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OneHallyu Will Be Closing End Of 2023 ×
OneHallyu

Only 1 U Need Connoisseur

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Posts posted by Only 1 U Need Connoisseur

  1.  

    Well Mystogan could have made it in the list if he is still a member of Fairy Tail.. Sad that we did not get to see much from him, he was my favorite male character. Now its Zeref

     

    ME TOO. Zeref is hot rlytearpls.png rlytearpls.png rlytearpls.png But Jellal is also quite.. fine. 

     

    Also I think Gildarts is prob one of the most powerful on a serious note. imstupid.png Weird that he is Cana's dad tho. 

  2.  

    I hope someone's with him then, i've heard cases of people committing suicide as a result of close loved ones passing; some can even pass away in their sleep as a result of a broken heart, but that one's an extreme case. I'm hoping SM will send them all to counseling instead of doing nothing~ I haven't even heard anything about Taemin yet~ unsure.png

     

    I don't trust korea counseling. They treat mental health like a cut. 

  3. I don't know how to feel right now.

     

    Anger, frustration, helplessness, sadness

     

    I've been going back and forth between reading posts about Jonghyun and being numb and in a way accepting what happened and then realizing "Jonghyun's dead" and breaking out into tears again and looking for something to distract myself with. And repeat.

     

    Bye kpop. I'm out. I can't do this anymore. Shinee isn't shinee without Jonghyun, and kpop isn't kpop without Shinee.

    SHINee is SHINee with or without Jonghyun. SHINee is FIVE. Even though Jonghyun is gone, he will be a memory for us all. 

  4. I'm home. I can finally collect some thoughts. 

    Basically. God woke me up around 6-6:30 AM as soon as the first report of Jonghyun came out. Maybe he was telling me.. my baby was in danger. I stayed up until the official statement, therefore I did attend work with 4 hours of sleep. I cried a lot, telling myself he would be ok before the statement hit.. But when it did. I was just. Idk. I wasn't shocked because I knew he had to be gone. Part of me wished he wasn't. It's carbon monoxide.. At least his death.. was peaceful for the most part. Carbon Monoxide basically puts you unconscious. So anything after that.. he wouldn't know really. I told myself I would not cry when the statement came out . But, as soon as it did. I did listen to An Ode To You.. when his part came on.. I couldn't hold it back. The song.. it speaks to me as a fan of both shinee and jonghyun. The song can go both ways for us. 

     

    I’ll be your song
    I’ll become quiet music
    So I can wipe away
    all your painful tears
    I’ll be your song
    I’ll be your breath
    that you can comfortably breathe
    If only I can take a step to you
     
    I went off to work, I cried when I walked in. I was too overwhelmed. I couldn't get that verse out of my head. I couldn't stop thinking about the one time I saw shinee as 5 in the flesh. The eye contact, the overall feeling. I couldn't help but feel so terrible knowing that I COULD do nothing to help jonghyun in his hard time. I wish I could help him, and hold him and tell him that I've been there. Maybe not to a place as dark as his. But I had my own dark place at one time. 
     
    Through the years jjong has always been my fav member. The shawols here know that. It's just so sad and heartbreaking knowing he was suffering so much and he just couldn't get the help he needed. He couldn't escape that dark place he crawled into. I will never forget jonghyun. SHINee is FIVE, forever and always. Even when they perform as 4, they are 5 at heart. If SHINee doesn't make it through this, I understand. I've been here 9 years with them since I was in diapers. The members are like family. They just lost their close friend, their co-worker, their brother. I 100% understand if they don't want to continue. But if they do, I will support them no less than before. If anything, I will be stronger. Jonghyun will forever be a part of me. In my heart and in my mind. He was my inspiration, my motivation, my idol. He will continue to be those things for me. Jonghyun is so strong. He faced everyday trying to crawl out of the darkness. It takes great strength to do that. To LIVE. But it takes even more strength and bravery to leave the ones you love most. Your family, friends, co-workers, fans. Jonghyun is an inspiration. 
     
    My heart aches so much. But I hope his posters will remain on my wall, his albums in my sight and in my ears. In my mind. I hope his album he worked hard on for us will be released. It seems he had plans for his and it was something more. I hope it gives us the closure we wanted, as the letter from NINE did give me a great deal of closure. Our poor baby was suffering so much in this harsh world. I am thankful that I am not in such a stage anymore. I know what its like to feel alone all the time, everyday. Hating the life you live. It's just a shame. Jonghyun was so talented, young.. he had a great life ahead of him. He will be forever missed. 
    • Like 4
  5. I hope sm releases his album. Suicide is usually never on the spot. Its planned usually every time. Maybe his album is his gift to us. A letter of his memories. I hope they will let us hear his hard word. He deserves it. I’m still at a loss for words... but my take is. Korea still won’t care about mental health. Look at the sht they said about top and he tried to kill himself more than once. What a horrible society. I hope they realize their issues.

    • Like 7
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