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OneHallyu

slutty slut

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Posts posted by slutty slut

  1. I'm honestly not sure if I should be posting in here or not. Please don't neg me if I don't belong here. I can just erase my message and leave but I felt like since I have been a member of this forum for a long time and I would rather reach out here then try to find somewhere else to talk about it...

     

     

     

    Today I learned the term 'Demisexual' for the first time and it honestly has changed my life.

     

    My whole life I have felt wrong or broken somehow. While I can, and do, find people attractive I have not been sexually attracted to them. I don't fantasize about people I don't know and if someone sends me a picture of someone super sexy doing something super sexy it never has an effect on me unless I have already developed some emotional bond with that person. Even my favorite idols I don't have sexual attraction to. When I hear people talking about my favorite idols being sexy and making 18+ comments about their bodies it makes me uneasy. I genuinely don't see them that way.

     

    That being said, I'm not asexual. I have been overwhelmingly sexually attracted in my previous relationships. It always seemed to surprise my boyfriends because people think I am not a sexual person and then I get into a relationship and 'suddenly' I want them all the time. I have a very high sex drive but it just doesn't activate unless I really feel that deep bond with someone. However, that high drive just disappears when I'm outside of a relationship or don't have a person I feel deeply for. TMI but I do not masturbate or watch porn. I don't feel the desire to and it only seems awkward to me. There doesn't seem to be a point to it if I don't have someone want to express those feelings to/with. On the other hand, I can read smut stories if there is a developed plot and the characters really are 'in love'. If the relationship isn't built up enough then I just feel awkward and want to get past it.

     

    I have had a multitude of childhood boyfriends and three sexual partners so far in my life and am currently in my late 20s. Because I don't feel sexual attraction to people I don't know I feel very uncomfortable when a person insinuates that they like me sexually before I feel we have adequately bonded and has always been a turn off for me to which I've never been able to recover a relationship from. On the other hand, if there is a person I am attracted to, even if they don't return the feeling, I find it damn near impossible to have any interest for anyone else. It's like all my feelings and emotions are already wrapped up in that one person and I can't let go even if I wanted to. 

     

    I have had people tell me something was wrong with me or that I was a liar or thought I was better than them when I tried to express what I understood about my sexuality and I've always believed it. I've always felt on the outside of society not understanding why I'm the only one who doesn't find this or that sexy even though I know I am a sexual person. Now that I've learned about Demisexuality I feel like I finally have a place. That I'm not broken or wrong. I'm just different and there is nothing wrong with being different.

     

    Since being Demisexual is a passive orientation I feel embarrassed to say anything about it to my friends or family but I really just wanted to be able to express myself and thought it might be ok if I did it here. Please let me know if I was wrong. ^^;;

     

     

    demisexual is a completely valid identity! tbh, i think demisexuality is a lot more common than people think.. the only reason it goes unnoticed is because not many people know what it means or they may not even know such a label exists

  2. Eh hello everybody...

     

     

    I'm...well, I don't know. I haven't given too much thought to my sexuality, because it's not very important to me tbh. For most of my life I've been heavily attracted to guys, but when I was about 13 I developed a crush on my girl friend, and somehow during the year we started dating. It was never about her gender though, I was just attracted to her for her...she was wonderful. I kept this hidden from my parents but my mom eventually caught us heh, and my brother already knew... Given that I was kind of an impressionable girl, I think my mom thought that my girlfriend was like...influencing me to be lesbian or bi? Which I thought was true for a long time, because she influenced me in a lot of other ways, good or bad...

     

    Anyway, it's something that isn't talked about around the house, it's like it never happened. I used to ignore it as well (because we had kind of a messy breakup and then lost contact), and tried to put her all out of my mind when I went to high school. I never had a crush on another girl after that. Now I'm 19 and in a relationship with my longtime guy friend.

     

    So...yeah. That part of my life in not very fond of examining. I dont know my sexuality (my friends think I'm pan though). I dont feel like a legit member of the lgbt community...like I never felt any kind of camaraderie with someone just because we shared minority status...this goes for any community I technically fall into (black, woman), etc. Like...do I belong here? Am I just a dumb straight person who was heavily influenced by someone who isn't even in my life anymore? Am I bi because I like watching gxb and gxg porn? Am I pan because I wouldn't mind dating a girl if I liked her enough? Idk. I don't know if I belong here. I'm sorry for writing a huge wall of text... I guess I don't like to think about my sexuality much because it confuses me too much. And it's not like I identify with it or anything? I don't particularly identify with my race or gender either, I've always been more concerned in identifying with what I like or what I've accomplished...the other stuff just isn't as important to me?

     

    I don't know. I'm messed up. I'm sorry.

     

    you said you would date a girl if you liked her enough but there are some things you can think about to help you try to figure it out. are you romantically (and/or sexually) attracted to women, even only sometimes? if you dated a girl, would you BECOME sexually attracted to her? think about your future; would you rather be with a man or with a woman? how often do you fantasize about women? pansexuality infers that you're already attracted to women in some shape or form so you shouldn't let your friends confuse you because they assume your sexuality for you. 

     

    i know you're confused because you dated a girl at some point but that's totally normal. you were 13 when you dated your girlfriend so you might have actually been influenced by her which isn't uncommon at that age. it's also easy to mistake an admiration for someone as a form of romantic attraction. also, don't base your sexuality on the porn you watch LOL i remember when i was in high school i used to watch porn other than gay porn, like lesbian and straight even though i'm a 100% gay man

     

    i mean, at the end of the day people can give you some advice on figuring out your sexuality, but they can't tell you for sure whether you're bi/etc. that's something you'll have to figure out on your own. i know a lot of people like saying that "labels aren't important" but if being able to label yourself makes you feel more secure/confident then you should continue on your journey of ~self discovery~ but if that journey only leaves you with more and more questions then it's just best to drop it, or at least find a simplified label that you can at least relate to in some form.

    • Like 2
  3. Girls why do you put on makeup when you look so beautiful without it?

    a lot of women don't wear makeup to look beautiful for men so they don't care how "beautiful" you think they look without makeup

     

    why do guys expect girls to be hairless everywhere (excluding scalp, eyebrows, etc) but then guys have like hairy balls and crap that you expect to be sucked

    is hair = manly?? orz

    it has less to do with "preference" and more to do with how society infantilizes women and the oppressive construction of femininity but that's a story for another time!

     

    women are human, they have body hair. if a man ever complains about body hair on women drop him faster than a hot potato

    • Like 5
  4. Sorry, I meant to exclude relations and behavior upon the sex whom you're attracted to. It does play a huge part in that. But I meant your general everyday personality. For example, many homophobes or ignorant people think gay males are extremely happy-go-lucky, jazzy, or feminine. Which are traits that anyone can have, and just because you are a gay male, you don't have to obtain those traits. But based on how you act with people you find attractive or relationships, this reflects your sexuality. But you can't assume someone is gay because they like broadway or they are compassionate. But you can assume if they act a certain way with the sex they are attracted to. Sorry, for the confusion, I hope you understand where I'm coming from now. ^^

    i agree that not all gay guys are feminine, but if a guy IS feminine he's more likely to be gay tbh. i think it's kind of iffy to base accusations on stereotypes but i mean, how common is it for straight guys to be feminine or exhibit more feminine behaviors compared to gay men? i personally don't fall under stereotypes but most of my gay friends do 

     

    maybe it's because men in general are socialized to be masculine/aggressive in a world where gay men are already labeled as being not "real" men so we're not as uptight about dumb gender roles and are able to showcase ourselves more freely? idk maybe if our society wasn't so femmephobic more straight men would be more feminine : ))))

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  5. i really wish they would come again too because i don't remember 95% of the concert... i was too turnt


    anyways can someone tell me if toumei ningen (the b-side of the recent single) is any good? i don't wanna listen to it until my CD arrives!! i don't wanna spoil the surprise :')

    • Like 1
  6. It is degrading. Not because there's anything wrong with being female or feminine, but because intentionally misgendering somebody is a direct attack on the legitimacy of that person's identity. The idea that gay men are "kinda men but kinda women" and that it's appropriate to treat them as such is so pervasive that the idea has even infiltrated the gay community, and it's why most gay men refuse to associate with the community at all. No self respecting person of either sex would put up with that, and it shouldn't be tolerated in a thread like this.

     

    Seriously, can you imagine somebody saying "hey girl lemme lick your girl-dick" or "I wanna fuck you in your front-ass"? Most women would not put up with something like that.

    oh ok. i never thought of it like that tbh  :)

  7. Why the fuck do people say shit like this? The entire point of being attracted to males is that they don't have vaginas, and most gay guys (that I've seen at least) agree that it's really gross when people feel the need to feminize men's bodies. I mean we don't masculinize women's bodies, even lesbians. Why do it to guys? It's just another way of saying "he's a man but he's not really a man though" :wut:

    'boy pussy' is gay slang for a dude's ass. i think it's funny how offended you got by such a harmless post, you're acting as if it's degrading to associate men with female characteristics/femininity.

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  8. I'm going mid August (I have a placement test, but don't actually start until September)

     

    hopefully, on the bright side I've began to use just traditional  :ahmagah: 

    ooooh i'm gonna study in taiwan too. i'm planning to go next year when i transfer to uni (i'm in community college atm) and hopefully i have enough money saved up by then : ))

     

    i've started learning chinese and my new year's resolution was to be somewhat fluent in chinese before i hit 20 but that's only 3 months away lmao  :unsure:

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