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OneHallyu

invisiblecc

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  1. I'm not really keen on commenting about this discussion, but since most commentors here don't seem to follow many girl groups, focusing rather on few, I'll try to put it a little on perspective. Be aware, though, this is just my opinion.

     

    I don't follow male groups at all. However, I have seen a few videos of Super Junior at concerts where you could say they do "queerbaity" things. But when you think about it, who are the people that you can hear screaming qhen this kind of interactions happen? Gays or fangirls? All of this is done as fanservice, but not for the LGBT crowd, but for the fangirls that like to ship or have fantasies about it.

     

    When thinking about girl groups, I think it's more or less the same. While no one does the same things boy groups seem to do in this kind of fanservice, they still do it, but in fewer doses. I'm sorry for not providing links since I'm on my phone.

     

    For example, on TWICE'S elegant private life, on the episode where Nayeon, Mina, and Momo are eating ice cream, Momo asks Nayeon for a kiss. The latter tries to kiss her, but Momo backs out of it. Is Nayeon queerbaiting, or was it simply Nayeon being playful combined with knowing that fans would like to see that?

     

    Then I think about Girls' Day, specifically about Hyeri and Yura. Are all their interactions (that I have seen posted here) queerbaity? Another example could be Gfriend's Yerin, who can also be very touchy with her groupmates.

     

    For the most part, they do this kind of interactions, not only because, as some korean users have said, skinship is normal, not just between idols, but between ordinary people, but because they know their fans will like it. Could some of those fans be gay? Probably, but I find it ludicrous to think that all the fangirls and fanboys that encourage this are gay. In the end, this is a marketing strategy, but I doubt it is focused on LBGT fans, who are a very small niche, and is instead focused on all k-fans, citizens of a country where skinship runs rampant.

    • Like 17
  2. I don't think you like her , you're probably just curious , I once felt the same way about my best friend and it was only because she's extremely touchy and all with me it made me curious not because I like her..so maybe the fact that you were very close made you want to kiss her ?

    Well, I hope so, since liking her would lead me to nowhere. Thanks  :)

  3.  

    You're welcome!  :) And yeah, I can kind of understand you since I have gone through more or less the same conflicts. I told my mom (with bad results), but even then I feel better with myself after everything. I hope it gets better for you!

     

    I also have a dilemma with something that is confusing me. I have known my best friend since we were 12 yo, and I have always seen her as a great (thought not so much lately because of some 'ideological' conflicts between us) friend. However, today, when we were at our school's talent show, and I was waiting with her for her mom to pick her up, we were supporting our heads on a table there, so our faces were very close. I don't know why but at one moment when our faces were the closest, I felt the desire to kiss her, and it kind of freaked me out.

     

    I have felt this about her before, specially at moments when we are physically close, but I always shook it off, even more now that she has been acting in a way that annoys and angers me.

     

    Do I like her? Or am I just curious about kissing another girl (since I've never had a gf)?

     

    I also must add that she is the best friend that I've talked before in this thread. She is super religious.

  4. hey! i have a question and i didn't know where to ask, i also don't feel comfortable talking about this irl

    ever since i was 11 i knew i like girls and at this age i had never even heard a homophobe comment, so i didn't think too much about it, i just felt like i really really liked girls and wanted to kiss them, that's all. but when i was 13, i went to a religious school and i started to be have a lot of internalized homophobia, idk i just couldn't call myself lesbian like i use to, i forced myself to try to like boys and i told myself i was bi (but i never got together with one - i was always very uncomfortable) and i would just pretend i was straight. so yeah, i was very closeted. i had a lot of friends that would joke about lgbt people and say they are disgusting, my teachers would make homophobe jokes every class... it was horrible. now skip to now, my first year on college where everyone is very open and talk about their sexuality... and even though it's a very safe place, i can't get out of the closet. i can't even tell my therapist i like girls, idk, i'm so afraid and i don't even know about what. i have a very bad case of depression and social anxiety, so i don't get out a lot and i have never been with a girl, but i'm atracted to them and i fell in love with one once (in the internet... my first gf haha). but i have never felt atracted to men, i just think some are very handsome and sometimes i want to kiss them (but only older ones, i have never even considered dating a boy of my age, never), but never have sex with them or something like that. i'm so confused... i feel like i'm actually a lesbian and me trying to believe i'm bi is just a part of me that wants to please my mom (like, you know, to get married to a man and have kids), but idk... i'm confused

    sorry if this is too long, i just have a lot in my mind. if someone can help me to try to find out if i'm a lesbian or bi, i would be so so appreciated. and maybe some tips to help to get out of the closet? <3 thank you for reading!

    Don't worry and don't feel alone in this.  :) I was the same even after I realized I liked girls, which drove me to self harm and fear. Your fear is there because you are used to hiding your sexuality because you knew you would mistreated. Don't force yourself to tell someone right now, just ease yourself into the thought and first feel comfortable about yourself. I say this because even when I finally admitted to myself that I liked girls it took a while for me to ease myself into the idea of not being heterosexual, and lot more time it took for me to finally talk about it with someone.

  5. I'm sorry if I use thread to occasionally vent, but since I have no one to talk freely about this, this place seems just about right. Right now I feel hurt, very very hurt. A few hours I tried speaking to my mother to see if I could get her to kind of understand me. Now, if you have seen my previous posts, you'll know that my family is highly religious and think badly of lgbtq, so the task seemed alomost impossibl, but I wanted to try. The run down of the conversation is me explaining how I've felt for most of my life and how much it has influenced my entire personality, likes, and dislikes, and she answering that I'm not like this and it is probably their fault for letting me have male friends when I was a little kid, and that they should have done more so I should have resulted more girly. She basically told that the correct thing to do would be to change myself entirely.

    I feel destroyed, since at least I thought my mother would have an ounce of understanding of my situation, but it seems I was wrong. I couldn't even face her afterwards. I was and I still am filled with anger and sadness at her words.
  6. I'll miss you. I wish you could have stayed longer to see me drive. You always asked me about it. You're in peace now, I know that, but it still hurts. My heart hurts so much because I won't see you again. I guess I took you for granted. I love you.

  7. You feel so secure in your own bubble, but if you continue like this, it will cost you. Don't be so afraid of people. Don't isolate yourself. If you want to live alone, you need to stand in your own two feet, including emotionally speaking. Fight for what you want, and stop fearing about what others will think of you!

  8. May I be added to the list? After some time of pondering, I have finally been able to say out loud what I feel, so I feel identifying with y'all would be another step  :)

     

    Also, I have been reading some time, but I seriously don't know what to ask or answer since I'm still a fetus in all this. I'm still wondering a lot of things (like if my gaydar works), so I don't know anything, but I still want to give my support.

  9. Hi everyone. My name is Beth, I'm 21 and bisexual. It's nice to meet you all ^.^


    Kids were the same way throughout my years of school. I just went to public school though. While I never openly admitted my sexuality, the ones that did struggled with bullying. Sometimes they couldn't even look at someone without them freaking out that they must have a crush on them. It was awful. Teachers wouldn't do anything about it and the thing is it wasn't just a few people, it was like most of our grade. All four years of high school a bunch of students fought for them to allow a lgbt club and they refused. (About a year ago I went back to my high school for a college class that was held there, and on the walls I saw signs promoting the lgbt club. I was so happy to see that they finally allowed that for them.)

    Kids are cruel and you shouldn't have to feel this way. No one should. I don't know how many years you have left but try to hang in there. I know it's hard, I was bullied throughout my years of school, not for my sexuality, but because I was quiet and minded my own business. After I graduated I have yet to see any of these people again. I thought for sure I would because it's a small town but no. It's like they were never apart of my life.I was stuck there everyday and it was.... like I was trapped in a cage. After I graduated....it was like freedom...I could finally start my life. Things started to get better.You may have heard this before, I heard it all the time and I never believed it.

    Have you tried writing about how you feel? That's what I mainly did to try and get some of my emotions out instead of bottling it up inside. Or I'd just write stories,draw,read,video games,ect. Anything to keep my mind off of things. Especially since I didn't really have someone to talk to about things while I was in school.So these sort of things helped me. Also I want to say that I'm here if you ever need to talk.

    I'm rooting for you and I hope you feel better/things get better soon.

     

     

    I kinda wanted to reply to EnergyPear, but I'm a few days late and the reply above^ is on point anyway so I dont really have much to add. It's times like this I realize how lucky I am to live and go to school the places I have. Some of the people visiting this thread may be havng a hard time right now...maybe, like EnergyPear, you think nobody will accept you. I just want you guys to know that that is definitely not true and not only are there tons of people out there that will love you, there are tons of people that think it's a given. Where I went to school, people didn't even bother a coming out because it wasn't considered a big deal. Any sort of coming out was super casual, something like: "Hey did you do the homework?" "Yeah but my girlfriend is copying it right now, you'll have to wait" "Oh I didnt know you have a girlfriend, I thought you were single, thats cool. Tell her to hurry up I have to turn it in next period"

     

    The high school I went to was one of the most diverse schools in the US and it was ranked within the top 5 for most diverse in California. My HS had tons of religious, ethnic, class, and sexual diversity and at the time I took it for granted, but the entire student body was very accepting of one another. There was no bullying as far as I know, and cliques were blurry: nobody discriminated against one another  because eveybody knew each other. The one time soneone said something racist during class discussion he was dragged by 5 different people around the classroom and the teacher scolded him too. Don't get me wrong, there was still teasing, because teens are jerks, but from what I know it was never because of something that person was born as or couldnt help. Even my gross mysognistic trigonometry teacher congratulated my female friend on her first girlfriend. At the university I go to, at one of my tutoring groups, a student told us their preferred pronouns after their name, and my tutor's reaction was literally just "Ok sweet, I'll make sure to remember that."

     

    so, idk if I did a good job trying to explain it but basically I'm trying to say you dont need to go to San Francisco to find a community that will welcome you. There are tons of places that think you are normal and awesome and dont get why it's a big deal to be accepting of your sexuality or gender. Just keep hanging on, I know it's so fucking cliche but it gets better.

    Thank you :) I know that things will get better, but sometimes I feel so hopeless. Maybe that's why I am aiming to study at another country. I'm trying to get into new hobbies to pass away time, and though sometimes I wish I could have a girlfriend, I'm ok.

    • Like 1
  10. I'm sorry if I use this thread as a place to dump my feelings, but sometimes I feel I have no one to go to.

     

    A few days ago, we had a society class in which we reviewed the different kinds of families that exist now in society and one of them was a family with homosexual parents, but since I am at a Christian school, many of my classmates (including my best friend, who doesn't know about me) said remarks like "gross, disgusting". Since them I have felt depressed, thinking that no one can accept me, and that I can never open myself to my friends the way I want to. I have tried to distract myself by reading yuri manga, but everyday I'm feeling worse. Why can't I just be the way I am? I never chose to feel like this, and yet...

    • Like 1
  11. If we're talking about Taeyeon, I remember that like four days ago I found a page that had translate some q and a she did before debut, like in 2005. And I remember seeing a question that said, "Do you feel dissatisfied with being a woman/man?" and Taeyeon answered that she was dissatisfied in being a woman. This is telling.

    • Like 3
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