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OneHallyu

Want to cry your eyes out? [fanfic]


churndownforwhat

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Just a quick recommendation from a fellow writer...stick with solid black for font colors. And if you want to go outside that, avoid pastels on white. It's terribly hard to read.

 

Your grammar is fine, but the phrasing is a tad bit awkward. If I had to be honest, it's sad, but not terribly sad...not enough development to give me those "feelings." Overall, it's very sweet and nice for an one shot.

 

Good luck with the competition though.

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Just a quick recommendation from a fellow writer...stick with solid black for font colors. And if you want to go outside that, avoid pastels on white. It's terribly hard to read.

 

Your grammar is fine, but the phrasing is a tad bit awkward. If I had to be honest, it's sad, but not terribly sad...not enough development to give me those "feelings." Overall, it's very sweet and nice for an one shot.

 

Good luck with the competition though.

thanks for the advice! I was kind of taking a risk with the colors, hoping it would be similar colors to balloons..but i guess it didn't work. Should I change it to black or darken the colors? what do you think

Which parts being specific? (so i can fix it) I wasn't wanting it too sad but more like a good feeling sad, you know? But if i were to change anything to give more 'feeling' what do you suggest I should add?

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