Gloupsidou 2,047 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Considering our era of consumerism, most people consume then throw away relationships. I personally am a big romantic so I cannot deal with the cold demeanor of most relationships I am surrounded with. Thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzmeys 146 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 I'm a big sucker for chivalry and romantics so no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIM£ 2,060 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Romance has to do with courting, and courting was prevalent because you had to court(to get married) to fuck. Now we can just fuck, so yes, romance is mostly dead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloupsidou 2,047 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 Romance has to do with courting, and courting was prevalent because you had to court(to get married) to fuck. Now we can just fuck, so yes, romance is mostly dead I've turned down many ppl on the account of not desiring meaningless sex/a physically-bound relationship *cries* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ccynd 912 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIM£ 2,060 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 I've turned down many ppl on the account of not desiring meaningless sex/a physically-bound relationship *cries* You could try internet dating, besides the occasional predator there are websites for people looking for "meaningful" relationships I guess? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloupsidou 2,047 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 You could try internet dating, besides the occasional predator there are websites for people looking for "meaningful" relationships I guess? I tried tinder as a ~social experiment~ and lasted like 2 days so no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
denizen mars 5,911 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Depends on what you call 'romance'. Treating someone as if they are helpless, getting married when you barely know someone, not being able to date in public? That's no longer in vogue, and it's a good thing too. Doing nice, thoughtful things for your partner? I don't think that will ever go out of fashion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloupsidou 2,047 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 Depends on what you call 'romance'. Treating someone as if they are helpless, getting married when you barely know someone, not being able to date in public? That's no longer in vogue, and it's a good thing too. Doing nice, thoughtful things for your partner? I don't think that will ever go out of fashion. You're taking the term "romantic" way too litterally, you need to chillout Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
denizen mars 5,911 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 You're taking the term "romantic" way too litterally, you need to chillout You didn't make it clear what you were asking. Some people think forbidden romance is romantic. Some people think a man pulling out chairs and ordering for a woman is romantic. Some people think falling in love 'at first sight' and marrying quickly is romantic. Romeo and Juliet is considered the textbook western example of what romance is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloupsidou 2,047 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 You didn't make it clear what you were asking. Some people think forbidden romance is romantic. Some people think a man pulling out chairs and ordering for a woman is romantic. Some people think falling in love 'at first sight' and marrying quickly is romantic. Romeo and Juliet is considered the textbook western example of what romance is. You're mixing chivalry, romance and fiction together like n o sis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
denizen mars 5,911 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 You're mixing chivalry, romance and fiction together like n o sis They're related. The concept of romantic love as we know it today has its roots in ballads about people being chivalrous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloupsidou 2,047 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 They're related. The concept of romantic love as we know it today has its roots in ballads about people being chivalrous. I was talking about consumerism and romantic love, not fucking ballads whether they are related to the topic or not has nothing to do with it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Messica 5,463 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Considering our era of consumerism, most people consume then throw away relationships. I personally am a big romantic so I cannot deal with the cold demeanor of most relationships I am surrounded with. Thoughts? well I watched this documentary and it is becoming a dead thing in Japan. Like its only a fantasy but people there arent really seeking romance as much anymore. Like 50-60% of men and women 23-35 are single in Japan according to figures from that documentary. Like they would have company and dating bars. Escorts a big thing there, but the consumers arent really looking for sex there either, just friendship and to be entertained. Then theres the huge porn culture there that doesnt really need to be addressed. There's like rooms where people hire a room to be with a girl just to lie down with, not much touching there either. Just to have someone listen and to have company with. This girl working there said she hates seeing happy couples and she wouldnt ever really date. Also women prefer to work than to date and get married. Its a really bad thing thinking that motherhood necessarily prevents people from acheiving their dreams. Id love to source that though. im a big romantic too, I like showing feelings and making that girl feel like she's first. And I also hate the state of cold relationships around me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nev Schulman 7,938 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 I am romantic but I have no one to be romantic to *-* so I guess yes tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloupsidou 2,047 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 well I watched this documentary and it is becoming a dead thing in Japan. Like its only a fantasy but people there arent really seeking romance as much anymore. Like 50-60% of men and women 23-35 are single in Japan according to figures from that documentary. Like they would have company and dating bars. Escorts a big thing there, but the consumers arent really looking for sex there either, just friendship and to be entertained. Then theres the huge porn culture there that doesnt really need to be addressed. There's like rooms where people hire a room to be with a girl just to lie down with, not much touching there either. Just to have someone listen and to have company with. This girl working there said she hates seeing happy couples and she wouldnt ever really date. Also women prefer to work than to date and get married. Its a really bad thing thinking that motherhood necessarily prevents people from acheiving their dreams. Id love to source that though. Oh I watched that too and yeah it's really sad... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Messica 5,463 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Oh I watched that too and yeah it's really sad... Do you think sex may have something to do with it? Like people may expend all that intimacy a bit too quickly that the relationship gets kinda boring instead of finding meaningful and creative ways to please their SO? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloupsidou 2,047 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 Do you think sex may have something to do with it? Like people may expend all that intimacy a bit too quickly that the relationship gets kinda boring instead of finding meaningful and creative ways to please their SO? Imo that's the main reason why relationships die out so quickly, which is why I am committed to my no sex unless we've dated for a long while rule (even if nobody actually wants to put up with it and leaves my ass tbh) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tousle 1,178 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Messica 5,463 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Imo that's the main reason why relationships die out so quickly, which is why I am committed to my no sex unless we've dated for a long while rule (even if nobody actually wants to put up with it and leaves my ass tbh) I think its pornography in culture too. Sometimes we get too thirsty and thats what satisfies our sexual desire until our relationship with our SO is developed enough for sex. We can get disappointed of that experience because of porn and it can give us a false image of what sex is like with our SO (even though real sex is better). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloupsidou 2,047 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 I think its pornography in culture too. Sometimes we get too thirsty and thats what satisfies our sexual desire until our relationship with our SO is developed enough for sex. We can get disappointed of that experience because of porn and it can give us a false image of what sex is like with our SO (even though real sex is better). I had a convo about that with my friends like this week omg lemme go get the quotes Me: "Hey, do you think the issue depicted in Don Jon (boys who find real sexual intercourse underwhelming compared to porn) finds its female counterpart in Nicholas Sparks-ish romance novels and the fictive ideal of love? Discuss." Him: "Yeah they both depict a desire for an ideal (and impossible) standard which can never be truly reach, and going off what is more attractive to each gender. Men are more interested in a bodily and physical experience than an emotional experience, just like women rather have an emotional connection than a purely physical experience." Conclusion: "Well then they're escapism tools permeated with socially constructed ideals (most teenagers internalize the messages those "escapism tools" convey as ideals before they use them for escapism) Yeah I think there's a switch in the purpose of those tools during the cycle of maturation (teenagers use them to construct an ideal since they have no experience, and (young) adults use them as escapism tools since their ideals are already constructed and they have experienced "the world")" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Messica 5,463 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 I had a convo about that with my friends like this week omg lemme go get the quotes Me: "Hey, do you think the issue depicted in Don Jon (boys who find real sexual intercourse underwhelming compared to porn) finds its female counterpart in Nicholas Sparks-ish romance novels and the fictive ideal of love? Discuss." Him: "Yeah they both depict a desire for an ideal (and impossible) standard which can never be truly reach, and going off what is more attractive to each gender. Men are more interested in a bodily and physical experience than an emotional experience, just like women rather have an emotional connection than a purely physical experience." Conclusion: "Well then they're escapism tools permeated with socially constructed ideals (most teenagers internalize the messages those "escapism tools" convey as ideals before they use them for escapism) Yeah I think there's a switch in the purpose of those tools during the cycle of maturation (teenagers use them to construct an ideal since they have no experience, and (young) adults use them as escapism tools since their ideals are already constructed and they have experienced "the world")" LOL fuck sex other than making kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myugyu 1,660 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Imo that's the main reason why relationships die out so quickly, which is why I am committed to my no sex unless we've dated for a long while rule (even if nobody actually wants to put up with it and leaves my ass tbh) I have the same rule, I have a 5-6 month rule and yes unfortunately it's a problem to the guys I date. lol w.e. I kind of agree with you that it seem like people are just throwing relationship away but I'm still hopeful that romance still exist.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orphan 775 Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 Nope. Still exist. Just in different forms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloupsidou 2,047 Posted December 10, 2014 Author Share Posted December 10, 2014 I have the same rule, I have a 5-6 month rule and yes unfortunately it's a problem to the guys I date. lol w.e. I kind of agree with you that it seem like people are just throwing relationship away but I'm still hopeful that romance still exist.. That makes me rlly sad tbh :'( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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