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Actually I'm 21 as well. I think it's been...about a year maybe a little over a year since I was diagnosed with bpd. I was on medication for it but I ended up stopping it about a month ago. I always get weird/bad side effects with it and I just didn't like the person I was while on them. Not that I'm too happy with how I am off of it but at least I don't feel like my life depends on having these pills.
School was very difficult for me since I was going on and off different medications, along side of being bullied, so it was rough. The biggest help for me was,and still is, seeing my counselor. Just having someone to talk about this stuff with ,since no one in my family really understands, is a big help. With school it came to the point where I knew nothing was going to change and I had to just suck it up and deal with it.I hurt myself, tried to take my life, it didn't work. I finally came to the conclusion that for some unknown reason I'm meant to live and go through this crap. And those were the sort of thoughts I had throughout school, along with the hope that things will get better once I'm out of school. Now that I'm older and out of school, I do feel like things have gotten a lot better for me mental wise. I'm actually expirencing life now and not being trapped in a building being tormented by others. Not saying I haven't been treated badly by people, working in retail was awful, but not to the extent where Im grasping at straws to find a reason to go on.
Exercising and eating well are 2 very big key things that will help (my counselor says). I have trouble doing both of these things since it's hard to motivate myself to do things and I've ate junk food since I was a kid so it's hard to stop. Even though I do feel better after eating a salad vs eating half a bag of chips. I notice a difference in my mood. It's just motivating myself to do it and stick with it. My counselor recommended mindfulness meditation and this dialectical behavior workbook for me. She told me just because I think a thought doesn't mean I have to engage it, to accept and be aware of the thought and just move on/let it pass. So for example instead of me sitting here thinking about how I'm not good at anything and lose myself in those thoughts for like an hour, for me to stop and acknowledge that I'm having these sort of thoughts/feelings and to just...let it go. Which is hard for me to do, when something bad happens it's hard for me not to sit here and just think all this awful stuff about myself,my life,ect.
Breathing is another thing she recommended. When I feel myself getting really anxious to stop and just take a couple breaths. I also how issues with....depersonalization, I believe it's called. Where everything feels unreal,like I'm dreaming.I get this weird feeling in my head and...it's just hard to explain. I don't know if you have this symptom either but for it she recommended I take like a rock for example, an examine it, what colors it is, is it smooth,ect. Just to try and get myself grounded.
Not sure if any of this was helpful XD Sorry for like the huge wall of text. I'm here also if you ever wanna talk about it. Since it's not easy and tbh I'm glad I've met someone else who has it as well. Makes me feel like I'm not the only one.
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