alex crossing

Hello ^^ I was "Alex" in your game. Thanks for the game, by the way!

I do everything I'm supposed to, and with diligence, but my body's never in a clear state for more than a day or two. I still get rashes all across my body, from my legs to my neck. While I appreciate when people reassure me the rashes are barely noticeable, sometimes not noticeable at all, I wish they wouldn't take it further by saying the rashes are no big deal and I shouldn't care about them 'cause "no one's perfect." To me they are a big deal. Just because the color of it doesn't stand out or the size is small, that doesn't mean its presence doesn't disturb me. If you suddenly got dark purple splotches on your fingers, small spots on your neck, raised irritation areas on your arms, and you got these things at random, often, and nothing you do stops it from appearing, you would be upset too regardless of how little the size or how well blended it is with your skin tone. And I know no one's perfect, that no one who loves me or is gaining interest in me is going to abandon me over a brown speck on my shoulder, but I can't help such things being the first thing I notice when I look in the mirror or down at myself. What's worse is I have highly sensitive skin, so if I'm not on alert for rashes, then they'll just sit there for who knows how long before fading on their own. I have to be alert and start treating them with eczema lotions, hydrocortisone cream, adapalene, etc early so they go away faster. I still have an ever-so-slight rash from where my leg was bandaged almost three months ago after I had an allergic reaction to the bandages and didn't realize it for a week or more. I don't want to know how long the blemishes on my fingers would last, or how they may morph, if I wasn't on alert for them and didn't treat them aggressively as soon as they appear. I keep so much anxiety and stress over this under control and hidden away inside. If once a month my control bursts like a needle to a bubble, I think I should be allowed to cry to myself over it and let out all the emotion without people barging in with phrases like "no one ever notices, you look great so stop crying, you're too old to cry like this, at least you don't have [worse thing]." People are so annoying. Rest assured, I'm grateful it's not worse. And back when I never got rashes or other issues, I was grateful I had no problems. I've always been grateful of these things and always will be. Maybe you're not a grateful person and so you assume no one else is either? Maybe you should just keep your lips locked and hug me. When I ask you how I look is the appropriate time to tell me no one would notice. Crying has no age, it's a normal, healthy behavior and I always feel relief and lucidity like a clear, cold night sky when my tears are done.

Done ^^

Hello ^^ I meant to take a nap and wake up for this release but overslept a little. My eyes were burning and my skull inside felt full of cotton balls but upon hearing the opening of Get Over It, I forgot the state of my body. Amber's mixtape is here!! Her singing is amazing, no surprise. Her voice has always been so mellifluous, and if you go from the Beautiful mini to her covers she'd been uploading, you can hear an improvement although her voice was already beautiful on Beautiful. I wish there were lyrics out so I could understand what she's saying, though. Some lines I can grasp in full but overall... >_< I can hear fine but my brain doesn't parse words the way it's supposed to. The Closed Doors MV is awesome. The camerawork, coloring, light effects are all impeccable. I hope everyone who worked on it is bursting with pride at the finished product 'cause they should be! The way the camera went swooping up on her from a low angle at 1:09 and the shift from the painted ceiling down to her going down the steps at 2:48, ahh! I see in the description she gave a special thanks to her sister, haha. The ending with her snapping out of her gazing up at the sky and building tops and smiling a bit at whoever's approaching left a relaxed, pleasant feeling in my chest that I'm not sure how to describe. Like a stack of sea glass through which low sun rays produce a vague glow. [x] [x] [x] An MV that should be admired on loop. It still hasn't sunk in yet there are more MVs coming out til April has run its course. Yo, I feel that cursing in Get Over It. I also feel the way she says "full of it" with extra attitude and the breath blow at two minutes in, hoho. The instrumental of High Hopes is so pretty, you know exactly what melody I'm talking about. Yes, you do! And her voice simply melts against it. I think it may be my favorite track. I like Lifeline a lot, the chorus surprised me ^^ The distortion contrasts nicely with the other parts of the song which are more calm and straightforward sound-wise. The lyrics I'm picking up on Three Million Years are really sweet, I keep putting my hands up over my nose listening to it. I feel like I should be paying her. There's no weak spot in Rogue Rouge for me. Amber's too good to be true. Bye bye.

Thank you for making each morning of mine better this past week, and especially this morning. It means a lot.

He briefly peers into and remembers your soul oscillating opposite his in that moment ^^ He looks so in-tune here. It's special. I found this picture of a cat with pink bun ears and couldn't help thinking of V in that one Bon Voyage episode. Adding to Kitty V is one of my favorite insomnia hobbies ^^ This picture is so obvious, someone else has probably compared them before, but great things should be enjoyed more than once!

I found the official BTS lightstick account! Please follow them for important updates, like these new lightstick models coming out. Click here to view the Tweet Actually, I'd like to know why there are so many of these. I've seen about 15!

Yes, you're right, Sully! I don't believe the original video is up anymore. I'm unsure whether or not he's truly checking her out, but regardless he is a massive flirt in general and later he suddenly semi took off his outer shirt to show his shoulder blades, haha. He can't be stopped! This is one of my favorite things about him Speaking of this ambiguous event, he made a similar face at a fansign last summer, too. [x] He's very attentive.

You copied my opening line, so shameless. But I can't blame you~ ♡♡♡ã†ã•ã¡ã‚ƒã‚“ã®äº‹å¤§å¥½ãよ

When I brought up poetry in the info we had to send in for the event, I figured if someone followed through with that, they'd likely search for one online written by someone else (which would've been fine, of course). When I opened the message today and saw it was something a user, syzao nyan, composed themselves, I was so surprised as well as a little shy that my hands kept covering my face at first. I know you made a thread but I think it's also good to have it nestled in here. Thank you ^^ I believe I mentioned liking water and there it is, too! Yes, I am the real MVP. I'm glad you're aware. Anyway, admittedly I didn't spend very long translating and looking over the Kokinwakashuu pieces, so I hope they sounded okay. If my past translations professor knew I included the "technically" part, the disappointment radiating off him would asphyxiate me. And then my cat would be lonely. As for your concern: I don't think you know, but the person we make something for isn't the same one who makes something for us! Or at least, in our case it's not.

OH MY GOODJFKLDAJSKLJDLKAJ;L I FINALLY GOT TO SEE BANGTAN ON MY OWN FREAKING TV. I didn't get to watch the AMAs but I made sure to watch this! I thought Camila was supposed to be next so when they suddenly moved to Hollywood(?) for BTS, my heart proceeded to curl up and wring itself. NA D THEN THERE WAS V, MY DUDEMAN. HIS BACK! *breathes* And then there was RM sounding good and everyone doing their thing on MY TELEVISION SCREEN and then V made the V sign at me personally. I don't care what you say! It was magically for me. I never thought in my lifetime I'd get to see a band I like from Asia actually on tv but but bjaafd I think DNA is awesome, I don't care! And they owned everyone else I've had to sit through so far. Bangtan are so much funner on stage, others can't compare. I wanted to see more of them doing things on stage after, though.

Universe came out! 'Cause of the release time being right inbetween Christmas date and my birthdate, it's like both a belated and early gift ^^~ The MV is interesting, I'm looking forward to when I have time alone later and can really look at it more and analyze it. Purple suits him so well! I wanna share the gifs I found. [x] [x] "ã¬ã„ãã‚‹ã¿ã‚“ ðŸ»æœ€é«˜â¤" Plushimin the best ^^ I want both the card and bear.

For a year and a half now, my ex whom I departed from quite a while ago has been sending me messages trying to get back in contact with me. Every couple months a new one arrives, as though by a clockwork design. I read the first one in full, the others I didn't even glimpse. I haven't responded to any 'cause I've no interest in reconnecting with her in any form and thought by giving back silence, it would be enough of a response on its own while discouraging future messages. But no! They keep coming, even my sister during one of our brief conversations has questioned me about it 'cause apparently my ex had been asking on SNS if anyone knew how to contact me. How is the silence not enough? Every time I log in and see a new alert of a message on a site, a new email, it physically wrecks my body by giving me headaches and pains in my tummy and back, while spiking anxiety in my yolkbrain. I've considered changing my email with my dentist, etc so I'll no longer have to see it anymore but I always re-convince myself that it'll be the last message 'cause surely, one would get the hint. Yesterday she somehow (how) found my mom's email and wrote her this long essay. On Christmas Eve. It of course got forwarded to me. I cannot believe... the level of utter, spidery, bullshitty bullshit. I really just can't maintain happiness for long, can I? Not even on this holiday I like so much and wanted to really try to enjoy this year since last year my brain wasn't letting me. I don't know if I'm angry at how long this has been going on and how it's managed to escalate despite my lack of doing anything to perpetuate it, or if I want to cry 'cause it's like I'm being backed into a corner where I'll be forced to talk to her to get her to stop and I really don't want to communicate. I feel more in cry mode, as my eyes have spent embers lining them and a hot wetness is puffing the centers.

I'll join ^^ Also I have a question about the poll on whether or not to have an extension: since so far 52 voted to extend whereas only 2 don't want to, is it essentially decided that it'll be extended? Thank you!

There used to a thread in the Lobby for this, it was called the Disabled Users thread and it was pretty active all things considered. But then someone mentioned to the staff there was the Disabled Users thread and the Mental and Physical Illness Support thread, the latter being in the sport health & fitness subforum. So the staff merged the disabled users thread into the support thread and it ended up buried in the sport health & fitness subforum. I always thought it was such an annoying and poor decision. It was years ago and I can't remember if I brought it up and questioned why it was merged that way. I had been considering asking for OP of the Support thread but didn't bother 'cause I didn't see the point if it was just going to continue growing moss and flowers in a stowed away place. It's nice it's active again and once more in the place it should've stayed at from the beginning! It strikes me as careless how some are acting in regards to it. It's one thing to share the translation and respond in that space, it's another to keep superfluously re-sharing excerpts of it. I don't understand that behavior and although I know all people mourn and take things in differently, it still is uncomfortable. I can't word well why it disturbs me so much but it does...

It's a cool mission, but gosh 21 replies on a thread of my own? That'll never happen in my lifetime.

All the derision about people supposedly clamoring for Western validation has gotten old. A lot of the happiness over appearances on established talk shows and an awards show that's relatively known isn't joy over Western validation, it's joy over Asian representation as well as just excited/interested in these new events in the group's career. Which reminds me, it's strange and awkward when those who for whatever reason despise the fact that Bangtan will be on a few shows and doing some interviews in the US start going on about how no one will be receptive (nice hyperbole) 'cause of racism and stigmas and then proceed to list them all off in a crude manner complete with how Bangtan supposedly fits them while even using racial slurs. How do you not realize how gross and bizarre that is? It really seems like some people either harbor these racist views deep down themselves or harbor some sort of complex and are using the opportunity to get it out while veiling it as just saying the "truth" of how "everyone" will receive the group. The best case scenario is they're utterly inept and tactless at expressing themselves.

He went from dozing while studying for driving to owning everyone on the race track! His character development is good in every way. Of course, he's always cool ^^ He's the best, he's great, he's number one! [x] Steering your heart to the finish line. I found this Hwarang picture I hadn't seen before and it really radiates a "getting stuck taking a picture with your cousin whom you haven't seen in 12 years and have gloomy memories of" aura Hello ^^ I follow a lot of what you're saying. I've been listening to Kpop for about a decade too, around 13 or so years. I often either wouldn't have a favorite member of a group or the rank of favorite would rotate, all of which still sometimes happens but not with Bangtan. V's a major component why I wanted to start following them more closely in 2014, beyond just listening, in the first place. I hope you make many friends. Bye bye.

I was watching the latest Run episode and when it got to Suga's proclamation of innocence at the race track- [x] We know it and we love you! I watched this while setting up laundry and I accidentally poured almost 1/3rd of the fabric conditioner into one load, so my review of Bangtan Laundry Time is 2 out of 5 stars.

Hello, my name's Alex ^^ I made a Xiumin edit a couple nights ago on a whim and I wanna share it with you. After the solar eclipse tweet, I was re-watching all the predebut teasers and Pathcode videos. Xiumin's was always one of my favorites next to Baekhyun's 'cause of the feeling it radiates, so I made something based on that feeling. I don't see Xiumin's recently unearthed friendship with Wolverine showcased in all its glory here, I'll just slip it in. [x] And the return of maA~rshmallow~ [x] Also, I don't know if you know, but there's this twitter that posts pictures of Xiumin juxtaposed with cats and they're the best. Here are some! Well, that's all. Thank you, thank you, and bye bye.

Gekko, I'd like to join ^^ I know! I consider it to be a small but notable example of how times are changing. It gives this ribcage-flutter feeling. Back circa 2003 the thought of one of the bands I liked from east Asia getting on the radio or drifting through the air at the store here was inconceivable to me! Considering the majority of Bangtan's songs and a not-so-miniscule portion of their MVs touch on the subject of love and romance, I'm not sure why someone would be caught off guard so as to be upset by a love concept. WINGS is the one time they veered almost entirely away from love, so it's the exception and far from the rule, and you don't have to've known them for years to pick up on that. I also don't get why some people downgrade the theme of love so much. I mean yeah, shallow and generalized love songs are uninteresting and it's unfortunate they're so ubiquitous but who says this album will be like that? The theme of romance and the message love yourself actually go together very well. Navigating romance and love in one's youth is far from simple and straightforward, it's easy to end up seriously hurt and damaged, fall into a self-destructive rut, struggle due to impositions of others. Love is one of those things that's endlessly complex but gets consistently watered down into having next to no meaning. It's sad to think such a subject has been so mangled and overdone enough in its mangled way to have jaded people to it when it should be a great and diverse subject. I would like some love songs I can relate to 'cause there aren't anywhere near enough. If their look into youth who've fallen in love contains even one I can tuck into my heart and call mine, it'll be a truly precious album. I'm thinking since falling in love is the album's main portrayal, they're going to step up their game in terms of writing and it'll melt into the following albums, so that'll be fun to watch out for too. When it comes to love, you have to work at forging a protective shield for yourself and part of that shield is loving/respecting yourself.

How I feel lately, especially with the way my family keeps crowding together and forcing me to spend time with them. When I get to be alone in my room, there's often someone poking their head into my room or randomly walking by. "Randomly"... It's like being in the psych ward but with all my stuff and I can use real silverware.