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saving it on here...just in case another angry parent finds out about fanfictions.

 

 

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one

Have you ever been influenced by someone so much that you start to change? For me, only a few number of people actually managed to change me. To be honest, only my parents and my precious sister are the only ones that altered my way of life. That is, until I met her. It wasn't a negative transformation. Rather, it was a transformation that changed me in a good way. Naturally, after a while, she managed to change my heart. I'm still not sure if it was infatuation or actual love, but it whatever it was, it was hard to get rid of. It's not proper to start a story there. I must begin at the beginning. 

I'm a born natural introvert. I stay to myself, usually focusing on a story I should write next. I don't wish to be such a loner, but I grew accustomed to it. It became the norm to have few friends, enjoy typing over any other recreation and mentally judging people for their conversations. Some may call that it was fate for me to actually accept the invitation to a friend's house party. I wasn't one to believe in all that, but I guess it was an odd occurrence. I knew there would be people. I knew there would be many people. I knew I would probably end up uncomfortable or leave early. I didn't care. I accepted the invite and arrived at the apartment around the same time everyone else arrived. 

Usually, when I meet anyone, I would get away with a simple 'hello' and continue with the day. The exact thing happened once more at Sehun's home. Simply greeting everyone, keeping the conversation short and sweet, I made my way around the room. There wasn't much to talk about, besides sports and the economy. That was overused as a conversation starter that it closed me into a social shell, separating myself from most people. I settled myself on a gray scale love seat, which was visited by few. I glanced to my right, spotting a book laying around on the end table. Indistinctly, I grabbed the book and began flipping through the book, noting the emotion obvious in the words and photography. Most would call it boring; I would call it my entertainment. 

Too absorbed in the self-entertainment, I didn't even notice the person who took a seat next to me. Just as I flipped the page, she cleared her throat, making her presence known. I'm so fortunate to report that I didn't immediately shoo her off, ending the conversation immediately. Rather, that so-called fate took its role and moved me to actually keep the meeting a possibility.  It was a short meeting but one that would be remembered for a long time. Normally, the dullness of people suffocated me, shooting down any of their hopes of new friends.

With her though, I wanted to say more than hello. I wanted to say more than my rehearsed conversation, which eventually led to a dead end. I wanted to actually talk to her, get to know her, and be a close friend with her. The weird thing is my wants were almost automatic. Why? She was different. Her voice alone was different, a sweet sound that tickled my ears. She wasn't trying look cute or sexy, rather, was being herself. Immediately, I could tell that she was willing to discuss sports and economy, but much rather converse about something interesting. The conversations she had been different. Instead of the typical 'hi, I'm so-and-so' or 'what's your name’, she asked me, "What is one truly defining moment in your life so far?" 

It hit me like a ton of bricks. She didn't even know me, yet that's the first question. It astounded me. I sat there, trying to process the question. I wasn't expecting questions like that whatsoever. I was expecting the typical, ordinary questions. I was expecting the dull, overused questions. I thought for a second before responding to her question. As I thought, I watched her, waiting patiently. Her appearance was just as abnormal as her question. She didn't look like a person that complains about mainstream trends. She wasn't one that wished to be born in an earlier era. Rather, she looked as if she just came from a time machine from the fifties and was sitting right in front of me. Though it was a plain striped sweater that abruptly stopped below her waist, it made her whole presence elegant. Her pants were solid black, yet looked classier than most of the clothes the other girls had on.

Other girls. I didn't even know what the other girls' personalities are like but something told me that 'other girls' fits them. It's as if the elegant woman sitting in front of me was her against the others. There was no need to add to her appearance or personality because, in my eyes, the other girls had nothing compared to her. She sat casually, not looking for looks or compliments, yet, her presence was shouting for attention. I felt a bit underdressed while standing next to her, oddly wanting to find a suit of sorts. Focusing back to her question, I hesitated before actually answering.   

"Well...I guess the moment I...When I saw my baby sister for the first time. When I got to hold her, it warmed my heart. That's when I became a big brother." 

"That's sweet. I'm Miyoung by the way, nice to meet you." I shook her hand and smiled. Her hand looked like everyone else's hand, but it felt as I was shaking hands with a cloud. I already felt a longing to hold her petite hand forever, never letting go. Why would I even think that?!

It was a nice meeting, but I was still intrigued by her choice in questions. I wanted to be asked more of those questions. I was curious about her style, which dispersed from anyone and everyone. She waved goodbye, leaving me by myself with a confused look and a want to learn more about this individual. I felt a heavy weight on my heart. Why didn't I ask for her number? Email address? Something! 

 

That 'thing' intervened once more, squeezing itself between me and the unknown girl that sat next to me while I waited for my bagel. I was briefly reading the newspaper, boredom engulfing me. Just when I was about to die of boredom, I heard that sweet voice. That sweet voice that was ringing in my head since the house party. 

"Yongguk! Do you remember me?" I turned to the girl sitting next to, afraid I was dreaming. There she was, in all her simplicity. I slowly nodded, unsure what to say or do next. "I was from the party the other night." I fastened my nod, afraid she would think I wasn't sure of our meeting. She grinned and extended her arm towards me. I accepted her handshake, privileged to hold her hand again. I shared a small smile, greeting her politely.

"How are you? I'm happy to see you again!" She can't even fathom how happy I was to see her.

"Good, good! How about you?"

"Fantastic. Never better!" Her beautiful smile grew, giving me good feeling that I was able to witness it. 

"Just curious, do you think the world would be engulfed or would it adapt to the heat if it went any closer to the sun?" I grinned, the question tickling my ear.

"Engulfed." She nodded as if she was a reporter that had her question answered by the president. 

"Miyoung! Pick up!" The cashier called Miyoung for order pickup, ending our conversation with Miyoung waving bye. I slowly waved back, a bit discouraged. I still didn't ask for her number! I guess the so called fate was only taunting me and really hates me and wants me to suffer. I guess I'm not meant to actually talk to her pass beautifully thought out questions. I guess it doesn't matter.

"Yongguk! Pick up!"

 

I tried to focus my mind on writing, hoping to forget about Miyoung. The funny thing is, I couldn't forget about her. I even stepped out of my comfort zone and met up with Sehun, despite my soon-to-read stack was calling my name.

So there I sat, on an old bar stool, with a nearly drunk friend sitting next to me. I couldn't believe I actually left the books for a tipsy Sehun.

"You like her, don't you?" Sehun, retorted, slurring his words.  He downed another drink, before proceeding on with his thoughts. "Do you even know her? She's weird, Yongguk! I don't think she fits you." 

"I know...I know..." I responded as if I believed him, but a part of me told me to ignore the idiot. I sighed, staring at the object that was hanging on the walls of the bar. It had a complicity that reminded me of her. Yet, it was the exact opposite from her. Catching my distracting mind, I turned to see the band playing swing, evoking the heavily impacted Hepburn style Miyoung presented. It was weird, I never thought about anyone this much, yet days prior to me sitting in that rigid bar stool, we only then met. It had a weird impact on my heart, weighing it down, at the same time feeling weightless. Is it even possible to already have developed feelings for someone that I don't even know too well?  â€œWhere does she live?" 

Sehun scoffed astonishment that I was still on this topic heavily obvious in his scoffing. "Hey! Do you even know that she's already dating someone! You need to fix your head on straight!" With that, Sehun slightly poked my forehead before he advanced to the nearest girl. I scratched my head, inquisitive about the fortunate individual that Miyoung is courting. Sighing, I took a sip of my drink, thinking of the information I just inquired. Sehun returned from making his rounds, noticing that I was still pondering on the thought. "You’re still thinking about her? She's dating Myungsoo!" I immediately recognized the name, requiring distaste for it. I kept that feeling in my heart despite the fact that I changed the subject. 

"Well, she's taken. Nothing I could do. How about that girl over there?" I pointed across the room, hoping to please my friend and get Miyoung out of my mind. I stood up and walked to the girl, hoping my mission would be successful. I did succeed, almost permanently erasing her from my mind. That is, until the girl opened her mouth.

"So, what's your favorite movie?" The plain question aggravated me. I faced the girl, holding back my obvious frustration and tried to smile. I noticed her typical skinny jeans, bland knitted sweater, and those god awful brown boots. I shook the fact that her taste in style was the same as every girl in that room, rather, tried to focus on the possibility that her conversation would be...meaningful.

"Let's talk about the sun." The flustered girl tried to understand what I meant, but ultimately failed.

"You mean...God's Son?" I sighed. 

"No, not Jesus. The sun that keeps the earth warm." 

"Like science? Are you a science teacher?" I stared at her blankly; keeping my comments inside as I silently shook his head.

"I'm a writer. Ah, I know! Let's talk about the English language. Isn't weird that a sentence can be 'James, while John had had "had", had had "had had"; "had had" had had a better effect on the teacher.'" Her eye repeatedly blinked, obviously not keeping up with me. I bet Miyoung would've understood me. I faked a smile before leaving the girl by herself. I returned to my rigid bar seat, grabbing my coat and leaving a few bills on the table. Sehun glanced up from his conversation, pause it and ran towards me. 

"What's wrong man? You're going to leave all these beautiful ladies?" I shyly smiled, not even attempting to explain. I nodded and advanced to the exit. I trekked onto the main road, thinking if I regretted his choice. Miyoung was already with someone, yet she wasn't already out of my thoughts. I strolled down the street, pondering over the matter until I reached my small loft home. 

Entering my home, I placed my coat on the rack and changed into more comfortable clothes. I grabbed an apple on the way to the couch. Collapsing onto the sofa, my body quickly sank into the plush sofa, as my mind sank into contemplation. Miyoung will likely never be mine, but no girl will ever compare. I thought for a bit before deciding the only way. Her presence alone was enjoyable. There's nothing wrong with being a friend of hers. Only to be friend zoned to the limit. That would never work because either one or both of us would suffer. 

Maybe steal her from Myungsoo. No no. Why would I steal such a precious girl from someone? That's coveting and childish.  Then it came to me. I found the lost equation. I realized how much I hated it but it was the only way. 

Just forget her. Easy enough. 

 

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I NEED TO READ THIS LATER XDD

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