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deobizone

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Posts posted by deobizone

  1. ive been on kick of watching fitness infleuncer etc videos like runners or triathalon training ppl. i find it so interesting tho i can never really be runner... ngl i used to do track an field but i only did sprinting and the field stuff like, throwing things. i tried long distance and it was so tragic. only time since ive ran, ig outside of PE in school was like. i got out at like 9 or 10pm at work, and i like ran half way home bc i wanted to be texting with my gf faster. but i gave up half way thru and just walked fast. and swimming...i wont even try, i used to know how, but then i forgot and almost drowned my sister had to drag me out of the pool, so i havent tried in over a decade. but its still super interesting to me somehow. esp when it comes to eating as well. theres this one person on runner tiktok, he posts his eating of the day a lot and i find it interesting. he posts a lot of met rx bars to cuz sponsor and its gotten me back into them too cuz i used to have those a bit but havent in a long time. and other protein bars tbh. and some other things. and...im always on my cyclist shit watching random vids about that

    ngl these days i have even been interested in maybe getting road bike bc i find them cool, and in terms of excercise would do better for me. but im not into like the etiquette and such of it. like a road bike. i am on sidewalk and curb as mch as possible. and i do have a decent hybrid. like ive had it since spring 2020. its wisest thing ever i got legit bike instead of those at amazon or big box stores. albeit, i have messed with it, i rounded a bolt/nut on the bag carrier, and on one of the brakes. ig wishing i got slightly more expensive version in getting disc brakes. and i fucked up the cabling to the front deraileur so i just stopped using that one bc i didnt know how to adjust it. i think i really settled on i just am sticking to hybrid and too scared and into cruising vs going fast like being reasonable to be in street...

    Spoiler

    when recently theyve been repaving my street and obliterated the side of road/curb i stick to, at least is only in my town, and i live like 0.25 mile from town line (of town i work in) so is short distance i gotta be on road but its scary. yesterday ngl i took long way home through the town i actually live in, like x2 the distance. i have to cross street like  3 times before getting to my street to just adhere to how sidewalk will just disappear in some parts of roads. and i took long road home bc on my street not long from home theres a dq, wendys...target with a sbux... i like going there sometimes. but if i go home im just gonna be like..cba to leave the house after bein at work for  9 hrs. ..and i stopped to press beg button to go diagonal to go to the center these places are. but some haggard in the turn lane stopped trafic to just tell me to just go, assuming im going straight in a direction. like yelling at me for a minute. so im just like...over it, and go straight in a direction to go  home. i know im annoying to drivers at times when they try to be nice. but they really shouldnt get mad at me about it that im cautious. it has to be understanding if they know ivee gotten hit by a car on crosswalk, and still dealing with physical repercussion of it like having weak legs from being toppled over/under my bike, teeth knocked out, scar on inside of my lip, which changed shape of them slightly. its not noticable really to anyone but me prolly. (coming off a bit ranty prolly sorry. just rambling really. this hag yelling at me was unsettling. but my emotional ass didnt even cry about it, i just went home)i feel like a dck to pause traffic w a beg button. but its not safe otherwise... the reality is, drivers dont check at crosses for pedestrain, bikes on sidewalk or even on painted bike lane. id say at least half dont. then the road cyclist are annoying to them too bc theyre not as fast as their death machines

    . yeah i do not want to bike in road. that is terrifying...like isnt big enough of a word. there is none.

  2. i found him inch resting when he had that long hair bc i was trying to grow my hair out around that time too. then he cut his so im just like whatever. it was cute tho. not so much the purple version, but dark hair, going to around his chin length? fit him a lot. i guess i get it tho. i was so fascinated with growing my hair out until i had got it to around that length, like it was exciting for me, esp after i shaved my head twice in 2021, i didnt think i was getting to chin length again but i did, but then it was summer and hot af. bored of clipping/tying my hair everyday to have it not in my face everyday so i cut like 75% it off. now im missing it long lowkey. so we're growing again. i wonder if he is as well, does fit him

  3. Pink drink or dragon drink. Any the refresher I like esp w coconut milk... but these are my go to.  I've gotten cake pops a few times too and other menu things like bakery stuff,breakfast. But most the time I'm going there it's like I take long way home or go to target after work.  Bc that's only one nearby. I'm not getting like my go to Cafe drink which would ve matcha or chai w almond milk.

    I go to dunkin every day omw to work so I get that a lot.  But I kept getting coffee latte when I order chai so I been switching it up bc even tho it's happened to me like 5 times in a month I'd feel like a dick to complain or get drink remade. So I get psl or signature latte w almond milk.  I'm really not coffee person but I love the spice toppings in psl/signature latte. Very chai taste. In withdrawal ngl. I also been getting energy punch, and if they're out will get strawb dragonfruit refresher. A few times recently I got hot choco as drink. Maybe will try hot chai somedy bc its just so cold when lraving for work at 630am... im here for winter soon bc i will be devouring vanilla spices everyday,  might order 2 bc a lot of time ill go with 1 of those and 1 hot choco. But the vanilla spice i can do just two of those tbh. Also depending on the day might get sandwich, muffin,or donut/munchkins basically depend if I'll wake up in time to have breakfast or not. 

  4. 18 is closest . I had a coolpad Quattro when I was 15. Sometimes I look at it and I'm like damn this was shittiest phone. But it was just about cheap version of what phones were then.  I rmr years before I knew kids half my age with iphones but that's just growing up poor 😭

  5. I was thinking about upgrading to s22 ultra. Not that I needed one but I had basic s21. I wish I had at least a + model and always wanted to try a note model so ultra was appealing.

    Spoiler

    But when it released I was like.  Wait this phone is so fugly tho. If they rework the design I might cop a 23 or I'm just waiting to wear my phone down.  Cuz I actually broke (read:my coworker knocked it into metal on the floor bc she wasn't looking 😐) my s21 in July. And I am still new credit user so I couldn't get monthly pay, I think I could now actually cuz I got one to buy the new Samsung watch....I was just like..OK lemme buy refurbished. So I got note 10+. Now that's a gorgeousdesign phone.im looking at s23 model And the ultra... might be worse than s22 i-. Samsung is losing it with their camera design. Like the majority of their customer are the avg Joe and don't need constantly upgrading cameras  so it just looks insane to do a flagship mass marketed phone like that. I have old refurbished phone to the point I don't have most recent android/Samsung UI Update such disappointing to me.  But the quality of phone is perfect to me?

    I hope their designs improves or I'll stick to just a plus phone when I update bc the standard and plus models are cute

  6. 18, job in warehouse. i still have same job but do different thing most the time.

    i used to pack the order, i still do that 1/6 days i work, and 4/6 the other days theres like an hr or so when ill do for same day deliveries, theres not really anyone schedule to do, so the ppl left like the shelf stockers and me help do that stuff inbetween the 2 main shifts. i also stock the shelf sometimes. and clean the freezer....something managers started asking me to do years ago btu i still do even when not asked bc its a messs sometimes. But.... 5/6 days majority of my job is just load...unloading trucks

  7. Most likely...socks . If I fall asleep straight after work I'll still be in sneakers or boots..or if it's cold ig. I just showered and I put my timberlands right back on after cuz they're super comfy even my super worn down barely holdin tgt ones hhh and I'm cold sf rn esp since power was out for a bit.  ... i don't have slippers tbh but on a day off may go for slides and socks for the day. Most the times I'm ever barefoot is only the trip from the bathroom to my room after a shower.i hate being bare tbh

  8. Spoiler

    After long time I'd say 2 months ago I'd really been starting to get ahold of myself. I have a lot of emotional issues... like I had a scare I'd say half a year ago like...I for sure have some undiagnosed mood disorder. Like in terms of mood swings, mood instability. Cuz I wouldn't say it's anger issues... and us more than just irritability from other conditions I've chalked it up to be.  But my mood is more regular these days. But I do still have that feeling. If I'm ever able to see Dr again to get back on the med I was before I turned 18, maybe I can find out a professional opinion on what it is cuz I don't wanna assume. Anw yeah most my mood changes these days is less anger just getting sad but that's depression 4 u 😔

    But early august...I was getting outside more. I felt I'm improving. Then. Work... i went from working 8-2, sun-fri (except tues, day off. Saturday is 4-12 and overtime hours sometimes) to 7-4ish. On one hand I want to make more money.  But my health has taken the back seat. And ngl at least once a week I'm like 20-30 mins late bc being out the door at 630 am is too hard. And one major thing that has just torpedo my mental state is sumn I've rant about a million times but- my break up 2 years ago. Me going outside like having meals at a place a lone or going to movie a lone is most my social strides, and having friends at work... It's not much but having avpd it's big improvement. And my friends who know my ex,  I've brought it up I'd like to talk to her and fix it but they just tell me it's a bad idea(which makes me think my ex hates me actually) And ngl there are times I wonder if I've turned them off being pathetic ab her.or they still talk and my ex so they hate me which I'd deserve prolly... bc I feel pushed off whenever I try to talk to them I've given up. It makes me really sad. And this overlaying with being tired from work all the time... yeah

    But before my schedule had changed. One of my work friends , he talks to me a lot ab his relationship bc he's into a lot of casual things. He ask me about mine once and I was able to vent about my ex. And not even shitting on ha (cuz i l*ve her)but how it's been 2 years we've not talked but I'm not over it. And I don't think she is either? Like 7 years I love her before then etc. And he tells me like. In his opinion exes not good idea. There's many fish in sea talk you know... and as much as I'd like to fix with my ex.  A few things,  this talk gets to me,  my other friends opinion on it gets to me.  That I really put it in my head to move on. But when I don't have energy to do anything but work and lay in bed when I'm home.  I'm back in my thoughts of her. At the core really there are many times I've nearly talked to her, but her accts private and that's just another anxiety adding step. Or...just the guilt gets to me. Like there are things,  that when I think about how it made her feel, like it's such guilt I can barely live with Myself. But still there's a desire to try again with ha.  But it was 2 calendar years In october,, so in a week or two... I tell myself recently it's time 2 let it go esp cuz It's like damn so long. I need like knowing it would be OK with her to talk again. Ideally,she would msg me instead bc I'm too anxious hhhh

    But since that is long long shot. I just wanna get back on my feet tbh. Which I'm slowly trying to do. I need better sleeping honestly bc my thing is I take constant naps like I'll get adequate hours of sleep but by time I'm 6am I am dead tired and barely can get up tbh.  Like I don't mind the hours I work, truly. My biggest gripe for it is I wish I could be promoted bc I don't make as much as my coworkers who work around the same hours as me. That would help me having finance to get out my parents house whichb would improve my mental state a lot. So everytime I bitcg about work 7-4 it's also like knock on wood cuz I wanna be able to work those hours. And I hope if I do that,  and work a few more hr overtime if they ask, or even do a double.  They will promote me when there's an opening, bc my managers do c me as a hard worker ik that. It is entertaining to hear of my friend dating bc there's so many characters and he really feeds into that hhhh that I low-key wish I could be into the casual stuff but he gets into it via grindr I think and I'm just not dating apps type. So ig just putting love life on back burner to adjust to life and emotionally improve. And bonus depressing thought.  I used to think I'm really unattractive and no one ever would wanna be my friend or more esp facially bc I lost 2 teeth being hit by a car a few years ago. And physically ..I've let my body go to relying on take out way too much these past few years. But I've been on healthier habits these days and I have friends ....even if they're just work friends. So maybe there is hope after all. I'll try

    Wall of text sorry long rant but this been on my mind for weeks thinking about organizing these thots...

     

  9. I could go with any of these...except pickle. I used to like the pickle as a kid but I'd pick them off. Now I don't care for it. I also used to like Wendy's burgers for the tomato and lettuce and onion like lets pretend I'm not eating crappy unhealthy fast food burger but I don't want them on anymore. 

  10. One of my go to Playlist for awhile is like 66 hour long (and counting when I rmr anther song) it's the music I listened to from 21-24 and much longer than my other Playlist of previous ages. Since I listen to much more music than k used to I'm thinking of just doing it 1-2 years bc itz too long hhhh.  I like putting it on bc I get this exp like damn this is a bop haven't heard this one in Awhile. This was my experience yesterday when this song came on. So I added it to my regular Playlist that I keep under 2 hr ish

    • Love 1
  11. Now. And I'd still work and just buy an apt or a small home. More likely apt bc I assume taxes are smaller. But apt for sale is more rarer. I just want my own space bc I live miserable rn but too poor to fix it. And I'd still work cuz it keeps me busy. Kinda a loser social life wise hhh. But with this imaginary money would get me on right track bc I've been off prozac for 7 years bc I don't have insurance(and off my parents insurance, they wouldn't take me to psychiatrist if i didnt wanna stay in therapy) But I've been wanting the help again recently.  As soon as I corrected my emotional issues I'd prolly stop working. Ideally I'd like to save the money for it future if I ever get a gf again nd sharev that with ha.  In reality, a lot of ppl would be borrowing money.  But 25 million us a lot so I'd still be set. I just don't trust myself to not waste it all as well. Snother Main reason I don't think I'd quit my job

  12. im not sure about iz*one badge since i didnt peep in that thread but tbz badge upgrading ❤️ 

    looking at the iz*one result rn seems it will be this

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    chaewon badge is godlike so ia with no change but also is from bloomiz so outdated 🤔 and im not sure if thats izone badge since tie ig but thats the one i like better. i still see chaewon my fav girlie idol and izone still one my fav ggs ever. but my obsession phase has passed so lowkey wanting to go back to tbz only set esp Q badge is serving so i wanna get backq in my set butstill being accurate. wont replace hyunjae cuz he is my ult 🤔 q is my #2 tho so we may go back to a tbz set. badge #4 up for grabs idk who i'd use

  13. Crypto app for sure. Scams and wastes of money for sure. I look at my 401k and see it's mostly put into stocks and I'm like 🤔🤔🤔 . I did not know that's how they work but makes sense ig? Hoping that means I end up with more money than I put in in 30 years. But not fan of stocks regardless. Not investing the little week to week money I have hhh

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