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coffeencherry

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Posts posted by coffeencherry

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    Its not rly the first time these things happen anyway, it just...id rather not hear it directly to keep me calm from chaotic anxiety outbursts, i just dont want to hear, it really doesnt matter anymore if they dont want me here or not..

     

    I live in opressive environment where mental illness and autism and unfamiliar illness are being treated like some sort of taboo with obvious contempt, so its not even a surprising thing that basically people around me are the same, so i hardly turn to anyone, and its been so long since i contact any close friends(from high school), they most likely would be confused even if i tell them these things, and it would be really out of nowhere and burdensome i think.

     

    I remember these times where my sister and mother ridicule a neighboorhood autistic kid, like..i just..at lost of words, these things keep me from telling them outright though, they probably thought it’s not a big deal anyway. And explain things probably would take years and it’d be really tiring and they would still call it off as some harmless passing joke.

     

    I suppose i just want to manage my anxiety better on my own.

  2. oh wow what a great parent isnt it, ridicule and humilitate her own children's disability in front of relatives for shit and giggles and ego-booster in a so-called religious meeting

  3. My palm and feet start to clam up, another episode of anxiety attack..sigh...after i done some part of this assignment im going internet cafe, even if its far from here, been long since i watch any new stuff

    • Like 1
  4. Its fine, come on, it's fine, this assignment, do it bit by bit, dont feel too heavy about it, youre doing as much as you can, and if your parents bugging you there's always a way, do better with handling anxiety attack, if you feel too heavy and burdened refresh with watching a movie or write a diary, you've have enough irl problems on your plate pls dont add any unnecesary things there, youve handled that one flimsy matter already, it's fine. do what makes you comfortable.

     

    you cant rly talk or open up to anyone, right, so do whatever it is to survive and hold on, breath...

  5. yesterday such an anxiety breakdown ugh i want to get better, ive done this as much as i can i swear, there's just so much on my plate

    this is taking a tool on me and my sleeping pattern s much

  6. im so stressed rn, like there's still a lot to do with this assignment and i want to de-stress watch 1 or 2 new movies but the internet cafe nearby is probably gonna be a little far from here, for the past of few weeks and start of new year i dont rly talk to my family and the reccuring anxiety attacks,rlytearpls.png

  7. so, it seems like that one internet cafe i frequently went to closed permanently, i thought its because of new year holiday turn out til now, i guess it's really closed, gotta looking for another place nearby to download things it seems..sad...that place is rly close and comfortable

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