yeppuda

A little annoying gnawing thought on my mind: I'm actually afraid I won't be able to see BTS in real life. There's no concert area close to me and as a college student, I can't afford to buy airplane tickets and the hotel accommodations even if I try to save for a year. But you know what? I'm just going to trust BTS and how they told us they're going to be together for so long. As long as BTS stays intact, there will be hope.

My heart is torn. I know that before they disappear for their tour, BTS is going to release one last content yet I didn't think it will be a repackage. However, I also know that there must be a reason why they're doing this. It just feels so fast~~~ I don't want to sound so spoiled but are we not going to get anything at the fourth quarter? Perhaps I got used to long periods before comebacks.

How about this: repack on Aug. release of a single at the fourth quarter while they're touring ??

 

Long time lurker. Created an account just to say this:

 

I think a discussion on ARMY/fandom's in general and what's happening and what seems to be the trend is a long overdue discussion.

Let me start by saying I am not attacking anyone or singling anyone out and you will see that reflected in the type of language used. More than anything the goal of this is to just make as many people aware of what's going on and why it is not and should not be acceptable. The only reason I am addressing this more towards ARMY is because it is the fandom that I am most familiar with and was a part of, but this is by no means JUST an ARMY thing, but ARMY may arguably be the biggest culprit of it currently.

I started being a fan of BTS about 1 year and 2 months ago. I am not as old a stan as some, nor am I as new as some either. I have a bias, his name is Jungkook. I support BTS as best as I can. I vote. I buy their songs digitally. I occasionally buy physical albums. I stream on multiple platforms. I am going to their concert when they are in town. I want BTS to do well. I want Jungkook to do well.

There have been some times where I have been incredibly proud to be ARMY, but there are times where I am honestly embarrassed at what I see on Twitter, Instagram, and gradually even here on the sub-reddits. These embarrassing times are growing, fast. Now let me be clear that I know not everything is bad. I have personally met 4 incredible people, people I consider close friends, just by being a fan of BTS. I stan BTS. I am a fan of BTS, of that there is no question and no doubt. Do I consider myself ARMY right now? Would I consider myself as part of any fandom? Quite frankly, no, and here's why.

In the end it comes down to respect, or rather a lack of respect for people who are multi's, those who have biases, other groups, other groups' fans.

I enjoy the music of multiple other groups. I love Blackpink songs. I have some Big Bang songs. I have some RV songs, Mamamoo songs, Wanna One songs, Seventeen songs, EXO songs. Being a multi does not make me or anyone else any less of a fan than someone who only supports one group. As humans, we are allowed to have our opinion, have our likes and dislikes.

On the other hand, having a bias and wanting our bias to do well also does not make any of us less of a fan of the entire group. A prime example of this is the recent Euphoria trend that started in Korea and gradually seeped through to international fans. Wanting a studio copy of Euphoria because we don't have one, or bringing attention to a song that deserved more attention is not wrong. It does not make us a solo stan. It does not EVER justify attacking someone with a bias personally or asserting they are just a solo stan. These personal attacks, bullying, harassment of people who have publicly shared a different opinion are cruel. I have seen people get bullied and harassed off of a platform because of just an opinion they've shared. It's not right, it's cruel. We are all people, we can have our own opinions.

Think about how attacking someone will affect their mental state. Depression is a very real thing, and it does not take a lot to set off a chain of events that you really do not even want to fathom. I know, because I've been there. For a specific example that ARMY reading this will know, just look at Headliner and the kinds of things she has had to deal with: death threats, threats to her family, threats disguised as orders etc. I am certain this type of thing occurs in other fandom's too. Understand that when this happens, they are NOT supporting the group. They are embarrassing the group, and themselves. This type of behavior should be condemned, not celebrated. It should be stopped, not circulated to the masses. Understand and realize that doing any of these malicious things under the guise of supporting BTS or whatever group it may be does NOT help that group whatsoever. In fact, as it pertains to BTS, a lot of people are scared to give BTS a try because of the fandom. Are we really supporting BTS when this is the case?

The same applies with trashing and talking down other groups or their fans. It certainly appears that ARMY is the biggest culprit of this because quite frankly it seems like BTS' success has made a vast portion of fans extremely arrogant and egotistical (I do know that ARMY are not the only one's who trash groups). BTS' success can not be used to attack other groups or think of other groups as inferior. The whole debacle today and yesterday with the FIFA voting and other fandom's supporting EXO's Power just so BTS does not win is at least 50% the fault of ARMY, likely more. It's a direct result of all the incendiary things that have been said, all the "wars" that have happened. Yet still, after the voting was over there are still so many who have stuck to the same old ways. Did BTS deserve to win? Yes. Did EXO also deserve to win? Yes. And guess what, both songs are being played. There is nothing wrong with believing one favorite group is the best, but there's no need to put down other groups or their fans. The other groups are talented too. They have good songs too. They also have dedicated fans that just want to see their group succeed. BTS, EXO, Blackpink etc. will never ask fans to put down the other groups. Look at their interactions at award shows. They support each other. They're friendly to each other, and most of all, you can see how much respect each and every group has for one another.

In the end all this comes down to respect. If nothing else, respect that the other groups work hard. Respect that they too have dedicated fans. Respect the fact that they put out music that people enjoy. Respect that there is a HUMAN BEING behind that Twitter/Instagram account. No one is saying that one has to help another group stream or win awards or anything of the sort, but it is entirely possible to respect all groups and their fans while STILL supporting the group you love most. The two are not mutually exclusive. Just like how being a multi but having one favorite is not mutually exclusive. Having a bias and still supporting the entire group is not mutually exclusive. It does not make you less of a fan. It certainly does not make any of those who attack other fans and groups any more of a fan. We are all better than this. We can all get along. There are respectful ARMY's, EXO-L's, Blinks, VIP's, and more out there. There is room in the KPop genre for all the groups. There is success to be had for all the groups.

For the ARMY reading this, and for the other's who've made it this far, indulge me one last paragraph. Remember the "Love Yourself" message. I believe it is a message that says we should strive to be better than ourselves the previous hour, day, week, month, year. We should be comparing ourselves to ourselves, not to others. Extend that beyond and realize that BTS and all the records they've broken, the next time around they are competing against themselves. If they end up surpassing some other record they didn't have, great. If they don't, that's okay too. You can see it in what each member says, they just want to be better than they were. Another example, Blackpink now holds the record for most MV views by a kpop group in 24 hours now. The next time Blackpink comes back they'll be going up against that record they got. The point is not to beat other groups and try to monopolize everything. It's about beating the previous result that the group had themselves. I think the sooner more fans realize this the happier and less stressed they will be, and the better the relationship fan's will have with each other.

 

This is the very first time I'm going to address this issue in words and not just as a passing thought. 

I have a very unhealthy eating attitude. I obsess on exercising and losing weight and every day I'm getting more and more frustrated about myself, saying I didn't exercise well, I should have just eaten less, or I should have fasted longer. I became obsessed with being thin it's actually scary. I can tell the calories of any food you put in front of me. Tonight, I just had the first meal that's past 9pm after three or four months. I can't eat using normal-sized plates now. I got used to eating using a small ass saucer (yes, that little plate you put under your tea/coffee cup). I think my stomach has started to shrink because even though I've been eating small portions, halfway through the meal, I'm already full. 

I'm actually glad that I live with my parents now because if I lived alone, maybe I would have starved myself more. It's a scary thought - the things I can do to myself if left unattended. I guess I'm suffering from anorexia nervosa or that other exercise obsession eating disorder or body dysmorphia. I don't know. Bloody hell. One disorder might have been gone only to be replaced by another disorder.

I'm gonna wait for me to actually shred all these pounds and if I'm at my ultimate goal weight and still unhappy, then I'm finally going to look for help.

getting thin is hard. it's hard to stand when you feel light-headed every time. i wish i didn't wish i was thin