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Seriously, help me get two creepy guys off my back! Please!


jelly97bean

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(long post, sorry)

 

Ever since I was in high school and became friends with my current bff, I've felt something weird about her much older brother (I was 15 and he was 22). I thought I was just overanalysing his stares and gazes, until this past few months. Now that I'm out of high school (I'm still illegal, tho), he's become a bit more forward with his interest, even going as far as to flirt with me when my family is around. I've always been a bit creeped out by his constant, long stares, but currently he's beginning to blatantly stare at my body and do perverted expressions while at it, and more than once has "accidentally" touched me. 

 

The one that's really bothering me, though, is the brother's best friend. I tagged along my bff to a concert that both of them and a couple other of their friends were attending (big mistake from my part). The bro's friend kept groping my body even though I kept shaking him off me. He also began scaring off any guy (friend or stranger) that got near me, and my bff gave him my number (she thinks it's cool that an older guy is "vying" for my attention). Now he keeps texting me provocative stuff, liking my pics in Facebook (plus leaving a certain kind of comment that I'm not comfortable with anybody, including myself, reading), and asking me when I'm turning eighteen (which is in a couple of days, not that he knows). I tell him to stop bothering me (and I don't answer his texts half of the time), but he thinks I'm "shy" or something, and he keeps telling me that once I turn 18 he'll "awaken" me or some shit like that, and then begins to act all "romantic" saying stuff like how he can imagine himself spending the rest of his life with me. 

 

I want to say that I already have a boyfriend because I've heard them talking about that and thankfully they do respect a taken girl. The thing is that I can't lie because of my bff and her connection with them. She knows about her bro's friend's "feelings" (not about her bro's) and supports my "relationship" with the bro's bff, so I don't think she's gonna let me lie. 

 

This is taking a toll on my relationship with her, because I'm avoiding hanging out with her since I know one of those two will always be around. 

 

What can I do?

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what pigs

 

talk to your friend about it... cut off connections, etc. other than that I don't really know.

 

ohh and I would be more wild. if someone is disgusting enough to do what that guy was doing to you, shaking it off won't do it. you need to be forward and blunt. confrontation.

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i think i just found your christmas present

 

Hello-Kitty-Taser_B29DF403.jpg

 

 

but seriously 1st of call ur phone company to BLOCK these guys from texting u and tell you're friend you feel uncomfortable and wont be going anywhere she goes as long as her brother is tagging along and while you're at it tell your parents so they can tell her parents about his DISTURBING behaviour and show them the texts which im pretty sure could be considered sexual harassment or something by the cops even worse if your a minor

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Try to firmly deny them and tell them to stop. If they don't, just report them for harassing you. I'm assuming it's illegal even in your country? 

 

Or lie and tell your bff that you found your one true love here on OH and that you are both madly in love. That should count as a boyfriend. :)

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Cut any ties with him, block him everywhere and delete his number. 

 

If you think it would help, then maybe do mention to him or to pass around that you have a boyfriend before blocking him.

 

If after all of this he keep pestering you, then talk to your parents and call the police.

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1. Tell your "friend" flat out that whatever SHE thinks about these two showing interest in you, YOU (the only one whose opinion matters here) find it creepy, it makes you uncomfortable, and her brother's friend has been downright predatory.

 

If she can't support you on this (and all she needs to do is NOT give out your personal contact information (she could also reiterate your disinterest and discomfort with the situation and ask them to leave you alone)), then she's not your friend at all and you need to drop her.

 

2. Tell both of the men, either to their face or even via text, that YOU are not interested and the situation makes you uncomfortable. Do not start with "I'm sorry, but" or include "please" anywhere in your comments. You have nothing to apologize for, and you're not ASKING them to stop, you are TELLING THEM to stop. Tell them flat out. Leave them as little room as possible to misunderstand (other than what they'll make up about your motivations in the back of their creeper-brains, and you have no control over that).

 

3. Get your parents and other close friends on board. If you have to change your number, advise them that these people should not be given your new number, and if they ignore you, well... then you know who else not to trust. You don't have to be overly explicit about why; that these guys are hitting on you and ignoring you when you tell them to stop is MORE than enough reason for anyone who gives a damn about you to support you in this.

 

4. I don't do the social media thing, but look at your settings on all platforms you use. Unfriend them, block them, change permissions so they can't post on your wall or even see your posts if possible. Do not encourage the creepers.

 

5. Sometimes creeper behavior escalates. If you see ANY signs of this, talk to your parents again and consider the possibility of going to the police. Towards that end, documenting the truly creepy things they've said and done could be helpful.

 


I want to say that I already have a boyfriend because I've heard them talking about that and thankfully they do respect a taken girl.

 

Also no, they do not "respect" a 'taken' girl. They likely respect that she has a boyfriend who might kick them in the teeth if they turned their creeper-gaze on her.

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First of all, talk to your "friend". Even if she supports you "relationship" with her brother's best friend, she should always have your best interests in mind, since she is your friend. 

Secondly, flat out reject him. If that doesn't stop him, tell him you're reporting him for sexual harassment, because that is sexual harassment.

Thirdly, tell your parents, they can be of great help.

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Cut all ties immediately. Reject everything they say or whatever, just make it known that you're seriously not interested and never will be. 

They sound very forceful and it's honestly scary hearing that. 

 

And like what others say, pepper spray, etc, to keep you safe. And if it gets worse, involve your parents and or (if you need to) the police. Don't take chances.

 

Good luck and please stay safe! 

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