Edited February 9, 2018 by Khyler

[zao]

So why you don't see any future for yourself?

There's some times that I really down and some times when I'm positively thinking about everything. I don't know why it's happening tho, but it's like kinda moodswing and depressed thing I think? I was talking about this to my pastoral theology teacher too, and yeah I already know what happened with me, but something that I'm afraid is that I lose my momentum someday. But hopefully it never happening Thanks for asking btw, you made my day~

[Cizza]

Wait what kind of beating

 

Lemme explain.

 

Here in my country we're having carnival, you know, samba, etc...

 

so my family have a tradition to go to carnival on the street together every year, so was is everything okay until the end. Everybody is singing, drink and dancing together. But when we are going to our house, in the street a girl came to me, screaming, crying, asking for some help.

I asked her what happened and she was saying his boyfriend abused her and she was afraid, i said to her "okay, lets stay calm, take a deep breath and we're going to police, i'm going to help you." My dad pulled me by the arms and said to me "don't. leave her alone, its her fault, if she wants talk with the cops she was there not screaming in our ears." and i said " its not victim's fault, she needs support." but my dad had keep holding me by my arms.

I said to him "let me go", and he was screaming "let's go to our house. we talk later." and i was getting nervous more and more, i was screaming to him "LET ME GO I NEED HELP HER" and everybody in the street is seeing this situation was screaming too saying to my dad stay calm and let me free from his arms. My dad slaped right in my face in front of 100 people (or more).

This time my dad is pushing me by my arms trying to leave me to his car and lock me there so i was mobilized by my arms for someone bigger and stronger than me. My only choice was to make him startled and let me free, i have a cup of coca cola in one hand so i threw it on his face. The slapped me again, released my arms and said to me "Okay, help this little bitch, you're not going anymore to our house" and walk away. My mom follow him.

This time i was alone nervous by the situation, so i was kinda looking for the girl and trying to compose myself. Some guy approached me, hugged me, and asked about this situation and try to calm me down. I was close to the police station, so i was thinking about report my dad to the cops about this situation, but my mom moments later came saying its all my fault, i just needed stay quiet and follow my dad rules. she is saying to going to our house with her to resolve this things. But when we came my dad start screaming again, saying that he's not my father anymore, he's going do disowns me and if i die he's not going to move a finger for me. 

A day later my mom manipulated me, saying she is going to die or go away because i was destryoing this family, i need say sorry to my dad because it was my fault. shee was manipulating my friends too and even my uncles and aunts. I needed to explain everyone about this whoooooole situation. So i just stopped talk with her to, because she was playing a victim with me. Until 02/05 i dont talk with my parents, my arms still hurt and i still have bruises.

 

Sorry about my english, its not perfect, but i hope u can understand.

[Khyler]

Lemme explain.

 

Here in my country we're having carnival, you know, samba, etc...

 

so my family have a tradition to go to carnival on the street together every year, so was is everything okay until the end. Everybody is singing, drink and dancing together. But when we are going to our house, in the street a girl came to me, screaming, crying, asking for some help.

I asked her what happened and she was saying his boyfriend abused her and she was afraid, i said to her "okay, lets stay calm, take a deep breath and we're going to police, i'm going to help you." My dad pulled me by the arms and said to me "don't. leave her alone, its her fault, if she wants talk with the cops she was there not screaming in our ears." and i said " its not victim's fault, she needs support." but my dad had keep holding me by my arms.

I said to him "let me go", and he was screaming "let's go to our house. we talk later." and i was getting nervous more and more, i was screaming to him "LET ME GO I NEED HELP HER" and everybody in the street is seeing this situation was screaming too saying to my dad stay calm and let me free from his arms. My dad slaped right in my face in front of 100 people (or more).

This time my dad is pushing me by my arms trying to leave me to his car and lock me there so i was mobilized by my arms for someone bigger and stronger than me. My only choice was to make him startled and let me free, i have a cup of coca cola in one hand so i threw it on his face. The slapped me again, released my arms and said to me "Okay, help this little bitch, you're not going anymore to our house" and walk away. My mom follow him.

This time i was alone nervous by the situation, so i was kinda looking for the girl and trying to compose myself. Some guy approached me, hugged me, and asked about this situation and try to calm me down. I was close to the police station, so i was thinking about report my dad to the cops about this situation, but my mom moments later came saying its all my fault, i just needed stay quiet and follow my dad rules. she is saying to going to our house with her to resolve this things. But when we came my dad start screaming again, saying that he's not my father anymore, he's going do disowns me and if i die he's not going to move a finger for me. 

A day later my mom manipulated me, saying she is going to die or go away because i was destryoing this family, i need say sorry to my dad because it was my fault. shee was manipulating my friends too and even my uncles and aunts. I needed to explain everyone about this whoooooole situation. So i just stopped talk with her to, because she was playing a victim with me. Until 02/05 i dont talk with my parents, my arms still hurt and i still have bruises.

 

Sorry about my english, its not perfect, but i hope u can understand.

 

I was thinking about something and now that you developed your story and placed your context, it totally changed everything. First, I think you're really compassionate to be willing to help this girl. Obviously your father doesn't want this girl to draw problems and he's probably scared to take the responsability and to interacts with police (my mother is also like that).

 

But yeah, the situation actually escalated pretty quickly, and the sad thing with old people is, it's probably harder for them to change, because they're closer to their lifetime, so it's less worth for them to change. The situation also seems kind of exceptionnal.

 

Did you move from your family house? I also don't know how toxic your parents are, but from what you've written, they seems toxic, and obstinate, I mean if your father wants to disinherited you, that's pretty fck up. As I say I'm not sure how toxic he is, I'm not sure if he's really thinking about it, or he just wants apologize. 

 

I personally think that teaching with violence it's pretty garbage. It doesn't teach that much, actually it teaches more about violence and fear than anything. But yeah, the situation seems pretty complicated.

 

If your family is pretty damn toxic and you're living a hell with them, I would've personally tried to move out, cut some depencies, get some distance, I mean just find some peace. Surround yourself with better people and start drawing your life. But as I said, I'm far from knowing your family situation, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

Edited February 10, 2018 by Khyler