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OneHallyu Will Be Closing End Of 2023 ×
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MyungTaeng

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Posts posted by MyungTaeng

  1. hey everybody... i'm back. how are you all holding up?

     

    i stayed up last night until 4am to follow the news and get some closure, as selfish as that sounds. but i felt like i needed that to my soul. it was heartbreaking indeed, and stirred a lot of emotions inside. a wide range of disbelief, anger, sadness, comfort, and relief. reading key's letter, i felt heartbroken but also a bit warmer than before. he truly is a strong person, and so are the others. and so is jonghyun.

     

    today i am coming with words of comfort. the past few days i wasn't able to comfort anybody but i got a lot of support from people here privately, which i will never take for granted. you're all beautiful souls and it's incredible how we all come together at times like this. as you already know me, i always like to collect my thoughts and come back to you guys with new understandings, and i feel like i owe this one to you and keep the tradition going. hopefully this will help others here to deal with their own grief. i want to share with you guys a personal journey i've been on for a decade, and how i am planning to keep going from here on out.

     

    i found shinee almost 9 years ago, i was 16 and lost. i got caught under the spell the first second i heard them, and from here everything is history. they've been with me through thick and thin - through mental illness, suicidal thoughts, loss, the military, growing older, facing challenges and creative blocks.

    before that, i had nothing to anticipate, or something i found worthy to come back home to after a long day. shinee gave me that warm corner, that imaginary hug like two wings wrapped around me keeping me safe from the outside at least an hour a day. i'm sure most of us can relate to that.

     

    and this is what had kept me going the past 9 years. the anticipation, the excitement, the laughs, meeting great people from around the world and going on exciting adventures. i've made connections i could've never possibly made without them. i had somewhere to run to when the world was overwhelming me.

     

    last monday, it was all taken away. just like that, with one headline on the news, i felt my insides turning into a mish-mash of things and my anxiety going up to 9000, i felt lost. that one good thing i had was now gone. it's over, and it'll never be the same.

     

    but the more i dived into that moment, the more i've read his last words, i realized how alike we are. growing up, i've always felt like i lived for others, and that none of it was for myself. and i'm not talking about studies or anything of that sort. i'm talking about physically being in the world simply because i didn't want my mom to cry. but it was never for me. i never wanted to stay alive for me. and what would happen to me when caring about the people around me wouldn't be enough for me to keep it together anymore? like jonghyun? what then? what if it is my character, to live like this? do i want to reach the age of 70 like this?

     

    today, i had an appointment with my psychologist. going on and off with treatment, i decided that this time i gotta make it work. it can't be all there is.

    so i told her, the entire story. the story about a band, and me. the story about a certain man who couldn't take it anymore, and how what he had done put a huge mirror in front of my face. about the void that's left in my chest now that he's gone, and how food is tasteless and how everything seems meaningless now.

     

    and then she asked me a question.

    "when you listened to them, did you feel happy?", i replied with yes.

    "and when you saw them on screen, did you feel happy?", again, i replied with yes.

    "and when you saw them live, what did you feel?", i said it was the first time i felt truly happy.

     

    and then she said,

    "then i don't think you live entirely for others. i think throughout life, as a result of the things you've gone through, there was a disconnection. disconnection with your emotions, your relationships, and so on. and the group, somehow, found a way to make that connection and it kept you alive. and now you think that connection is gone, but i don't entirely think so. you've got a decade of memories and music and people behind you to fuel that connection and keep it going, and work harder to creat a new, stronger one."

     

    and when i left the appointment, it was the first time i could listen to shinee again after the annoucement.

     

    so yes, let's not forget what we've been through, and all the gifts we've received, and look at them back with a smile and not a tear. i know that now it seems difficult and easier said than done, and i'm still crying myself cause it's still so fresh, but please, find strength in these words if you feel like you relate to them. you're all strong and beautiful, and we will get through this together.

     

    it's okay to be sad, to grieve and cry. it's okay to want to be alone but it's also okay to reach out for people. we're all in this together.

    i won't let the system fail any of you. let's be here for one another, and i will do my best from now on to be of help to anyone who may need.

    This so beautiful. This is one of the most comforting post i have read. I just kept coming back to read it again. Your words are comforting and you describe exactly at how we are all feeling. Thank you for this beautiful post rich witch.

  2. Get well soon, take care of yourself as much as you can, it'd be better if you avoid youtube and twitter, those are filled with Jonghyun related videos atm, i'm sure Jonghyun won't be happy seeing his beautiful Shawol suffering, its a hard time but it will pass away, think about all the happy moments that you spent with your family and all the happiness that SHINee gave you. I hope your life gets filled with happiness starting from now <333

    Thank you for your encouraging words. I am seeing a new psychologist now and that's helping me a lot now. I am staying away from any social sites except onehallyu. Key's letter was the first thing i read since the news brokeout. Key's letter gave me strenght to log on to Oneballyu. He wrote it in away to tell us we're gonna be okay. It's not gonna heal quickly but step by step we gonna be fine.

    • Like 1
  3. Hello shawols. I am sorry i couldn't post anything or share our grievances together or comfort each other. My friend made a post here informing you guys i have been admitted into the hospital the day of his passing. I got out of the hospital and thanks the shawols that wished me well. It was comforting.

     

    I have stayed away any pictures from the funeral. I don't think i am mentally ready to see the memebers faces yet. Someone that has been struggling with depression this was the biggest trigger in my life. I honestly thought of ending my life. I couldn't think of anything but that. And that was the loneliest, darkest and scared moment of my life. I can't keep the image of Jonghyun planning and thinking of ending his life in my mind. I just can't stop the tears and it tears my heart apart. I am thankful to my friend for dropping everything and never leaving my side. That helped me morethan she knows.

     

    SHINee is a group i consider my family. I have been with them since their debut. SHINee helped me throught some of the hardest moments in my life. As a fan, it breaks your heart when you feel that you failed your idol. Jjong you were one of the most genuine person when you smile. That sparkling smile you had in your eyes when you look at the fans always made me cry. We didn't deserve you. You were an angel and you have been called back home. I hope you are happy. You worked really hard. You really did. You are the artist of my life. I love you so much. Goodbye love.

    • Like 11
  4. First there are no words to tell you how sorry and sad i am that you shawols lost someone dear to you today. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. My condolences to Jonghyun's families, fans and friends.

     

    As you can see i am not someone familiar with Jonghyun or shawols (i hope i am saying it right). This is my friend's account. I saw it open and decided to make a post. We are roommates. This morning a loud of screaming woked me up. It was the moat terrifying scream i ever heard. I run to her room and i saw my friend on floor just wailing. I didnt know what was happening with her so i asked what's wrong? Did something happened? Is she hurt? But all she did was cry and fell back with her eyes rolling backwards. It was the most scary thing i ever seen. I called 911 and we took her to the emergency. They kept asking me what happened to her and i absolutely had no idea so kept saying i don't know. They sedated her and gave her medication. I called her family. I was with her for 4 hours and i had to call our work and school to let them know we are not gonna be in today. I went back to the apartment and looked her cell phone on the floor and saw the last thing she was looking at it was the news of Jonghyun's passing. I knew she was huge fan of shinee so that sinked my heart. My friend have been a fan of shinee since debut stage. She has been a fan of them for 10 years. She was recently so happy because she was finally going to their concert after working two jobs and saving up for 2 years. I was really happy for her to see her that happy because shinee was one od the biggest factor of her happiness. My friend's a muslim. Her family are worried and doesn't know what's going on with her. She told me plenty of times she never lets her family know she is a fan of a group especially a korean artists. I know that it's not my place, should i let her parents know why she is in that condition and endlessly crying. Can you write her messages since you guys know the most how she is feeling. Again i am really sorry for your loss shawols. My he rest in peace.

    • Like 1
  5. Wootak is really a likeable character, he escalate quicky to be the 2nd male lead, altho I love Sangyeob too, but YB character is just uugh.. And he potray it well..

    The kiss between Hongju and Jaechan wss sonfluttering and cite.. But after I saw that Wootak alsonsaw that, I got a heartbreak a little too..

    It's nice to hear u enjoying the drama too..

    Me too. When he said there is no need. I like everything you bought. I went awwe It's really heart fluttering and also makes your heart break b/c you could see he has no chance with her.
  6. I absolutely love, love, love Wootak, his smile just melts me. :ahmagah:

    That smile could make someone commit a terrible act heh..I literally had heart attack last week, i was waiting anxiously on today episode. What i didn't expect is wootak's amazing body. woah that body does not fit that puppy face.

  7. It looks like i am back. Aughh i hate my new job. I have to wait until 5:00 pm to watch the new episode. I am loving this drama so much. Jaechan and Hongju are so cute ^_^ Hongju giving kiss to Jaechan made me smile so much but seeing Jaechan melt when he got home was the highlight of the episode for me.

     

    Am i only one that loves Woo-tak? He is such puppy. That smile and puppy eyes could make a girl fall for him.

     

    I am just enjoying this drama so much. I am just rewatching previous episodes.

    • Like 2
  8. Ok it took me a while to get my feelings together about the whole situation. It will be a lie if i say i am not devastated by the news of the 3 members leaving. I have been sone since 2008 and when Jessica left, it hit me pretty hard. I know the group wouldn't last forever. But as a fan for a long time it's pretty heartbreaking for me to say goodbye to the group.

     

    I have been working six months non-stop to save up so that I can go to their concert just one time. Now that seems like it's not going to happen. It's zero chance for me to see them together in a concert. I know the situation is not the same as when Jessica left so i have tiny hope we will have a good news from them.

    • Like 1
  9. The worst way to start my day. I am really sad to hear the new of members not re-signing sad but not surprised. I just hope that the members are doing well. We know what SNSD means to them. The group is their life and ending part of your life is one of the hardest thing a person can do. Whatever path they take i will support them.

     

    Once a sone, always a sone till forever.

  10. Wow it's rare to see a SONE on this thread, and in addition a nice one. :)

    Welcome! :)

     

    Really it's that rare? Being a fan a group doesn't really stop me from enjoying other artists. I have watched Suzy dramas before (Dream High is one of my favorite kdrama). I rarely post on onehallyu, if i do i only post on main threads. Thank you for welcoming me >_<

     

    I am really loving while you were sleeping. Waiting for new episodes is what i hate when i become obsessed with new airing drama.

  11. Welcome welcome. Thank you for visit this thread.

    Suzy stan in this thread is so niceeee, lets spazz together

    Thank you for welcoming me.

    I love how much everyone is spazzing together. I am usually busy so I am try to spazz together with everyone on streaming the new episodes.

    • Like 2
  12. I wait for four episodes for a drama before i decide whether to continue or not. I am addicted to this drama in the first episode. I was having a hard time to find a drama i can invest time in but it looks like i found it. This is the kind drama i have been waiting for all year. I love the chemistry between the leads. Suzy is so f*cking pretty and adorable. lol Her character is so shameless that i loved it. It looks like i will visit here for the next couple weeks.

    • Like 6
  13. Hello fellow Sones. It's been a while. i am sad that i missed the comeback stages and the variety shows. I haven't been able to be online or participate with this comeback. I had a family emergency. My cousin lost her husband and a child in drunk driving accident. I have been out of the country for weeks. I came back this week but i was busy with work. I was backtracking a lot for this thread. I was happy reading and watching the comeback stages. But the news of the girls renewing their contract and SM is messing up with their safety and career made me angry. SM continues to show what a thug of company they are. Seeing the footage of Taeyeon being mopped in the airport without a proper escort for her safety pissed me of. I wish the girls stay strong. My albums came while i was a way. It's only thing that made me smile when i get back. I am watching Knowing Borthers now, I am laughing so hard. SNSD are really variety queens. I wish they had their own reality show. SNSD just need a camera and you will get so many golden moments of them just messing around. It seems like i have a lot of catching up to do.smile.png

    • Like 11
  14. OH MY GOD I TOTALLY FORGOT!!!!!!!!!!

     

    THE VARIETY QUEENS ARE ALMOST HERE!! 

    This is were the promo actually starts!  Let's give it all everyone!! 

     

     

    Try to stream HOLIDAY on YT to have 10m in 48 hours !

    it's on 9m right now rlytearpls.png ahmagahplz.png

    I am so happy they are going to variety shows. Variety SNSD is one of the biggest reason why i love them. 

    I am streaming Holiday and All Night both versions. I can stream all i want on the weekend since i work less than weekdays. So i hope more sones take advantage of the weekend and mass stream. Let's go we can hit 10m. 

    • Like 1
  15.  

     

    EVERYONE CAN'T WAIT FOR SNSD on KNOWING BROS!

     

    The preview is going to hit 800k Views soon just an hour ago the views were 680k amgplz.png

     

     

    lol the variety queens are back. Everyone is thirsty for them. This episode is gonna be mess. Heechul is gonna have a hard time. Sunny alone was too much for him but all of them together at the same time harharplz.png
  16. Reading the fan-accounts and watching clips of fancams of the fan-meeting made me cry. Today was really emotional day for sones and the girls. Sones were so sweet with the fan project they did for the girls. As always SNSD are really the best when they are on stage together. Here is to more anniversary to celebrate with each other. 

     

    Iol the Knowing Brothers preview looks so fun. I can't wait for next week. Tomorrow is the Running Man. I know SNSD is gonna be hilarious and Running Man had been so fun this month so i am really anticipating tomorrow. 

  17. Happy 10th Anniversary my girls. Happy 10th Anniversary soneschuplz.png  WOW it's been 9 years since i became a fan of SNSD. I never once felt disappointed standing these girls and i am so proud at how much legacy they build and how they overcame so much to reach where they are today. They went from having black ocean to becoming treasure in the industry. People may look down on how SNSD is doing now but i will like to see any of their faves reach the level of SNSD in their 10th anniversary. I refuse to let antis and trolls  to take away how much this day means to us as sones. I kept ignoring every stupid thread that have been and kept reading the official threads to keep up with updates and keep streaming the MV. My friends who are not even SNSD fans are streaming the MV and loved both title tracks. heh we are divided. Some love Holiday and some All Night. Today i am happier than when i graduated Uni lol.  I hope fellow sones are enjoying the comeback. 

     

    This video was the reason i discovered SNSD.

     

    This drama always holds special place in my heart because without it i wouldn't have discovered Taeyeon and SNSD. I spend SNSD with my teenhood and early adulthood life. I am proud to grow with them and work hard to achieve my dreams because without them i wouldn't have being more than motivated to follow my dreams. SNSD my girls, my sunshine, my love. Happy 10th anniversary. Love you.

    067943a57bc26fb135f4bcc3d461832ca93715f3

    • Like 1
  18. The album is perfect. I can't stop singing Ho Ho Holiday all day. I love Holiday so much. The song, chorea, outfits and MV was perfect. 

    All Night is is good. I am really happy with the album. The b-sides of the album are really good. Light Up The Sky, Sweet Talk, and One Last Time are my favorite. We asked good music and the girls delivered. The only complain i have is i wished their released clean version of All Night or at least put subtitle so we can understand what the girls are saying. 

     

    OK I have said before and i will repeat it. Sunny visual is hard work at this comeback. And her vocal is really underrated. i am really happy with the comeback. 

     

    I am glad to see that sones are not being obsessed with charts. I am happy to see that we are supporting the girls instead wasting time arguing with trolls and anti that live off charts. SNSD will start promoting and they will rise on the digital charts, don't worry. Antis were so quick to write of SNSD last comeback when Lion Heart didn't perform the same level as Party but once they started promoting they started to chart high and was actually in the middle of Infinity Challenge and SMTM that were dominating the charts at the time. 

    People on this forum always love to underestimate and put down SNSD but we get the last laugh at how a group that's 10 years into their career is bothering them this much. Let's work streaming the MV and most importantly sones, Let's enjoy the comeback. Variety queens are coming back to TV so we have a lot of stuff to look forward to. Much love fellow sones. chuplz.png

     

    p.s. Sorry my sloppy English. 

    • Like 1
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