Soleil 728 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 My boyfriend has been in a certain situation for about 3 weeks now, he completely hates the way he looks. I really try to understand but honestly, he looks good, even at his worst, he'd be considered average. But he thinks he's completely disgusting and i'm quite sure he's going through a depressive episode. He can't stop thinking about how he's "ugly" all day and I really try to convince him he's not but he says his opinion of himself is the only thing that matters. I suggested that he goes to a psychologist, but he refuses to. He says he wants to deal with this alone but I see him hurting every day and it really worries me. How can I help him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PornStar 237 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 he doesn't need psychologist he needs plastic surgeon, but i don't recommend that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soleil 728 Posted September 16, 2014 Author Share Posted September 16, 2014 he doesn't need psychologist he needs plastic surgeon. But he looks fine, he used to think he was nice looking before, this just started happening lately... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
핵! 6,020 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Unfortunately this is all psychological and there really isn't much you can do about it. Try your hardest to get him to see a therapist to get him to work through his problems with a certified professional. It's a little sad how much emphasis our world places on beauty (this doesn't only apply to humans).... I hope your boyfriend gets better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taemin 220 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 I don't really have any advice, other than 'keep doing what you do'. I don't know if this is really a serious thing, or if it's something that just blows over in some days/weeks. But if it's serious, I'd keep on trying to get him to see a therapist or psychologist, and keep telling him he isn't ugly. Or perhaps try to get his mind off of it. Like go do fun things with him and change the subject into something more fun whenever it's brought up. Idk. It's pretty hard to help someone who doesn't want help. I kinda understand him tho. I've always had that kind of mentality of 'I want/need to do this on my own' aswell. Sometimes because I felt like nobody would be able to help me, and sometimes because I felt like I should be able to do it by myself (like, 'other people solve their issues on their own, and if I can't do that aswell, I'm weak and pathetic'.) Maybe that's something you can talk to him about?That there's no shame in getting help. And that it upsets you to see him suffer like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♥SNS-Shinomiya♥ 420 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Just do subtle gestures like hold his hand, rub his face, other physical touches just to show him that he isnt ugly. Plus your opinion should mean something to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PornStar 237 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 But he looks fine, he used to think he was nice looking before, this just started happening lately... did something change, his weight? he got injured? that's so strange! i don't understand sorry try to make him feel that he is the most handsome in your eyes.. you are the only one who can make him feel better atm.. i wish he will be ok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soleil 728 Posted September 16, 2014 Author Share Posted September 16, 2014 Unfortunately this is all psychological and there really isn't much you can do about it. Try your hardest to get him to see a therapist to get him to work through his problems with a certified professional. It's a little sad how much emphasis our world places on beauty (this doesn't only apply to humans).... I hope your boyfriend gets better. I don't really have any advice, other than 'keep doing what you do'. I don't know if this is really a serious thing, or if it's something that just blows over in some days/weeks. But if it's serious, I'd keep on trying to get him to see a therapist or psychologist, and keep telling him he isn't ugly. Or perhaps try to get his mind off of it. Like go do fun things with him and change the subject into something more fun whenever it's brought up. Idk. It's pretty hard to help someone who doesn't want help. I kinda understand him tho. I've always had that kind of mentality of 'I want/need to do this on my own' aswell. Sometimes because I felt like nobody would be able to help me, and sometimes because I felt like I should be able to do it by myself (like, 'other people solve their issues on their own, and if I can't do that aswell, I'm weak and pathetic'.) Maybe that's something you can talk to him about? That there's no shame in getting help. And that it upsets you to see him suffer like that. Thanks for the advice, I will try my best to get him to see a professional.. Just do subtle gestures like hold his hand, rub his face, other physical touches just to show him that he isnt ugly. Plus your opinion should mean something to him. I do touch him a lot to make him feel appealing but I don't think it has any effect on him, also, he says that my opinion matters, it's just that his opinion of himself matters more than mine.. did something change, his weight? he got injured? that's so strange! i don't understand sorry try to make him feel that he is the most handsome in your eyes.. you are the only one who can make him feel better atm.. i wish he will be ok Nothing happened, his view of himself just suddenly changed, he doesn't understand it himself :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♔Nippon Girl♥ 737 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 sorry I don't know what I can say to help you cuz I am similar to your BF in this way , I think I am ugly all the time eventhought I look fine I think it have to do with his feeling at the moment I only think of that when I am depressed or sad when I am happy I don't think of how I look Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriel Celeste 2,261 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 tell him theres somebody uglier than him out there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Be natural 188 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 did something change, his weight? he got injured? that's so strange! i don't understand sorry try to make him feel that he is the most handsome in your eyes.. you are the only one who can make him feel better atm.. i wish he will be ok omg this is not reall.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PornStar 237 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 omg this is not reall.. do you usually post just to gain more wons? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Be natural 188 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 do you usually post just to gain more wons? what do you mean.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloupsidou 2,047 Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 You can't give people self-confidence, they need to build it themselves, through their own efforts. Let him be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzy Quatro 1,441 Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 That sounds messed up. For most guys it would be enough if they had a girlfriend and receive compliments every now and them to be confident about the way they look. You could try to talk to him about what exactly he doesn't like about him in the first place or just trying to find out more about his exact thoughts on this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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