setmefree 9 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Anyone want to share stories about their abusive and/or manipulative parent(s). I'm going through one right now and I thought it would be nice to relate or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nev Schulman 7,948 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 you okay? :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
setmefree 9 Posted December 27, 2014 Author Share Posted December 27, 2014 you okay? :( Kind of... but I know I will get through this somehow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapmon's Ahjussi Husband 2,299 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Parents are ususally that way, but that doesn't mean they don't care or love you ; i'm not so sure what's your personal experience Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nev Schulman 7,948 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Kind of... but I know I will get through this somehow. Please don't let it mess you up though, I know it can mentally and leave you fucked up but do not do anything that you will regret later on... stay strong please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symphonyâ„¢ 11,329 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Parents are ususally that way, but that doesn't mean they don't care or love you ; i'm not so sure what's your personal experience No they aren't Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tzuyoncé 633 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 my mom used to be manipulative sometimes to make me dislike my dad, just ignore and ignore you'll be fine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
queen 96 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Hey I don't really know how to start this off but I live with verbal and physically abusive parents. And I have no shame or embarrassment in talking about it. I've called CPS and Human Services about 3 times these past 4/5 years, they honestly didn't really do much. (This doesn't mean not to call them at all though) I've been "hit" about 10 times and wished I was dead millions. I feel like I should be removed out my house tbh but none of the services ever did anything so... fuck that. If you ever feel like talking to someone, the Crisis Hotline helps a lot and friends are the best in my opinion. I hope you get out of your situation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midna 2,032 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Yeah hence why I plan to move out the first chance I get Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
setmefree 9 Posted December 27, 2014 Author Share Posted December 27, 2014 Please don't let it mess you up though, I know it can mentally and leave you fucked up but do not do anything that you will regret later on... stay strong please I've been through a lot before. Because of that I'm able to understand and get through this. (A blessing in disguise. ) Thank you so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
setmefree 9 Posted December 27, 2014 Author Share Posted December 27, 2014 Hey I don't really know how to start this off but I live with verbal and physically abusive parents. And I have no shame or embarrassment in talking about it. I've called CPS and Human Services about 3 times these past 4/5 years, they honestly didn't really do much. (This doesn't mean not to call them at all though) I've been "hit" about 10 times and wished I was dead millions. I feel like I should be removed out my house tbh but none of the services ever did anything so... fuck that. If you ever feel like talking to someone, the Crisis Hotline helps a lot and friends are the best in my opinion. I hope you get out of your situation Didn't the police do something about it? Do you live in the US? Thank you. I hope you are okay too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
setmefree 9 Posted December 27, 2014 Author Share Posted December 27, 2014 my mom used to be manipulative sometimes to make me dislike my dad, just ignore and ignore you'll be fine Mine is the other way around. Although this situation shouldn't be ignored. Its getting worse and its being a horrible influencing towards my siblings. Changes are progressing through (divorce), which I hope continues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mayuyu 180 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 anyone telling you to ignore it, or that it happens all the time, needs to stop. abuse is not a normal thing that happens often, and trying to ignore it doesn't really work. i'm sorry that you're going through this, and i'm here if you want to talk. but to share stories: my mom is like that. she's extremely religious and conservative, and she always uses that as her excuse for emotionally, verbally and sometimes physically abusing people. she has like, anger issues, or something, and whenever she does something abusive and anyone tries to call her out on it, she'll accuse them of exactly what she's doing, regardless of how rationally and kindly we tried to say something. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lordKEN 1,608 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 My father is abusive. Been hit for the most littlest thing as a child. And growing up, I thought that was normal. I also thought I deserved it. I remember whenever I got hit, I would vent my anger at my siblings. I was less than 10 years old then. Imagine that. It came to the point where my siblings outcast-ed me. It was quite depressing since there were 3 of them, and they all gathered at my brother's room to play and left me alone. I started to be a better person when my mum sat me down and told me to stop being mean to my siblings because I was starting to be like my dad. Those words hit me through and I vowed to be a better person because I never want to be like him. Since then, I pretty much focus on the good things in life. I don't consider myself depressive despite what I go through everyday. I'm also the kind of person who seldom talks openly about my problems with my close friends (because this is the internet, and none of you know me irl, I don't mind sharing here lol). & it's not that I have no one to talk my problems to, I just don't feel the need to talk about it. Also, I always tell myself to keep all the mess at home, and that when I'm out of the house, it's pretty much freedom so I should be happy at all times. Another thing is that, I keep believing that my future will be all rainbows and happiness. That's my way of pushing through everyday. I keep telling myself that it will be better. Anyways, my father is still abusive till this day. He doesn't hit me anymore because I'm 19. But he verbally abuses me. He can call you the most insulting thing when he's mad. And then 30 minutes later, he will come back to you and say that he didn't mean it. He's one of those guys who can't control what they say when they're angry. So you can imagine how bad it gets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
setmefree 9 Posted December 27, 2014 Author Share Posted December 27, 2014 anyone telling you to ignore it, or that it happens all the time, needs to stop. abuse is not a normal thing that happens often, and trying to ignore it doesn't really work. i'm sorry that you're going through this, and i'm here if you want to talk. but to share stories: my mom is like that. she's extremely religious and conservative, and she always uses that as her excuse for emotionally, verbally and sometimes physically abusing people. she has like, anger issues, or something, and whenever she does something abusive and anyone tries to call her out on it, she'll accuse them of exactly what she's doing, regardless of how rationally and kindly we tried to say something. lol Wow, mine is the other way around. What your mom doing is called projection (a defense mechanism. I'm taking psychology. Haha) My dad uses projection too and a bunch of other defense mechanism/etc. I see right through him about everything he's doing, but he acts as the victim and innocent. I don't know what religion she is, but I'm religious too, but I'm not like that just to let you know. : P Thank you and I hope you're okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
setmefree 9 Posted December 27, 2014 Author Share Posted December 27, 2014 My father is abusive. Been hit for the most littlest thing as a child. And growing up, I thought that was normal. I also thought I deserved it. I remember whenever I got hit, I would vent my anger at my siblings. I was less than 10 years old then. Imagine that. It came to the point where my siblings outcast-ed me. It was quite depressing since there were 3 of them, and they all gathered at my brother's room to play and left me alone. I started to be a better person when my mum sat me down and told me to stop being mean to my siblings because I was starting to be like my dad. Those words hit me through and I vowed to be a better person because I never want to be like him. Since then, I pretty much focus on the good things in life. I don't consider myself depressive despite what I go through everyday. I'm also the kind of person who seldom talks openly about my problems with my close friends (because this is the internet, and none of you know me irl, I don't mind sharing here lol). & it's not that I have no one to talk my problems to, I just don't feel the need to talk about it. Also, I always tell myself to keep all the mess at home, and that when I'm out of the house, it's pretty much freedom so I should be happy at all times. Another thing is that, I keep believing that my future will be all rainbows and happiness. That's my way of pushing through everyday. I keep telling myself that it will be better. Anyways, my father is still abusive till this day. He doesn't hit me anymore because I'm 19. But he verbally abuses me. He can call you the most insulting thing when he's mad. And then 30 minutes later, he will come back to you and say that he didn't mean it. He's one of those guys who can't control what they say when they're angry. So you can imagine how bad it gets. I'm glad you're okay. I believe everything gets better too. I see conflicts/sufferings as a blessing in disguise and that its up to the individuals to be happy. (Its not easy, but its worth it.) Your dad seems like one of those relationships that go through the abusive cycle. They abusive you and then try to justify their actions with excuses or gifts, which shouldn't be acceptable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mayuyu 180 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Wow, mine is the other way around. What your mom doing is called projection (a defense mechanism. I'm taking psychology. Haha) My dad uses projection too and a bunch of other defense mechanism/etc. I see right through him about everything he's doing, but he acts as the victim and innocent. I don't know what religion she is, but I'm religious too, but I'm not like that just to let you know. : P Thank you and I hope you're okay. oh, i didn't know it was called that. I didn't even know it had a name, but now that I think about it, it's rather obvious. thanks for telling me! She's Catholic, and I believe in God too, just not the way she does. I'm fine, for the time being, and I hope you'll be fine as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MK15 2,108 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Cut off all ties as soon as possible That's what i had planned to do after university but they threw me out as soon as I turned 18 so I left and never came back. It's been almost 9 years and it's probably the best thing that has ever happened to me tbh now that I look back on it (even though it was really tough at first because I had literally no where to go when they threw me out). Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
queen 96 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Didn't the police do something about it? Do you live in the US? Thank you. I hope you are okay too. yeah I live in the US. But I move a lot (NY, OR, NE, [then to England for a year] now in CO). I'm just on track with CPS but not with the police because of my visa (I was born in S.Korea) CPS told me there was an issue where I couldn't be put in a foster home for some reason. So I'm moving back next year alone and cutting off all ties with human satans these people Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloupipoo 1,619 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 My mom is a manipulative controlling cunt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
setmefree 9 Posted December 27, 2014 Author Share Posted December 27, 2014 Cut off all ties as soon as possible That's what i had planned to do after university but they threw me out as soon as I turned 18 so I left and never came back. It's been almost 9 years and it's probably the best thing that has ever happened to me tbh now that I look back on it (even though it was really tough at first because I had literally no where to go when they threw me out). Good luck I would, but its not simple. Financial and stuff like that. I would want the rest of my family to cut ties with my dad as well, because my dad absolutely abusive and its dangerous. I don't get why my mom doesn't do anything about it when its so obvious at how abusive he is... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoplz 2,333 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Cut off all ties as soon as possible That's what i had planned to do after university but they threw me out as soon as I turned 18 so I left and never came back. It's been almost 9 years and it's probably the best thing that has ever happened to me tbh now that I look back on it (even though it was really tough at first because I had literally no where to go when they threw me out). Good luck U've never see them again?? Have they try to reach U?When I came out my mom threw me out and I'm not allowed to see my family anymore. But honestly I don't care.Wow...how long has it been, If u don't mind me asking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MK15 2,108 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 I would, but its not simple. Financial and stuff like that. I would want the rest of my family to cut ties with my dad as well, because my dad absolutely abusive and its dangerous. I don't get why my mom doesn't do anything about it when its so obvious at how abusive he is... I know it's not that simple, that's why I wanted to leave after university but they chose to throw me out at 18 knowing that I had nowhere to go and no financial support whatsoever. That's also why I said it was tough, I struggled for 5 years before being finally financially stable so if you can wait, just stay and try to avoid them as much as possible I guess... U've never see them again?? Have they try to reach U? Wow...how long has it been, If u don't mind me asking 9 years and no I've never seen them again and they never tried to reach me either. They clearly stated it when they threw me out, tbh they probably think I'm dead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
setmefree 9 Posted December 27, 2014 Author Share Posted December 27, 2014 I know it's not that simple, that's why I wanted to leave after university but they chose to throw me out at 18 knowing that I had nowhere to go and no financial support whatsoever. That's also why I said it was tough, I struggled for 5 years before being finally financially stable so if you can wait, just stay and try to avoid them as much as possible I guess... 9 years and no I've never seen them again and they never tried to reach me either. They clearly stated it when they threw me out, tbh they probably think I'm dead It is okay if I ask why did they throw you out? I hope you're okay now. The only problem is my dad and a sibling actually. I wouldn't want to leave the rest of my family members behind, otherwise I would probably be worried sick for them, especially when they don't deserve what they're getting right now. I've been asking for help. Its been progressing a bit and I hope it continues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MK15 2,108 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 It is okay if I ask why did they throw you out? I hope you're okay now. The only problem is my dad and a sibling actually. I wouldn't want to leave the rest of my family members behind, otherwise I would probably be worried sick for them, especially when they don't deserve what they're getting right now. I've been asking for help. Its been progressing a bit and I hope it continues. They had no real reason, they just threw me out because I turned 18 so they weren't forced to support me anymore I guess. I was a really good kid and never got into trouble, always had excellent grades so idk I think they were just shitty parents I hope you'll get the help you need and will get out of that situation as soon as possible, good luck to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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