The Official Mental and Physical Health Support Thread [PLEASE READ OP]

[yeppuda]

Hello amazing people here on Earth. In case you want to rant/talk/ask about almost anything, I'm here for you. 

 

We can also talk privately. 

[yeppuda]

 

i'll write somethings here because i'm in bad mood again. I'm a failure, i hate myself, a total mess. What am i living for ? Who am i living for ? I just want to end myself right now but i have to stay alive atleast for now. living for nothing make me tired, i'm just not made for this world

 

 

 

 

Before I say anything else, I'd like to thank you for continuing to stay alive. Life is hard, and in no way can anyone deny this harsh truth. But please do remember that I am here, and the other members are also here for you. 

 

Don't be shy about writing some of your personal problems here. I'd like to think us humans as buckets. Day after day, we encounter problems that are metaphorical to water. The problems vary from a single drip to a liter of water all emptied at once. At some point in our lives, these buckets will be filled, so the only thing we can do is to pour these unnecessary water unto something else. I'm glad you found a way to unpack your burden.

 

You are in no way a failure. Sure, you may have made hundreds or even thousands of mistakes but the only important thing is that you're still here. It takes a lot of courage to continue living in a world where nothing matters anymore. You're a strong person for continuing, for still having hope in spite of losing the will to live. Just hold on, okay? Just hold on for this time. Give it a month, or two. I promise everything will become better.

 

You can also PM me or anyone if you want to talk.

 

Stay safe, love. The world needs you.

 

 

 

Edited March 25, 2018 by yeppuda

[yeppuda]

 

 

i post in here a lil bit ago things ab how i had been feeling like...suicidal and stuff. and im feeling better these days. the thoughts arent non existent, but way less frequent... but the last few days, i cant get over the numb feeling i have.

 

basically, ab a week ago. i had an altercation at work with a coworker, that ended up with me sitting outside crying for 2 hrs (with my managers permission) before going home. i dont think i should say too much detail, but basically my coworker ended up yelling at me that im crazy & "what the fuck is wrong with you". and this coworker, i never had personal problems with, but she is friends with other coworkers who've been bullying me for 2 yrs now, and just a lot of other ppl who works there. even tho my managers make effort to separate us from eachother, i still have this overwhelming anxiety ab what her friends are going to do to me. because in 2 yrs it hasnt stopped-- i dont think it will now. and it hurts bc these ppl are rly the ones that pushes me over the edge.

 

i also have like...no one i am really comfortable talking to . my friends...i dont really have any anymore. my friends were fighting a lot in the last few months, and ab a month ago, i just realized..i cant take it anymore, theyre just so nasty to eachother & im tired of being in the middle.but im feeling guilty ab it honestly. ive known them since 5 yrs ago, and i have a lot of moments were i go w/o speaking to them for months (bc of my avpd, there are months that i just dont talk to any1) i feel like im a bad person & friend, to do that to them...but i just dont think i can handle being around them again. i just cant handle it.... its prob dumb. just cant handle drama anymore

 

i guess i type this here because i dont rly have any you know, really close friend that id usually vent to..sry. i have a few people i talk to, but i try not to vent ab my life because i dont want to put pressure on them to try to help me... it also makes me feel bad to vent online too because i feel like im annoying and a bother to who see it, but thanks to any1 here.

 

 

 

 

First of all, maybe nobody told you this but I just wanna thank you for still being here. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

 

I'd like to note that I don't have enough grasp on matters concerning work because I haven't been to one yet. The best thing here is to leave your work since you are clearly distressed by the actions of your coworkers. Being humiliated in front of others in a single occurrence is hard enough for a person, what else if that is done to you on occasional basis. However, maybe quitting your work is not a piece of cake. Other alternatives could also be confronting them (you probably already tried this); or making new friends in your workplace. Is your workplace large enough to cater to more than twenty employees? If that's the case, maybe this would work because bullies tend to target people who are isolated. Having friends in the workplace could help.

 

Regarding the coworker, you had a fight with, did she/he also partake in other bullying activities? Or was it only during this time? Because if it was only this time, maybe she just had a shtty day (sorry for the use of word) and unfortunately, the pent-up rage she had was poured unto you.

 

We grew up to adults telling us to never burn bridges. But believe me, sometimes burning bridges help us find new rivers. If you can't handle being around them again, it's best for you to just slowly stop being their friends. Or you can talk to them. There is always an option to any problem, but one should never forget an exception: you should always be your own priority. You're living in this world for yourself. 

 

People are just mean, wicked, immoral, petty, or shtty sometimes. I'm really sorry you encounter these types of people that rejoice in the pain of others. But guess what? You're still here! Still fighting! Still willing to find other ways. This is what makes you stronger than them.

 

Also, I and the other members of this thread are willing to talk to you if you want to have someone to talk to.

 

I hope tonight the star would shine brighter for you. 

 

 

Edited March 25, 2018 by yeppuda

[yeppuda]

 

 

I've been thinking about it for a period of time, and i think i might lack emotions and i cant tell if i have a problem, i dont cry at all (even when a close relative died i didnt shed a tear which was so weird for me), when i get mad or sad im usually fine again in a matter of 2 hours or after taking a nap, but lately it takes more, idk i always feel like its fine, it happenss, but im scared that i might not realise i have a problem. I dont even know how should i tell about it for people to be able to advice me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes, the brain - when put into extreme pressure like grief, terror, or despair - will put itself into defense mode. You don't lack emotions, it's just that the emotions you feel are shorter compared to a normal person. (Disclaimer: due to the vagueness of the description, this comparing fact is hard to prove. Sorry) Maybe your brain decides to "shut down" these extreme emotions in a way to protect you. 

 

However, not feeling anything for a long period of time is a different matter.

 

I wish I had enough data to fully help you.   I'm sorry.

 

 

 

[yeppuda]

 

I hate myself tbvh. Clearly,

I'm not made for this world and vice versa.

 

 

 

 

 

Fun fact! Don't you know that a person hating themselves is considered a norm compared to a person loving themselves and not seeing any of their imperfections? 

 

I hope you cheered up a little bit. Let me ask you this question: What made you say you hate yourself? (Note: You can't answer with "everything". I want specific answers) And let's see if these things are legitimate reasons to hate yourself. 

 

I'll wait for your answer. 

 

 

 

[yeppuda]

please don't reply or quote the spoilered content below. just ignore it please

 

 

 

 

This is the very first time I'm going to address this issue in words and not just as a passing thought. 

 

I have a very unhealthy eating attitude. I obsess on exercising and losing weight and every day I'm getting more and more frustrated about myself, saying I didn't exercise well, I should have just eaten less, or I should have fasted longer. I became obsessed with being thin it's actually scary. I can tell the calories of any food you put in front of me. Tonight, I just had the first meal that's past 9pm after three or four months. I can't eat using normal-sized plates now. I got used to eating using a small ass saucer (yes, that little plate you put under your tea/coffee cup). I think my stomach has started to shrink because even though I've been eating small portions, halfway through the meal, I'm already full. 

 

I'm actually glad that I live with my parents now because if I lived alone, maybe I would have starved myself more. It's a scary thought - the things I can do to myself if left unattended. I guess I'm suffering from anorexia nervosa or that other exercise obsession eating disorder or body dysmorphia. I don't know. Bloody hell. One disorder might have been gone only to be replaced by another disorder.

 

I'm gonna wait for me to actually shred all these pounds and if I'm at my ultimate goal weight and still unhappy, then I'm finally going to look for help.

 

getting thin is hard. it's hard to stand when you feel light-headed every time. i wish i didn't wish i was thin

 

 

 

Edited June 10, 2018 by yeppuda