Junebuggie 942 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Over the summer, I got a job at a summer youth camp as an assistant counselor. After working there for a few weeks, I got close with everyone; both coworkers and supervisors. However, one of my supervisors took interest in me and slowly the feeling became mutual. We decided to give dating a try and luckily, it went extremely well. We were both very fond of each other and made it official after few more dates. But because he was my supervisor, we had to keep it super professional during work. One day after work, everyone was hanging out outside of school because work had just ended. We were both holding hands because our shifts were over, so we resumed back to being boyfriend and girlfriend. Our boss walked out of the building at that moment and saw us holding hands; realizing we were in a relationship. The next day, we were both told that it was best if we weren't in a relationship, but it was optional since they can't force us to breakup. We decided to stay in a relationship ofc, but during work we couldn't look at each other or speak to each other unless it concerned work. We couldn't even sit next to each other, just to make things not obvious. The camp ended a month ago and now the after school program is starting. I asked if I could work there again as a counselor, but my boss said no because of my relationship with the supervisor and that things would be awkward if we break up. PAUSE. If we break up? I'm sorry, but last time i checked, you shouldn't hire me because of bad work ethics, not because of a possibility that I MAY OR MAY NOT break up with my boyfriend. My boss has always been a well-known sexist amongst the employees, so while my boyfriend is keeping his position AND getting a raise. I'm stuck with no job over the possibility of my boyfriend and I breaking up, which honestly shouldn't concern my boss that much since it regards my personal life. Anyway, i just find it unfair that I don't get to keep my job because of this. I mean, at least not hire me because I don't do my work, but I did the most hours during the summer and never took a day off. I even volunteered an extra hour everyday, just to help out my counselor. What makes it even more stupid is that they're in need of people right now because no counselor or assistant counselor from the summer is working there again and they only insist on hiring people who have worked for them before. TL;DR -I am dating my supervisor -My boss found out -Won't hire me again for after school position because of the possibility I may or may not break up with my boyfriend/supervisor -my boss is a well-known sexist -my boyfriend gets to keep his job + get raise What do you guys think? Is it fair or not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.am.so.hero 219 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Obviously unfair. Is there HR you can talk to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloupsidou 2,047 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 fucking stupid file a complaint to the work union Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mog 5,083 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I would fight that if it isn't against company policy for coworkers to date (because some companies do have a rule against it but that's something you should know ahead of time) since otherwise, no, it's not fair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mew21 3,160 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 not fair at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teru 22,363 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 nope that's bullshit drag him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junebuggie 942 Posted October 14, 2014 Author Share Posted October 14, 2014 I would fight that if it isn't against company policy for coworkers to date (because some companies do have a rule against it but that's something you should know ahead of time) since otherwise, no, it's not fair. I was never informed about the rule beforehand. Otherwise, I would have never went in for the relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgl 5,919 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 That's a really shitty and unfair situation, but if you somehow manage to fight this and get hired again, would you really want to work under a sexist boss that probably doesn't want you there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Get The Job Done 303 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I don' think it's fair, especially since they need workers. Beggars can't be choosers.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myugyu 1,660 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Definitely unfair situation.... your boyfriend didn't back you up? To be honest though I wouldn't want to work for him, even if I like the coworkers or the job itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PShell 1,522 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 His choice makes sense. Having a boss dating an employee under him is a big liability and could open him up to trouble. I think he made the smart decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junebuggie 942 Posted October 14, 2014 Author Share Posted October 14, 2014 That's a really shitty and unfair situation, but if you somehow manage to fight this and get hired again, would you really want to work under a sexist boss that probably doesn't want you there? That's why I'm not gonna work there even if they do offer me the job (since they're in desperate need of people rn). Even though, I think it's extremely unfair for me, I wouldn't want to work in an environment where I'm extremely uncomfortable anyway. I told my boyfriend about this, but he doesn't seem to think it's unfair and thinks i'm overreacting, which I probably am. Definitely unfair situation.... your boyfriend didn't back you up? To be honest though I wouldn't want to work for him, even if I like the coworkers or the job itself. Nah, he's getting a raise, so all he sees is rainbows and unicorns rn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ogre Shrek 8,980 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Frankly, it can be a nightmare working with colleagues who are in a relationship. Even if the relationship is stable and the couple behaves professionally, the workplace dynamics can be tricky to manoeuvre (especially if one of them is in a supervisory role over the other). If they break up, the fallout can be very, very messy. So it makes a lot of sense to have HR policies in place to avoid such situations where feasible (including, where required, posting one of them to different department). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgl 5,919 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 That's why I'm not gonna work there even if they do offer me the job (since they're in desperate need of people rn). Even though, I think it's extremely unfair for me, I wouldn't want to work in an environment where I'm extremely uncomfortable anyway. I told my boyfriend about this, but he doesn't seem to think it's unfair and thinks i'm overreacting, which I probably am. You're right to react like that and no one can blame you, but from his position everything looks good to him so it's normal he doesn't understand. In cases like this it's best just to rant for a while to let it all out, then move on and forget, there's nothing to gain in thinking about it for too long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myugyu 1,660 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Nah, he's getting a raise, so all he sees is rainbows and unicorns rn. I'm sorry... That's messed up. Personally I'd be pissed, but then w.e. good for him. The boss is a douche bag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ccynd 912 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 It's unfair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheVirginThotty 3,905 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Is the supervisor hot? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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