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Posts posted by Shaandenigma
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11 hours ago, sergel said:
Curious about people opinions on this topic
I think what's problematic with this behavior is the posting all over TikTok/Twitter/Youtube about these things like they are fact and not the act of "assuming" or speculating in "closed" spaces (putting closed in quotes because the Internet isn't a closed space but there is a difference speculating here or on your Discord and like creating hashtags and being in someone's mentions on Twitter). As was pointed out, celebrity culture in the present day purposely cultivates parasocial relationships between fans and their idols as a marketing strategy to get you to buy whatever they are selling. Kpop takes this to a heightened level as idols are crafted as products specifically for fans to project all their desires on rather than being real, nuanced and complex people with agency. So you can't blame fans for reading into it, but it does need to be reinforced that these people are not your friends and you aren't entitled to know everything about them beyond their job and what they choose to divulge and you shouldn't be coming at them or the people around them to get "the truth."
I do hate how this conversation is never had with any nuance and how it becomes a vehicle for people to express tangentially related grievances and their own internalized homophobia. Like that thread has people going on about shipping, real person fanfics, and calling gay rights a "U.S. political issue" and reflective of a U.S. centric worldview, like LGBT people and movements don't exist anywhere else in the world. Also when closeted queer people get on a soapbox about stereotyping and how you should never ever assume a sexuality because you can just never know, it gives me flashbacks to when I was coming out in the late 00s/early 10s where gay gays were running around labeling themselves as "straight-acting" (read traditionally masculine and lowkey) as if they were not only superior to "stereotypical" (read femme and flamboyant) gays, but are some how victimized by their visibility. I get why it would be unnerving that people may be able to tell you aren't straight when you don't want them to pick up on it. But I hate how in defending the right to privacy and self-disclosure, people erase the fact that IRL queer people do engage in certain behaviors and give certain cues to identify each other in non-queer dominant spaces. Yes, some of those things are stereotypical or become stereotypes overtime. But stereotyping isn't the problem, it's prejudice. And I wish people would confront the prejudice head on rather than policing queer people just seeking validation in a world where it's rarely given and at a time where there is a concerted political effort--even in Western countries--to erase queer people from public life. There are bigger more consequential matters to focus our energy on; like securing actual legal rights and protections that have a real material impact on people's lives.
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2 hours ago, sureyeahiguess said:
I've watched all of Cravity Park and a bunch of interviews/variety shows, and this is what I've distilled as my take (for science). I think Hyeongjun, Seongmin, Jungmo, and Allen are all on the queer spectrum. Minhee is interesting to think about but I think he is just doing fanservice. Taeyoung I think is also just an ally, nothing about him pings for me. The rest are straight.
46 minutes ago, sureyeahiguess said:I will admit my feeling that Allen is queer is only based on vibes/mannerisms. He's another western born idol that gives me that feeling. Its the same initial feeling I get from Kevin and Jacob, Keeho. and Joshua. It's just a reflection of my own gay life. I guess that's what gaydar is.
I've been watching more Cravity stuff too because they have a legitimately entertaining group dynamic and there's a general consensus around Hyeongjun, Seongmin, and Jungmo, but I'm glad I'm not the only one picking up a vibe from Allen lately now that they are using him and Taeyoung for more English content like their Zach Sang Show interview and hosting ASC with Aron. He has a certain air about him that I can't figure if it's just him having a dance background or what. He reminds me a lot of Felix, like the same kind of vibe. I can also see the similarity to Kevin and Jacob at debut when Kevin especially was way more subtle. Taeyoung seems very open-minded and like a free-spirit but he's also a little too good at and into performing female choreos like that Dally performance he did for a school talent show and the Antifragile choreo recently on ASC. I don't get anything from Minhee other than pretty boy, and everyone just reads as most likely straight though Serim is interesting from time to time.
On a sidenote, I think you were the one who mentioned getting a church gay vibe from Jacob and as a church gay I totally felt that. What sealed the deal for me was learning he was a worship leader on the praise team at his church, lol. As was Joshua.
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It's always amusing that everytime someone comes in here talking about statistics or dropping "credentials" no one asked for to assert their "expert" status, they quickly reveal that they have never taken a statistics course and don't know what they're talking about. Then get huffy and launch into a multipost rant about things that didn't even happen in this thread and bounce when the people say "and who are you?"
I say as an experienced 31 year-old gay man who has actually studied statistics and has to interpret and cite studies as part of their profession and finds it bizarre when grown ass people pop in here to randomly throw down with who they perceive to be teenagers over who is more right about the lives and attitudes of people none of us know and will most likely never meet outside a 5 second hi-touch.
But I guess when you have a BA in Clownery from B.T. Barnum University you gotta put it to use somewhere.
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4 hours ago, ray20220826 said:
Oh, you're still triggered by and dwelling on what I wrote a few days ago? How funny and ... sad, really.
I don't know them, and there's zero useful context (e.g., a video), but the way he phrased it isn't particularly romantic. Essentially, it's "I love this guy/kid/rascal."
99% of the time an actual gay Korean guy wouldn't phrase it this way, nor would they share anything gay and romantic on IG if they're an idol (no, Holland isn't considered an idol in Korea).
But please, stay confused and believe what you want: reject expertise and assume all cultures are like yours. Assume that you, a Western female, know how gay men in another culture behave. Desperate commitment to ignorance is the trend among neoimperialistic Westerners these days, and it's working out so well.
I'll be ignoring you moving forward. Be well!
Weren't you earlier complaining about needless passive aggressiveness and condescension to then turn around and be the epitome of it? That last part was so unnecessary and sanctimonious. Really got me of all people out here defending MEeEeE, smh.
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35 minutes ago, heedeungie said:
gay men can very much be friends with straight people (yk if they aren’t homophobic) but i get what you mean
Gay men can also just be friends with other gay/bi men.
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26 minutes ago, highlighth0sh said:
Sorry to bring back a topic from a few pages ago, but is anyone witnessing the gay Mingyu discourse happening on twitter rn? Despite the fact the club him and Seungcheol were at in DC wasn't a gay club, it seems he still managed to get up to gay antics according to this guy
Of course OP could just be looking for his 5 seconds of fame after posting and then deleting a blurry ‘evidence’ but it’s nevertheless a hilarious scenario to imagine. Mingyu asking permission from a girl to smack her bf’s ass then buying her and her friends a drink. I’m not taking it as gospel (it’s twitter ffs) but it does seem on brand lmao
That's just a regular weeknight at Decades, lol.
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2 hours ago, tomek said:
It was in a gay neighborhood but not sure about the club.
I explained the deal with the neighborhood and the club a few posts back.
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6 minutes ago, greysides said:
nah yall dont get it, i am bi and before this i was the leader of taehyung bi advocacy. the issue is jennie, like nothing against her as a person but she comes across as so heterosexual, like particularly heterosexual. the kind who would be very grossed out at the idea of a bi man, the kind who would say he's just gay. the kind who would say love is love for the likes but would also say gay people dont have to kiss in front of her. for taehyung to be dating her and actually be happy in the relationship not only means he's straight, it means he's that kind of straight.
its giving me a brain aneurysm to believe, but i've seen the pics. idk what else to think. unless he's secretly unhappy
So Taehyung is now a homophobe by association because you think Jennie is a homophobe based on...nothing?
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4 hours ago, gam3 bo1 said:
it's not a gay club
people just ran with that because some guy posted that mingyu smacked his ass at the club (also maybe because the tiktoker who spotted them said that she was initially going to go to a lesbian bar but then decided on this one and ended up spotting both of them). they were spotted at decades in washington dc and the original poster cleared up that it wasn't a gay club.
I live in DC and have been to Decades and while it's not like a branded GAY club, a lot of gays go there since it's located in the legacy gayborhood, Dupont Circle and they play a good range of music since it's multiple floors with each floor dedicated to a particular decade. A lot of internationals end up there too because its near a lot of the embassies and the higher end hotels. It's not the same as if they were spotted on U Street, but it's like if you wanted some play and be discreet that's the place to go because it doesn't heavily skew toward any end of the spectrum. It's very mixed.
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Man the post show drama is jucier than anything that happened on the show to the point they should collab with MTV and do spin off "His Ex" and put these guys all back in the house again to hash their stuff out, lol.
But in all seriousness, the shippers with this show are on a whole other level with the way they insert themselves and stir the pot. They are working overtime to turn this Changmin and Jeonghyeon thing into a much bigger deal than it is to the point those two should just tell them where to shove it and just hash out their stuff in private.
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1 minute ago, Dont mind me said:
You and I usually agree on this mind of matters and that spans many many different threads. We even love the same show, we did where drift off? What happend to us?
I think you and I are saying the same thing, but speaking in different languages. So just to be clear again, I also don't care about people who either go hard on the gay Taehyung or the ones who think he is a longterm relationship with JK ( although that one seems insane) but let people be their insane self. All I am saying and you as well i think, is it doesn't matter and people should just chill out without putting others into two different camps.
Yeah, we're in agreement. It's cool. People can stop jumping down each others' throats about this now.
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27 minutes ago, Dont mind me said:
This thread sometimes forgets to read what one writes. I said its a drama to enjoy, not drama to be overwhelmed with. Its a typical story for any gossip mags, nothing to big or even worth creating a debate about it. Just enjoy the funny drama, nothing else really.
Dont know what else i can say.
I was being sarcastic, lol. My whole point is that this is a dumb thing either way to get exercised about which has been my position all along. Like one can think the pictures aren't a big deal whether they are real or fake or whatever and also think that it wouldn't be the end of the world if they were dating while also not thinking the pictures in and of themselves are the undisputable confirmation think they are. Like why people are getting called delusional Taekookers for acknowledging that very real possibility or that people think they could be dating are just gay Tae denialists is beyond me.
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37 minutes ago, MotorHome said:
Who said I want them to do anything? I am just pointing out the difference between how people view male/female rumours and the possibility of idols being anything other than straight. You talk about people taking shit too seriously but you don't seem to like people questioning Taennie being real and thinking Tae is into men.
What should bother people is LGBT people having to hide who they are, not the fact that they are LGBT.
If Jennie and Tae were dating, I would be happy for them. I just don't think this is proof that they are and the person involved pretending they know Tae is straight is ridiculous.
Just want to publicly say that I appreciate how you consistently and eloquently make rational points and stay above the fray. It takes me back to when there was reasonable discourse on thread
5 minutes ago, Dont mind me said:So just enjoy the drama that comes with it.
Sis, this isn't even good tea. Wow, kpop it girl likes to wear matching Winnie the pooh t-shirts with her (alleged) kpop it boy boyfriend and sometimes they take mirror selfies at the beauty shop and his apartment. HYBE and YG need to call a joint press conference to finally set the record straight on the hottest scandal of the century before it scorches our asses up! It's just TEW much to handle. TEW much.
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The only thing I find confusing is how thousands of people let themselves get all fucked up by some winne the pooh shirts and a below amateur anon trying to get their 15 minutes of notoriety for a week.
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1 hour ago, rainbow halo said:
Anyway I feel like many people are trying to make Changmin seem like a snake or something but I just don't see it. Junghyun isn't some poor damsel, he has also "deceived" fans into thinking they were dating just like Changmin.
Yeah, Changmin got a lot of unwarranted hate. Like it wasn’t his fault a bunch of guys were obsessed with him when he literally only ever expressed interest in Hyeokjun and Jeonghyeon, and he took the initiative to tell Hyeokjun that he like Jeonghyeon more and was no longer interested. Meanwhile, reciprosexual Hyeokjun had just as many guys after him the entire time and strung them all along up until the very end while also having another guy waiting in the wings off the show. But even I can't blame him too much because they only knew each other for a week (less for Hyeon and Jeongho who came in late). I also think based on this recent live that Changmin didn't want to room with Jeonghyeon because he was afraid they'd rush into getting physical which would have made everything messier if they didn't work out. Changmin is shy, but at least he is direct and considerate of his partner's needs and is willing to put them ahead of his wants if he feels he can't meet them. He felt bad that he had to focus in his business and was always late to their dates and decided not to keep Jeonghyeon tied down with that. I can't see how he's a bad guy in this situation.
1 hour ago, sureyeahiguess said:Truth. The fans on twitter are talking foolishness today. These people only lived together for a WEEK. They barely had time to because friendly, let alone develop a serious romantic relationship. It's insane to become so invested in any "couple" we saw form on the show.
I'm guessing Changmin and Jeonghyeon are FWB, I got those vibes from them during the live. Like I said previously, I think Changmin finds Jeonghyeon young and probably immature (not in a negative way), which makes sense because he is 19!!! There is definitely sexual chemistry there, and Jeonghyeon definitely seems like he has a crush on him, but I don't think Changmin is interested at all in a romantic, long-term relationship with him.
Also, all the people yelling about using the show for clout....uhhhhh ya think??? And they will continue to create content with one another, and good for them. They should try and build off the show and get paid while they still can.
Honestly, people had too high expectations for the show. Like I said, dating shows produce way more failed relationships than they do successful ones. And gays already have an uphill battle in the dating arena especially in a conservative place like Korea where you can legally lose your house and your job for being gay. All these guys took a major risk coming on this show so if they want to leverage the positive attention to boost their careers, more power to them. Because love alone doesn't pay the bills lol.
From what I've seen of Changmin outside of the show, I think he's LTR oriented but also very attuned to wanting to be able to meet his partner's needs and the type to not pursue anything if he doesn't feel he has his shit together enough. The food service industry is very competitive and takes a lot of work. So I fully believe he really doesn't have the time to invest in a serious relationship the way he wants to. I also don't think they've done anything yet, but will eventually if they keep hanging around each other because Jeonghyeon is determined in that naive sort of way gay guys his age who only pursue older men are (speaking as a former one myself lol). Like I had to shake my head when he said he'd let a guy cheat on him once when he was in tears after Changmin didn't pick him to share a room and then had to spy on him and Hyeon like there was even a chance they'd do something. He fronts at being like a cool boy who is so understanding (but is really willing to just be a doormat) and I think Changmin sees through that and is trying to spare him. But it's failing. I'm just glad Jeonghyeon is fixated on a guy like Changmin rather than one of the plethora of other sleazebags who'd take advantage of his naivete without a second thought.
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I think people need to stop projecting their own feelings and disappointment as "fans" onto Changmin and Jeonghyeon and how they are making their own decisions about how to proceed or not with their own relationship. It also bothers me how their shippers act as though Jeonghyeon has zero agency and no responsibility for his own feelings and default to make him the victim to "Bug Bad Changmin." Maybe Jeonghyeon doesn't feel "used" because he isn't being used? Anyone who goes on dating show is doing it in part for the exposure and not because it's the most successful way to find true love (they fail way more often than they succeed on that front). The show only stopped airing 4 days ago. With how quick their shippers are to flip on them, I don’t blame them on delaying the fury and not immediately being like "hey y'all we aren't in a committed relationship."
It was clear to me in this last SIX hour live they did where they were drinking and talking about sex, that they still have feelings for each other and are in a situationship. And even if they were over each other, we as viewers aren't owed the resolution we want and don't have a right to feel "deceived" about how they decide to lead their personal lives. We saw edited footage from a week they spent in a bubble four months ago. These aren't characters in a real life BL. As a 31 year old gay man I found the show very relatable and an accurate portrayal of the reality of gay dating which is what the producers set out to do.
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1 hour ago, ray20220826 said:
So is OnlyOnOf's "be mine" "correcting" queerbaiting in "libidO"? Or was there no queerbaiting in the latter (lyrics, MV, and/or dance performance)? I'm trying to learn. I saw this:
From "On Queerbaiting, Betrayal, and the Quest for Better Representation", Teen Vogue, May 4, 2022.
This is the quoted piece, "OnlyOneOf's 'Libido' and Queer-baiting in K-pop".
I wouldn't say that they were queerbaiting in libid0 either, because it was explicitly stated in the description of the M/V and in all their other official content that the concept behind the album was same-sex male desire, the pairings are canon to their content, and they've been consistently going with these story lines in all their projects since. The members have also mad supportive comments to the community and defend their work too, so I don't see where a bait and switch occurred. The only thing that sets libid0 apart from all the other things mentioned is that it's just much more overtly sexual and people are used to seeing any display of male sexuality regardless of the partners involved being targeted for a primarily straight and female audience and thus inauthentic by default. Because by the second piece's criteria, the absence of that is the only thing that make's Day6's video less "queerbaity."
There's also a separate discussion to be had how people have gotten more puritanical in what they consider "good and authentic" queer representation with the backlash toward more racy things like Queer as Folk and the "Cancel P-Valley" controversy.
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11 hours ago, K-Poppie said:
Happy for them, but I wonder how exactly this works? Like, what is the legality/validity/legitimacy of their marriage and how does it apply to them as South Korean citizens? Did either of them have some kind of American citizenship to get a marriage license? A Chinese gay couple I followed also obtained a marriage license from Taiwan, despite having Chinese citizenship and living in China, so I wonder how these kinds of marriage laws work(For example, a legally married same-sex couple visiting/travelling to countries that prohibit same-sex relations)…
You don't need to be a citizen to get a marriage license in the U.S. You can present a passport and whatever other documents required by the specific state (since they have different requirements) from your home country. However if the marriage violates the public policy of your home country it won't automatically be considered valid there. However, South Korea is part of the Hague Convention like the U.S. and those member nations recognize the legality of public documents from other member nations. I don't think they'd get the rights that came with marriage in Korea though. If they were to get divorced though, they would have to file in the U.S.
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1 hour ago, lgbtxt said:
i feel like everyone's missing the point that the image being real or fake doesn't determine whether they're dating or not
?? if it's real, they could be friends or dating. if it's fake, they could still secretly be friends or dating like-- two people can be in the same room without being in love,, right? or are they in a throuple with the stylist too? why do dating rumors always drain all the common sense from people's heads lmao
Was just about to say this. Like the picture itself proves nothing other than they were at the same beauty shop at the same time, which regularly happens with idols since they get their hair done at the same places by the same people. It's funny how people will rip way more valid interactions apart if the implication is gay but will readily accept dry stuff like this for "see, they're straight" moment. Like come harder and truly earn the right to serve your homebaked humble pie, lol.
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27 minutes ago, lgbtxt said:
i'm so ???????? even if this pic is real, there's nothing romantic about it? and neither is any other "proof" about them for that matter. they could very well just be friends. once they're spotted holding hands or swappin spit maybe i'll believe it. but i'm still not buying it yet.
This picture is literally giving "hey, look who's in the chair before me, lol." Like nothing about this says "we're a couple going public," and it's funny how people want to declare it with their whole chest and clown people for not accepting "facts." Just really amusing, lol.
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Well they sure delivered on the drama with these last two eps going into the finale. Glad they finally showed Changmin being straightforward and speaking plainly about where his attention is and that it's all on Jeonghyeon so people can stop riding his ass about everything. He was the only one not playing games.
Unlike Hyeokjun who I do not understand the appeal that has half the cast obsessed with him. He was basically either the number one or two choice. He's also a waffler and actively flirts with all the people courting him even though you know he doesn't actually like them, he likes the attention. Seonyul annoys me too but I can't blame him for being upset about Hyeokjun and Jeongho rooming together after that date they had and Hyeokjun made it seem like he really did reciprocate Seonyul's feelings. Seonyul shouldn't have dragged Changyu into that mess though and should be confronting Hyeokjun instead of snapping at Jeongho.
I think Jeongho is playing himself going all in on Hyeokjun. They have nothing in common, I could not imagine Hyeokjun being at a Kiki ball or vibing with the Hokeep persona at all. And based on what he said he finds attractive about him, I feel like he thinks he's a blank slate he can project his ideal husband onto. I also would have been put off by Hyeokjun saying his ideal type is someone who likes him more than he likes them. I think Jeongho is more compatible with Changyu but if he's not feeling it, then he's not feeling it. But to pass over someone who checks off all your boxes for a guy who is just going to be after the next hot guy who looks his way is... a choice.
I like Hyeon, but he's a messy bitch. I think it's just for the show though.
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17 minutes ago, sureyeahiguess said:
My god, I'm honestly surprised. I thought they would switch gears after KB's song. This is wild
I had a feeling that they'd have the storylines for all their solos be tied to their canonical ships after they did it with Yoojung and KB. I also feel like I read somewhere that these solos were still part of the Instinct project they've had going their last two releases.
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8 minutes ago, Dont mind me said:
I saw this in the last episode, he is finally more confident and speaks up. But i still want more directing from the producers to move things along. We only have few more episodes due to those conservative assholes.
Have you seen the extra clips they release? Because there were a lot of other developments that happened during the last ep that they didn't include that suggest a major shift in the next couple of eps. Like in the one released today showed that the Changmin changed the sleeping arrangements in the quad room so that he and Jeonghyeon are sharing a bed and he said he did that because he has the highest affinity for Jeonghyeon out of the three. And since he kept throwing himself on Jeonghyeon's bed during the phone calls, that switch probably happened beforehand. But it’s in this trailer for the next ep so who knows. But it’s definitely spicing things up ahead of the room swap:
there is a translated transcript in the comments.
Editing to add I think something could develop with Jeongho and Changyu since they were in a promo photo together and have been hanging around each other, now sharing a bed for at least a night.
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2 hours ago, Chika Chika said:
If anyone is keeping up with that Korean dating show His. I really am starting to feel frustrated with people just picking one guy. I think he is either getting picked by most either because he is openly a top or because he is very good-looking.
It seems to be going nowhere also the episodes have been cut short by at least 20 minutes because people in Korea really did not want it to be that long so now we only get like 40 minutes and some parts don't make sense cause they cut out a lot. Also weirdly the guy Changmin who is getting picked by everyone doesn't even seem interested in anyone.
I posted my thoughts in greater detail on the other thread for the show, but I think people are overblowing the dynamic which is also just a reality of gay dating. Also, watching the additional clips they post on their YouTube channel shows that a lot more is going on in the house and there is a lot of development. But keep in mind they are only there for a week and it's only been 3 days shown so far, so it's understandable for these guys to just write off and move on from people they've barely spent time with.

Which male idols do you think are gay?
in Celebrity News & Gossip
Posted
As someone who doesn't follow BTS discourse but has seen both their UN and White House appearances and just the things that get posted here, can someone point me to what they've done that is an actual political stance and not just milquetoast sentiments? Because from my view who actually does progressive policy advocacy professionally, , like... they don't stand for anything actually progressive??? All their statements don't actually take stances to say they have a liberal brand. I would say their brand is inclusive because they are intentional not to alienate anyone in what they say. But they don't do anything except but be mouthpiece's for other people's agendas and align themselves with the things that work in favor of the interests of theose backing them and providing them a platform. The UN speech said nothing, White House appearance said nothing and was really inappropriate for what the Biden Administration was using them for, that if they really were what their fans project them to be, they would have seen and declined that invitation.
Idk, I'm sitting here like a lot of disappointment would have been avoided if fans themselves didn't give them unearned accolades and projecting political views onto them when they say or do the bare minimum, and even the bare minimum gives zero indication that they would take an activist stance on anything.